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I feel exactly the way you described about Heritage in Wake Forest and pretty much Wake Forest as a whole. Great downtown area, lots of events, small town feel, but still shopping. Many people who live here grew up here. In our neighborhood (Heritage) people just move to another house in the subdivision when they want to upsize or downsize instead of leaving. And if you go to the high school football games, there are a ton of people there. I really love it in Wake Forest. I have lived here for 13 years and my husband grew up here. While it has changed a lot in recent years, it still is very community oriented and tight-knit.
Your best bet for the kind of community - not necessarily neighborhood- is to get really involved in a church. That seems to be where lifelong friendships grow rather than just neighborhoods. Unfortunately most neighborhoods are deadly silent during the day time with little opportunity to socialize. the nature of our area means a lot of temporary residents and frequent turnover in real estate.
As someone else alluded, that kind of thing was the norm in "days gone by" almost everywhere, but now with Internet communities, smartphones, parents afraid to let their kids play outside, etc., you don't find as much neighborliness as 30 years ago ANYWHERE.
When you do, it will be a feature of the given neighborhood, not really the town. Some HOAs really work to bring the folks together while some just enforce rules authoritatively. You can find a neighborhood like what you're looking for almost anywhere in the area, though I'd stay away from the huge "mansion" neighborhoods where people are more likely to keep to themselves. I have friend in the Scottish Hills area (older houses) of Cary that are VERY involved in the neighborhood, kids everywhere, etc, but you can stumble across that in any zip code in the area.
Do bear in mind that it's much harder to make "lifelong friends" after the age of 30 than with people you grew up with, or went to college with, especially moving somewhere you don't know anybody. They say you never experience the depth of friendships after college than you do at that age. However, I have found that volunteer groups for a cause you support brings you close to people who are outgoing, service-oriented, and support the same cause you do. Generally you find the best friends, like lovers/spouses, when you aren't "looking for them"
I just moved to the area and am of little to no help with a specific location.
I will echo that I think joining a local church would help.
I also think getting out, knowing your neighbors, and working to developing those relationships is key. Websites like nextdoor.com, taking your kids in the front yard to play, taking walks around the neighborhood and starting conversations, inviting neighbors over, etc. are all ways to start the process. I think this day in age it takes a lot more effort than it used to. Obviously some places make this easier than others.
Another thing is to send your kids to their neighborhood school get involved with the PTA and volunteering. We did this for preschool too (found a preschool close to the elementary school we'd be assigned to). That way we met families early on and ended up in school with many of them later. Our neighborhood pool was also a big part of it.
What is needed is more people willing to bring about this close-knit feel in neighborhoods that are lacking a central core. It only takes two families in a neighborhood to start something like a pot luck or similar. Two families inviting a third, then 3 inviting a 4th, etc. So many folks are writing that they want to experience this type of community, but it doesn't just happen without a little work and risk of failure.
I second the recommendation to look at Hillsborough, but take exception to michgc's comment about definitely not Chapel Hill/Carrboro. If I recall correctly michgc lives in Southern Village which is a mixed use village concept neighborhood built all at once in the 90s on the outskirts of town. It does not represent most neighborhoods in Chapel Hill or Carrboro. CH/C is a great small community, IMO, although it is more transient than Hillsborough because of the University (not necessarily students, but professors coming and going, too). I do know the owners of many stores and restaurants and businesses in both towns. My pharmacist owns the drug store downtown and asks about my elderly mom almost every time I go in there. My kids love to go with me to pick up a prescription and then walk around downtown and get a Krispy Kreme doughnut. I feel very rooted in Chapel Hill and Carrboro and see folks I know whenever I'm out and about.
I'm not big into high school sports, but I think the high school teams are well supported. We go for more of the arts programs which are also very big at the high schools. There are only 3 high schools in the school system. Carrboro has a great 4th of July people's parade and both towns have a joint Holiday parade that is very sweet (literally, as there is a lot of candy thrown out — my kids' favorite part).
I don't go to church and don't think that is at all necessary to make friends. I am actually a self-identified introvert, but haven't found it hard to make friends. There are many older homes in Chapel Hill and Carrboro that would meet your criteria for smaller house on larger lot, but I don't know about newer homes. Chapel Hill and Carrboro definitely revolve around the University. It's the largest employer and the reason for the towns to exist.
All that said, when I read your description I immediately thought of Hillsborough. I have several friends in Hillsborough and used to work there years ago. It's a small artsy town, but less of a liberal college town than Chapel Hill and Carrboro are, although there are plenty of people in Hillsborough associated with the University or RTP. You'll find more of a mix of liberal and conservative views in Hillsborough with more conservative views as you get further out in rural areas. Hillsborough does have some nice community parades (although again, not sure about homecoming parades in particular). My friends who live in Cornwallis Hills in Hillsborough really like their neighborhood and although it's an 80s-90s built neighborhood it sounds a lot like what you describe. Their grassy lot is not as big as the wooded lot my 70s built house sits on (.5+ acre — and there a LOTS of wooded lots in Chapel Hill/Carrboro), but it's big enough for the kids to play in and for a garden. Hillsborough is a sweet town and well worth checking out. I love the historic homes in downtown Hillsborough and if I were to live there I'd want to live in one of those.
I'd suggest a newer neighborhood as it seems that people are more willing to step outside their "group" and make new friends.
I always found that you meet more people with kids: school, sports, church, etc.
Neighborhoods with pools, tot lots, soccer fields, etc. are set up for neigborhood functions.
Apex and Wake Forest give ME that feel but so does a neighborhood like Bedford.
I find my small neighborhood to be that way NOW. It was that way YEARS AGO when we all had small kids. It wasn't that way for about 5 years as the kids got older and people moved. There is a new group of folks with small kids so it is becoming that way again.
If all else fails, there is always meet up groups, depending on what you like to do. Some focus on family outings, mommy groups.
Vicki
I think Vicki is spot on. We just moved to west Apex from north Raleigh and in the 5 months we've been here we've met some good neighborhood friends. All the kids play outside on a daily basis and everyone stops and talks to their neighbors (for an extended period of time). Heck we even go into each others houses to talk and chill while the kids play. We've had neighbors over for parties and cookouts and vice versa. We've gone with a couple different neighbors to take the kids to area attractions. On the end of the neighborhood where I live there are about 20 kids from a few months to 9 years old. My son will be 5 in a few months and already has a few good friends and one "best" friend that is a couple months younger than him.
This is exactly what we were looking for when we moved and I know most of my neighbors feel the same way. I've expressed to them that we're not moving until we retire (if we can help it) and we're in our early/mid 30's. They also expressed that they want to be here for the long haul and are done with moving (this is the 2nd-4th house for most of them). Being a new neighborhood with new neighbors really changes the dynamic completely. Most of us are in our early 30's to early 40's and have young children, so that certainly helps as well.
Like I said, Vicki is spot on, although it's bad news for her, since if we were moving again we'd most definitely use her services again.
Last edited by Waterboy526; 09-10-2013 at 08:12 AM..
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