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Old 10-15-2006, 10:23 AM
 
Location: Colorado
9,986 posts, read 18,627,357 times
Reputation: 2178

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassie View Post
Ditto, Nea1, but it still wouldn't have paid your bills. I get listings from various Internet job sites. ( Such as Monster. com) I laughed at one this morning. A job for an experienced Project Manager for a multi-project builder in *Charlotte.* Hold your breath now ..... a whopping $34,000 - to $45,000 a year. If this was a rare salary range in N.C. for this position I wouldn't have found it so amusing.

I wish you much happiness in Arid-zona!

Regards,

Cassie
Yep thats what we found!!! If it was just the two of us, we would have been fine, but not when you have four kids!!!! And child care costs to much!! So I stay at home. Here he started at 65000 with full benefits and a truck.
And thanks we already like it here!!!
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Old 10-21-2006, 08:37 PM
 
Location: Raleigh, NC
17 posts, read 162,294 times
Reputation: 26
Default Yes - mixed couples welcome! I would know!

I am black, my husband is white and we are 34 years old – no kids. I’ve replied to a similar post to yours in the past, but I am happy to give you some insight. We have been in North Carolina for 4 months now. We live in North Raleigh.

Now when we first moved here in June – I didn’t see any interracial couples – period. I was obsessed with trying to spot them and even a little paranoid wondering if we were the ‘only one.’ This is of course very silly. Anyhow, we got a few crazy glares and mean looks - not tons though. At first my response to such reactions was grabbing hubbies tush or doing something else obnoxious around the nasal area, which always made them look away. I’ve been getting much better at ignoring it all. Hubby really could care less. Which is great because (and now for a little rant) who gives anyone the right to try and communicate to me through a look, who I should or shouldn’t be with? Do I know you? Do I owe you anything? Get over yourself already! People can be pathetic. Someone said racism is alive here in NC. I say it’s alive everywhere, especially if you go looking for it.

Anyhow, back to our original feel of the place; usually you will at least see black men with white women and being that this is the South, for some reason I expected to see a lot of these couples. They were few and far between. Then eventually here and there I started seeing them but here’s the kicker. Now? I still rarely see black men with white women, however - I see black women and white men ALL THE TIME. I’m not kidding you. Everywhere I turn I see them. And yes – I am looking for them. They’ll always be either pushing a stroller, holding hands, or the woman is visibly pregnant. Clearly these are couples and not just friends/acquaintances, neighbors or co-workers. I see them in malls, Wal-Mart, Target, Bob Evans (all the time), Hollywood Video…I am just amazed at the numbers. I would not steer you in the wrong direction on this one.

The strangest thing now is, I really don’t notice the stares anymore. Maybe I’m not looking for them as much now though. We go out to eat and I’ll see interracial friends out all the time as well as couples, even a few black men with white women now. Obviously the longer we live here, the more we see people. And believe me, we were like you. Before deciding to move here, we came for 4 days; checked out Charlotte, Greensboro and other places. So I know EXACTLY how you feel and what you’re going through.

Good luck – and please feel free to contact us for further help/info anytime!

NCBF
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Old 10-22-2006, 11:33 PM
A&N A&N started this thread
 
Location: Rancho Santa Margarita, CA
19 posts, read 49,200 times
Reputation: 13
Well, thanks NCBF. It's good to hear from someone else walking in our shoes as another poster said. Well, when we came out to scout the NC area we were looking for "it" and we found it (just a little bit). But I know exactly what you mean. Way back when my wife and I were first dating I think we both felt a bit conspicuous about our situation, and when you feel that way, you probably are. I hope that makes sense. But after 12 years of marriage we hardly give it a thought, and it is NEVER an issue here in SoCal. And I don't think it will be all that different in NC once we get there and get settled back into our routine. Thanks for sharing your positive thoughts!

A&N

PS - I'm sending you a PM if you don't mind!

Last edited by A&N; 10-22-2006 at 11:44 PM..
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Old 11-03-2006, 07:53 PM
 
923 posts, read 3,506,486 times
Reputation: 207
Quote:
Originally Posted by ncboundfolk View Post
I am black, my husband is white and we are 34 years old – no kids. I’ve replied to a similar post to yours in the past, but I am happy to give you some insight. We have been in North Carolina for 4 months now. We live in North Raleigh.

Now when we first moved here in June – I didn’t see any interracial couples – period. I was obsessed with trying to spot them and even a little paranoid wondering if we were the ‘only one.’ This is of course very silly. Anyhow, we got a few crazy glares and mean looks - not tons though. At first my response to such reactions was grabbing hubbies tush or doing something else obnoxious around the nasal area, which always made them look away. I’ve been getting much better at ignoring it all. Hubby really could care less. Which is great because (and now for a little rant) who gives anyone the right to try and communicate to me through a look, who I should or shouldn’t be with? Do I know you? Do I owe you anything? Get over yourself already! People can be pathetic. Someone said racism is alive here in NC. I say it’s alive everywhere, especially if you go looking for it.

