Pace of life and pies (Raleigh, Chapel Hill: chapel, house, neighborhoods)

[west seattle gal]

Hi, I have more questions about The Triangle:

How would you characterize the pace of life for the average middle class professional family? Is it slow and laid-back, hectic and fast-paced, or something in-between?

Commute -- Years ago my commute from Raleigh to Chapel Hill was more than an hour during rush hour -- is the traffic OK, or has it worsened due to the population increase?

Workplace -- Is business casual more the norm, or do most wear suits/ties or heels/stockings? Is there a type A, competitive, formal vibe in most professional settings (ex. tech, healthcare), or it more relaxed and friendly?

Neighborhoods -- Is there a prevalent materialistic, compete with the Jones' feel, or are neighbors more close-knit, friendly, and social? Do neighbors watch one another and gossip or criticize, or are people more live-and-let-live? Do people still bake pies for new neighbors?

Just trying to understand if the Triangle has changed much over the years.

[poppydog]

Traffic is worse.

I'm sure there are some of all those people you describe, but I don't run into them. I don't think suits are common in tech. I wouldn't think so in healthcare, either, but maybe it depends on the specific environment in healthcare.

I think brownies are more common for new neighbors!

[goodbyesnow]

I'll just share my experience so far. We moved here last summer. I feel it's hectic and faced-paced here, with people too busy to stop and talk. After we moved in, months went by and not even a hello from a neighbor. We finally met the guy next door when he was out doing yard work and we were outside. I've never met his wife and we will have been here a year in July. I've met a couple neighbors only because they have crossed our path when we were outside. No friendly, social feel where I live, which was what I was really hoping for, and we live in a neighborhood with a pool, lake, and walking trails. The people seem anti-social. Now, a neighbor who lived here temporarily just left this neighborhood, moved 10 minutes away and has found her new neighbors very friendly and social.
I think it just depends on the area. I have talked to some people who love their neighborhood and their neighbors. I'd love to MEET my neighbors! I envisioned kids running between yards, neighbors out talking to one another, even if only for a few minutes. None of that here
Now in my workplace, the people I work with (except the boss who treats many of us like trash) are really friendly and helpful. I'm a teacher, so can't comment on business attire, but am happy we have "jeans on Friday".
I also don't have a long commute so can't give input there.

[lovebrentwood]

Workplace -- Is business casual more the norm, or do most wear suits/ties or heels/stockings? Is there a type A, competitive, formal vibe in most professional settings (ex. tech, healthcare), or it more relaxed and friendly?

Neighborhoods -- Is there a prevalent materialistic, compete with the Jones' feel, or are neighbors more close-knit, friendly, and social? Do neighbors watch one another and gossip or criticize, or are people more live-and-let-live? Do people still bake pies for new neighbors?

In pharma and tech, it's mostly casual (no jeans), but it depends on the industry. I haven't seen stockings in many years. Most women wear slacks.

I think that in companies that aren't doing well, there is an unhealthy vibe -- everyone is nervous for their jobs and are throwing each other under buses. That has happened at major employers for years, and today I heard about the same atmosphere at a much smaller company. So it depends.

Isn't everyone gossipy to a point?

Re whether or not neighborhoods are close knit, friendly, and social or keeping up with the Joneses -- it depends on the neighborhood, I'm sure, down to the street level...probably different vibes within one area.

I don't think anyone has time to bake pies for neighbors. I'm sure somewhere someplace they do it, but that seemed to be more popular when stay-at-home moms were the norm. ...so maybe it happens in neighborhoods with a lot of SAH moms?

How hectic family life is probably depends on the number of activities the children are in.

Traffic is far worse.

[west seattle gal]

Yikes, sounds like Seattle. Progressive, but somewhat impersonal.

I grew up in a more rural but suburban area of NC, and homemade pies or jam for neighbors and co-workers was the norm. However, there was excessive gossip, too. I miss the good parts of living in the SE.

Are there a lot of cyclical tech/engineering lay-offs? Do these industries rely heavily on contract work?

[poppydog]

I definitely know people who have made brownies for the new neighbors and I have done it on occasion myself.

I don't know any tech people who dress up for work. Folks I know wear shorts and t-shirts. I'm sure it depends on the job, though. Oh, I do know one assistant dean of technology and I think he has a suit. Not sure if he wears it every day, though. He's in the Law School, so a little more formal environment. I'm almost 100% sure jeans are fine at SAS. I know someone who works there and I've never seen him in any other pants except maybe for a wedding or funeral.

I was out in my street chatting with my neighbors this morning. I'm not particularly social, either, and my neighborhood is not a super social neighborhood (occasional parties, but not all the time). I don't know all my neighbors, but the ones I do know are very friendly and definitely not keep up with the Joneses type, but I think that probably has more to do with the neighborhood. I'm in the neighborhood where most of the homes don't have grass to cut, though!

Lots of food still here for new neighbors, new babies, funerals, potlucks, etc. I don't think that has changed. At least not in Chapel Hill. Couldn't say about Raleigh really, but the folks I know there are definitely the type to bring someone food. I have a friend who lives ITB and is just a fabulous cook!

I have a good friend in Carrboro and about every other time I go over to her house she's offering me some bread her neighbor made and gave her. I've given food gifts at the holidays to neighbors, too.

[west seattle gal]

I love it, poppy dog! Good to hear.

The traffic thing worries me, though. It felt like a nightmare 10 years ago.

[poppydog]

We live and work in Chapel Hill, so don't drive in it at all. Spouse walks to work at UNC. I work from home.

[michgc]

We live in Chapel Hill in a family-oriented community. One family baked us brownies and one made us cookies when we moved in. People are much less type A here than where I moved from (outside DC). Most people seem laid back and casual. Most of my neighbors are associated with the university or the hospital so I don't see many suits and ties. People are busy because they have jobs and their kids are in activities, but there are definitely days where we hang outside and chit chat. I'm a SAHM and there are a bunch of us here. I'm not really a pie baker, but I made holiday treats for a bunch of my neighbors. I don't find people to be gossipy.

[pitroad]

You only get out of it what you put into it ...... if you are friendly and outgoing you will be rewarded with the same.