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Old 06-18-2015, 03:44 PM
 
Location: Charlottesville, VA
9 posts, read 20,534 times
Reputation: 15

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I’m a liberal well-educated single black woman in my early 40s who has never been married, has no children, and does not want any. I work in the tech industry and have lived all over the country:
Williamstown/Boston/Milton, MA; NYC; Stamford/New Haven/Westport/New Canaan, CT; Los Angeles/San Francisco, CA

Currently, I’m in Charlottesville, VA which I have outgrown after 10 years: there is no dating scene for my age bracket (everyone is already paired up and busy with kids). I’m tired of living on a farm (l literally live on one with donkeys, cows, and the occasional horse) and want less isolation, more people, more diversity, and more cultural stimulation such as the ability to go to the ballet. **As well as more racial acceptance and harmony.** (The upswing of current news regarding militarized police violence, racial attacks, etc. really gets me down.)

My job has kindly given me the option of working remotely from anywhere in the US so I’m now sizing up locations without too much worry about employment as a factor in final location. I have landed on Raleigh because it is highly voted as a growth city for my work sector and it is merely 4 hours away from where I am which would make it an easier move on me and my cat. But, as shown by my residence history, I am flexible.

**Is Raleigh considered to be a blue city in a sea of red (i.e., Democrat/liberal surrounded by Republican/conservative)?

**Is North Carolina as a whole generally liberal or conservative? (Voting records tend to show it as skewing liberal these days but I want to check with you all.)

**Would there be much of a dating scene for me in Raleigh as a woman in my early 40s?

**Is interracial dating accepted?

**How common is it? In the early 2000s, I was living in SF and I visited Savannah, GA with a white boyfriend and we had an overt incident of disapproval of our interracial status.

**What parts/neighborhoods in Raleigh would you recommend for me?

**Particularly since I don't have kids?

I really appreciate the usefulness of the forums and all you kind people! (And the fact that you’ve read this far — I wanted to be thorough so as to solicit the wisest opinions!)

Thank you.
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Old 06-18-2015, 04:05 PM
 
Location: Chapelboro
12,370 posts, read 13,998,666 times
Reputation: 10463
Just to get it out of the way I think Charlottesville and Chapel Hill are most alike.

Raleigh is bigger, but doesn't really have a metro feel.

Now to your questions (bearing in mind I live in Chapel Hill and am white and married with kids, but I've lived in the area for 30 years).

Quote:
**Is Raleigh considered to be a blue city in a sea of red (i.e., Democrat/liberal surrounded by Republican/conservative)?

Raleigh is pretty middle of the road. There are plenty of conservatives and plenty of liberals so the voting records usually show something like a 48/52 split along party lines.


**Is North Carolina as a whole generally liberal or conservative? (Voting records tend to show it as skewing liberal these days but I want to check with you all.)

Like most of the rest of the country, bigger cities and college towns are more liberal, rural areas are more conservative. Can't speak for the state as a whole.


**Would there be much of a dating scene for me in Raleigh as a woman in my early 40s?

I think maybe, but I've been out of that for a long time. I do seem to know single people in their 40s in Chapel Hill.


**Is interracial dating accepted?

Yes, I think so, but again I'm a married white person. I do know several interracial couples and as a liberal white person have never heard anyone say anything negative about it, but maybe they say that stuff to their conservative friends. I really think that would be a-ok here.


**How common is it? In the early 2000s, I was living in SF and I visited Savannah, GA with a white boyfriend and we had an overt incident of disapproval of our interracial status.

I think it's really pretty common.


**What parts/neighborhoods in Raleigh would you recommend for me?

I am not a Raleigh person, so I'll let others field this. I would also recommend looking at Durham. It has a great creative vibe with a little bit of grit. Right now ADF (the American Dance Festival) is in full swing.


