Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Summation: Each child is different and whether or not to redshirt him/her should be based on how well you know your child and believe that they can function well academically and socially.
I'm also a big believer on sending a kid on time, unless there is a specific reason not to (and not just the date he was born).
This is my feeling as well. I have a 5th grade daughter with a mid-July b-day, and a 2nd grade son with an early June b-day, and both started Kindy on time. A full 1/3 of my DDs class has summer birthdays (and weren't red-shirted). There are definitely kids in their grades that were red-shirted, but it's far from the norm. If the child seems socially and academically ready, preschool teachers agree that the child is ready, I feel like it's a disservice to hold them back.
My daughter is very advanced in language arts/reading and my son is very advanced in math. I can't imagine either of them enjoying school if they were in 4th/1st grade this year instead of 5th/2nd, as they would be BORED, so BORED with classmates a full few years academically behind them.
After spending lots of time in elementary classrooms the last 6 years, I can say that SO MUCH goes into the dynamics in a classroom. Children who are the most advanced academically could be among the youngest while those who are older could struggle due to actual learning disabilities or just their natural academic strengths. Kids among the oldest could be the ones bouncing off the walls due to ADHD, sensory differences, or just a personality that prevents them from sitting still or focusing for a long time. Some young kids are tall, and others like my son, will always be short as it's in his genetics. Holding him back due to his small stature wouldn't have made much difference or sense - my husband didn't hit 5 ft until high school.
And while school definitely has ramped up over the years and Kindergarten expectations have really changed, these are still 5 year old kids. No one expects them to focus for hours on end, or sit quietly for 7 hrs straight. If they can take direction and seem in line with their preschool peers, I say go for it!
I'm surprised at those who say it is not common in this area. It's very common in my social circle. My middle child, now in 2nd grade, is one of the few kids I know with a summer birthday who started "on time". I have a 4-year old now, and many of his peers' parents have already said that they are waiting another year (starting in 2017) when they are technically able to start in 2016.
I'm glad we started my middle child when we did. She is small for her age, and the youngest in her class, but it has not adversely affected her. She does well both socially and academically. I imagine she does work harder than she would, if she were only in first grade, but I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. She puts forth a good effort, and gets a good return, which is not a bad life lesson, IMO.
All that being said, if my 4-year old had a summer birthday, I might consider holding him back, as his emotional maturity is so much less. It's nothing to do with his being a boy - I'm making that judgement call based on individual personalities. However, he's a winter birthday, so he'll get an extra 7 months anyway, thank goodness.
My sister held her daughter back and regrets it. Her daughter is bright and has always been acutely aware that she is older and was held back. Kids talk about their ages all the time at school. If your child is not the right age for their grade it will be brought up every. single. year.
Both of my kids have late birthdays (September and June) and went to Kindergarten on time. We have not regretted it for either child. Both are academically, socially and physically competent at their current grade level. I would rather have my kids challenged than bored.
I do get frustrated with the trend of holding kids back for no good reason. It's really not fair to all the kids in class who went on time.
How old is her daughter? Because if she started kindergarten in the last 5-6 years, I'm very surprised to hear that it's an issue. Red-shirting is not unusual these days, and it is not viewed in through the same social lens as it would have been when I was a kid.
I think you have to look way ahead and think about these kids being in high school and the age they will be when they start college, if you have an doubt about their maturity socially or intellectually I would hold them back.
I haven't read all the responses but consider sending your child to kindergarten on time and
deciding at the end of the school year if 2 years in kindergarten is better than going on to 1st...
I've been debating this as well for my summer birthday son who is eligible to start this coming year. He, too, is bright, but is very young in some important ways-- trouble sitting still for long periods, some difficulty with fine motor skills, etc. I was happy to hear that many of the preschools in the area offer a transitional kindergarten for kids just like these. (Ones who just miss the cutoff, or simply need the extra time to be have a developmental experience rather than the now first grade version of kindergarten.) We've given it a lot of thought, and have read a lot of research. One of the main reasons people often say "no one regrets giving their child another year of childhood" is usually because of not just being more successful in the early grades, but having more confidence and maturity in the high school years, when immature decisions can have greater consequences. It's easy for people to judge and assume parents just want their kids to have an unfair advantage. But, ultimately, our concern needs to be for our children, not others' viewpoints. (Of course, many younger 4/5 year olds are socially mature and developmentally ready to go) As the parent, you know your child better than anyone else. I just wanted to share the transitional K idea to others who'd prefer to wait- I think it's a lot simpler a way to handle it than repeating K or first once already in elementary school.
