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On the news, from his own lips I just heard this..
I went to see him(Dean Smith) and he didn't know who I was. I told my wife I didn't want to see him again so I could remember him the way he was.
A 40 year old friend and he isn't there for Dean Smith when he needed him the most..
Glad to know that Dean Smith had many unselfish & loyal friends that were there for him...
Shame on you Woody Durham..
You better hope you don't have a head injury, stroke or dementia one day
and your loved ones bail out on you so they can remember you the way you were before..
When my grandmother fell and suffered a severe head trauma, I saw her after her surgery while she was comatose a couple of times. It took her months to wake up. Once awake, she didn't really know what year it was and she didn't always know who people were. When she recognized them, she thought it was about 40 years earlier than it really was.
I couldn't see her like that. The last time I had seen her was just a few days before her fall. She was herself. My grandmother never had any dementia. She still cooked large meals and was totally mobile.
She died about 2 months after she awoke from the coma.
I do not regret not seeing her that way. I doubt she would have recognized me. She thought I was a toddler, according to my mother.
I don't understand your ire. If Dean Smith was that far out of it, I doubt he noticed whether Woody was visiting him or not.
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I don't blame him. I've had several loved ones with dementia and it's hard. If Dean didn't know him then it just makes it harder on Woody and doesn't do anything for Dean. I'm sure Dean had the best of care and had his family around him.
Only a "fair weather" friend would make that decision...
Just because a dementia patient doesn't recall a name does not mean that they don't enjoy the company..
It may not be easy to see them but it's the right thing .
Only a "fair weather" friend would make that decision...
Just because a dementia patient doesn't recall a name does not mean that they don't enjoy the company..
It may not be easy to see them but it's the right thing .
I'm guessing it's not something you've witnessed in the late stages. It gets SO MUCH WORSE than not recalling a name. It's not about being forgetful. I still remember my grandfather with his mouth hanging open and a cloudy glazed over look in his eyes, being fed by a tube because he no longer remembered how to swallow. He showed no awareness of anyone even being in the room. I can't help but think that he wouldn't have wanted me to see him like that. And it's certainly not the final memories I want of him, but it can't be undone.
I'm guessing it's not something you've witnessed in the late stages. It gets SO MUCH WORSE than not recalling a name. It's not about being forgetful. I still remember my grandfather with his mouth hanging open and a cloudy glazed over look in his eyes, being fed by a tube because he no longer remembered how to swallow. He showed no awareness of anyone even being in the room. I can't help but think that he wouldn't have wanted me to see him like that. And it's certainly not the final memories I want of him, but it can't be undone.
You are guessing wrong...
I have worked with many dementia & stroke patients and watched the ones who never got a visitor and
wondered where all their loved ones were ...I watched the difference that visitors made even in the later stages..
Woody Durham said he wasn't visiting again because he didn't know who he was..
Kelly, you are certainly entitled to your opinion, but the rest of us, many of whom also have experience with dementia patients, are also entitled to ours and Woody Durham is certainly entitled to his. You don't know the ins and outs of the situation. You don't know what condition Dean Smith was in. You don't know what his family wanted for him. Maybe they did want Woody and all his old players to come around all the time, but maybe they told Woody that Dean wouldn't want that. I certainly have no idea, but I do know as a caregiver of elderly relatives who have suffered with dementia I do not begrudge their friends who did not want to come visit in the later stages. I do think it's great if they can come when the person still knows them, but if it's gotten to the point where a visit is making the patient anxious or belligerent then it's not helpful. It's not like Dean was in a nursing home with no one around. He was at home with his family.
Kelly, you are certainly entitled to your opinion, but the rest of us, many of whom also have experience with dementia patients, are also entitled to ours and Woody Durham is certainly entitled to his.
Of course everyone can have opinions..
That won't change mine that I think it is selfish..
I have worked with many dementia & stroke patients and watched the ones who never got a visitor and
wondered where all their loved ones were ...I watched the difference that visitors made even in the later stages..
Woody Durham said he wasn't visiting again because he didn't know who he was..
In the true late stages of dementia, you often can't see them wondering where their loved ones are. They often don't acknowledge anyone. Not even the nurses. They show no signs of knowing anyone is in their presence. They don't respond to voices or touch. Or they may know that someone is there, but the confusion of not knowing who it is can cause them to become very agitated. It can be quite the opposite of comforting.
My father is currently showing signs of early dementia. Knowing what he saw his father go through, he has already told his children that as long as his needs are attended to (he will be in skilled nursing, so he will be cared for) he doesn't want us to see him in the end stages.
It's a very personal decision, and gut wrenching. It's terrible to pass judgement on someone for something so intensely personal.
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