Anyhow, back to our original feel of the place; usually you will at least see black men with white women and being that this is the South, for some reason I expected to see a lot of these couples. They were few and far between. Then eventually here and there I started seeing them but here’s the kicker. Now? I still rarely see black men with white women, however - I see black women and white men ALL THE TIME. I’m not kidding you. Everywhere I turn I see them. And yes – I am looking for them. They’ll always be either pushing a stroller, holding hands, or the woman is visibly pregnant. Clearly these are couples and not just friends/acquaintances, neighbors or co-workers. I see them in malls, Wal-Mart, Target, Bob Evans (all the time), Hollywood Video…I am just amazed at the numbers. I would not steer you in the wrong direction on this one.

The strangest thing now is, I really don’t notice the stares anymore. Maybe I’m not looking for them as much now though. We go out to eat and I’ll see interracial friends out all the time as well as couples, even a few black men with white women now. Obviously the longer we live here, the more we see people. And believe me, we were like you. Before deciding to move here, we came for 4 days; checked out Charlotte, Greensboro and other places. So I know EXACTLY how you feel and what you’re going through.

Good luck – and please feel free to contact us for further help/info anytime!

NCBF
Good for you! You sound like me..."Live and Let Live"
People stare for all sorts of offbeat reasons. When people stare at me I always tell myself; Because I'm handsome, interesting, an "Agent", someone important, etc. lol
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Old 04-11-2007, 11:38 AM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
10 posts, read 61,331 times
Reputation: 15
I'm single African American Mother of 1 biological daughter, and if all goes well, I will be happy parent of two hispanic sons. I currently work for VerizonBusiness and have been considering relocating to our Cary location for sometime.

I live in Northern Virginia (Ashburn) which I have been told is comparable to Chapel Hill. We have a very diverse community with excellent schools, shops, malls, etc. It is very important to me to be able to raise the boys in a similiar community. My plan to relocate within the next year because the townhouse will not be quite large enough for four people. My daughter is attending Clark in Atlanta. However, she will be home on holidays and summer.

Can anyone recommend any diverse communities that will be accepting and where my commute into Cary will not be longer than 30-40 minutes?
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Old 04-11-2007, 12:19 PM
 
548 posts, read 2,641,707 times
Reputation: 383
I live in Chapel Hill and there are many mixed race couples here. I cannot speak for them, as I am white and so is my husband, but I have heard from a couple of them that they specifically chose Chapel Hill b/c it is not unusual nor uncomfortable to be a mixed race couple here.

Also, we have both bio children and an adopted son. Our son is black. We have not had any problems with anyone. In fact, it's really not that unusual for this scenario either, and in general, people just don't care one way or the other. Here in Chapel Hill, people will come up and say "oh your son is so cute" or whatever. They assume he is our son. We lived in Tucson until last year. That was a different story--people would come up and ask "so why did you decide to foster?" or "whose child is that?" or any number of very personal questions about "what happened to his REAL mother" and other things....so I know there is a difference from personal experience between locations. Chapel Hill is very liberal, very tolerant of all sorts of "non-traditional" families, and very accepting.

Nellie
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Old 04-19-2007, 02:22 PM
 
9 posts, read 23,104 times
Reputation: 11
I'm a white male, father to 3 sons, 2 are black, 1 white. It's funny to read all the posts regarding race, the looks you get and the personal questions strangers ask. I'm interested into moving into the Garner/Clayton area but since I'm not from the area I can only 'feel' the climate by these posts. It sounds like folks are folks with curiosity and stereotypes set like almost everywhere. It's the kkk factor and the heavy extremes that I will not bring my family into. I read no such 'feel' from these posts that blatant racism is pervasive, thank God. Please feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.
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Old 04-19-2007, 03:19 PM
 
10 posts, read 26,083 times
Reputation: 10
Great posts! Funny how in this day and age, in such a racially diverse nation, we still have exchanges like these! Reminds me of a great Star Trek episode about people from a planet with bodies that were equally half white and half black right down their middle. Two factions on this planet were at war with each other and Captain Kirk finds out that they were mortal enemies because one side was black on the right half of their body and white on the left while the other group was just the opposite. We all have our differences. My family is Jewish. I have limited concerns about reactions and glances but wonder if my 13 year old son and 16 year old daughter would feel accepted by their classmates if we move to the Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill area. Any thoughts on this would be appreciated. E

Last edited by lkinforhapNJ; 04-19-2007 at 04:13 PM..
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Old 04-19-2007, 03:30 PM
 
Location: Cary, NC
8,269 posts, read 25,040,001 times
Reputation: 5591
In my opinion, in most of the metropolitan areas, you'll have no problems at all. I'm a native, and a white American, my husband is from India. We've never had any issues at all. I've never seen or even overheard comments by other people about mixed race couples. I think you'll find the area very tolerant and welcoming.
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Old 04-20-2007, 05:33 PM
 
9 posts, read 20,681 times
Reputation: 11
Default In the same boat

I've been living in the UK for the last 20 years and will be returning to the area. Like yourselves, we've got an mixed marriage and this was one of the concerns of my wife, which is the reason for the extended stay in England. On our visit home in April 06, the kids asked "why don't we live here' and needless to say, my wife agreed.

The North Carolina that I joined the USAF and left in 1978 is not the same one that you and I plan to live in now. There will allways be ignorant people accompanied by the stupid ones. As my boss once told me "There is nothing wrong with being ignorant. Ignorance is cureable; Stupidity however, is terminal! Hopefully, we can show those that are ignorant that love knows not what color it is .
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