I will share a few first hand memories of being behind K-3 before my parents wisely
help me back a year...
K-3
I remember being behind & doing poorly on everything my friends were doing with ease..
I remember feeling insecure and not as smart as my classmates..
Pretty much hated school..
Second 3rd year through Grad school
Realized I was bright & a good student and breezed through school from 3rd on..
Actually enjoyed being the first of my friends to drive in high school..
This is great advice. Your son sounds exactly like mine, very well prepared academically (he is reading completely on his own) but he does still have some babyish qualities (getting distracted and excited, but when visiting his preschool I noticed he did not do that nearly as much in school than he does at home). Great idea to talk to his kindergarten teacher. I feel good about our decision to send him, thank you!
I think if he's reading on his own it would be a HUGE mistake to keep him back a year. My youngest who is gifted in reading/language arts was not reading on her own in K (learned to read in K) and by the time she got to 2nd grade she was bored, bored, bored with the books they were reading. If he's already reading before K, I would not hold him back even if he was the smallest and wiggliest one in the class. K is likely to be a lot of repetition for him academically because there will be kids in there who can't read at all. There were kids in my youngest's 2nd grade class who were still getting up to speed on reading (as well as plenty of others like her who were reading big books like the first Harry Potter, etc). K is great for learning a lot of social stuff so he may be right on track there. If you held him back I think academically he might be underchallenged and find school boring and un-fun.
Summation: Each child is different and whether or not to redshirt him/her should be based on how well you know your child and believe that they can function well academically and socially.
I agree with this 100%. If you think your child is ready, you should send them on time. If there are legitimate concerns about them being socially or academically not ready, then consider waiting a year. I personally disagree with the idea of holding back for sports reasons only, but I can honestly say that I do not know anyone that has done this. Most people I know that have waited a year (including myself) do it because we know our child well enough to know that they just aren't ready.
My oldest son was born on Oct. 14th back when the cutoff was Oct. 15th. He made the cutoff by 1 day. He was also extremely immature, very small for his age (<10%) and had distraction issues (later diagnosed with ADHD). Academically he was probably fine, but he had been in full time preschool/daycare prior to that and we were told, repeatedly, that he was not ready for kindergarten. We enrolled him in a Transition Kindergarten program and he did great at it. We have absolutely no regrets. He's now finishing his 7th grade year.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tracy5305
Kids talk about their ages all the time at school. If your child is not the right age for their grade it will be brought up every. single. year.
My son is probably one of the oldest in his classes, but it just isn't a big deal. He fits in completely with that age group, although perhaps he is hitting a few puberty milestones first (i.e. he was one of the first to get acne in his group of friends). But seriously, kids are not talking about his age. He doesn't complain about being older. It's just not a big deal. And I can not even imagine him starting high school in a few months, which he would have if he had started on time. Now, I realize that the cut off was changed not longer after that such that if he was born a few years later, he would have started school a year later anyway. But still, I just don't think other kids care that much about age.
My younger 2 kids have Dec/Jan birth dates so they are in the middle of their classes. Neither of them have had a ton of kids red shirted in their classes. I think my first grader has one classmate that was red shirted , but that was for health reasons and he does not stand out and the kids do not care or talk about it at all. She had 3 classmates in Kindergarten last year that were young (summer birth dates) that repeated Kindergarten this year. That hasn't been a big deal for them either. She misses them, but doesn't think negatively about them at all. My 5th grader, who is bigger and taller than my 7th grader looks like he is older than the rest of his class. But he is not, he just looks older. I am pretty sure that none of his classmates were red shirted.
I just don't see it being a huge issue, at least at my kids school.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