**Particularly since I don't have kids?

I'll let others speak more specifically to this, but maybe downtown?
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Old 06-18-2015, 04:11 PM
 
Location: Atlanta
392 posts, read 614,431 times
Reputation: 721
Think about Atlanta vs NC.
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Old 06-19-2015, 11:40 AM
 
Location: Sodo Sopa at The Villas above Kenny' s House.
2,492 posts, read 2,716,106 times
Reputation: 3888
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mirabella View Post
Think about Atlanta vs NC.
Ditto. .... neither Raleigh or Durham have a thriving singles scene. In college it's fine because it's easy but at 40+ your options would be much better in a larger metro area.
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Old 06-19-2015, 12:17 PM
 
Location: Raleigh NC
1,346 posts, read 2,896,872 times
Reputation: 2321
Absolutely Atlanta. Second choice Charlotte.
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Old 06-28-2015, 03:16 PM
 
Location: Charlottesville, VA
9 posts, read 20,534 times
Reputation: 15
Thanks for the input. :-)
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Old 06-28-2015, 06:20 PM
 
2,900 posts, read 5,366,255 times
Reputation: 2763
Definitely not Charlotte. This article sums Charlotte social scene up to a tee. Atlanta would be the first choice.
A look at why the African-American cultural scene struggles to thrive in Charlotte | Cover | Creative Loafing Charlotte
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Old 06-28-2015, 06:53 PM
 
5,008 posts, read 8,007,296 times
Reputation: 4940
I'd say check out Atlanta, Washington DC, or Chicago.
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Old 06-29-2015, 08:59 PM
 
1,370 posts, read 1,766,523 times
Reputation: 1913
I'm single, childfree, professional, age 39. Personally I LOVE it here in Raleigh/Durham. I find it to be diverse with plenty to do. You'll meet plenty of like-minded folks here. Interracial dating is accepted. NC is pretty conservative, but the metro areas are mostly blue. Also, don't just limit yourself to Raleigh, check out Durham and other surrounding cities as well.

As for the dating scene - I'm starting to suspect the dating scene sucks nationwide, not just here. my friends in Atlanta and DC all have the same complaints as us in RDU. In fact, one friend in DC who DOES want kids is about to do artificial insemination to become a mom, because she never met a suitable mate - in the city or via online dating.

Anyway...maybe your luck with dating will be better. Other than THAT - I think you should spend some time here in the Triangle. I think you'd like it.
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Old 06-30-2015, 07:53 AM
 
Location: NC
9,922 posts, read 6,764,105 times
Reputation: 10294
Me: I'm 47, white and was single up until about 18 months ago (now living with GF). As for interracial dating, I'll answer below, but I have no problem with it, but found that the few black women I dated, it was not easy. I didn't have a problem with the interracial aspect, and I suspect they didn't either, but (for whatever reason) none of the potential relationships went anywhere. (FWIW)


**Is Raleigh considered to be a blue city in a sea of red (i.e., Democrat/liberal surrounded by Republican/conservative)? You can check the stats here on CD, I think, but I believe Raleigh to be a blue city in a rising red sea.

**Is North Carolina as a whole generally liberal or conservative? (Voting records tend to show it as skewing liberal these days but I want to check with you all.) Historically very liberal, but recently more and more conservative. Take note of the general make up of our GA.

**Would there be much of a dating scene for me in Raleigh as a woman in my early 40s? I say yes. I loved dating in my mid-40's. I have posted this many times, but I ABSOLUTELY believe it depends on the attitude you bring to the table. People that have very specific expectations of what their perfect match should be like generally are disappointed. People that can enjoy things for what they are tend to enjoy (go figure) more. People who date without a specific agenda (eg: Married by such and such a date) can be honest about it and enjoy today for today. In short, dating scene here was a lot of fun for me, and I'm still friends with most of the people that I met (well, most that I met and had a second date with, anyway)

**Is interracial dating accepted? Yes

**How common is it? In the early 2000s, I was living in SF and I visited Savannah, GA with a white boyfriend and we had an overt incident of disapproval of our interracial status. I see it all the time, and it should not be a problem. That said, we live in a screwed up world, and if I've learned anything, it's that you can't rule anything out. That is not location specific, so I don't EXPECT that you'd have an 'incident', but I guess it could happen.

**What parts/neighborhoods in Raleigh would you recommend for me? Covered in so many posts, I encourage you to do the research, but "ITB" is a good start (inside the belt).

**Particularly since I don't have kids? Particularly, ITB. :-)
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