Slightly disappointed in the Triangle (Charlotte, Raleigh: home, pros and cons, living)
Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill, CaryThe Triangle Area
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Raleigh is somewhat a typical small capital city. Most of the city centers around a very small area around the capital. It reminds me a lot of Albany, NY.
If you're attracted to bigger cities, I'm not sure what drew you here in the first place. I'm from outside NYC, and IMHO there is no large city like it. But Raleigh is pretty far from even cities that are somewhat comparable to NYC.
I don't ever get why people make these posts as if they're expecting people to justify why they DO like it here though. Just move on, no one will mind.
I love Albany. I was actually thinking of Raleigh as a bigger Albany. At least from looking at the Downtown area, I see some similarities.
I'm moving to Raleigh fully understanding what it is and isn't. But I'm going to make the most of it, and if it exceeds my expectations then great. This is the place I have chosen to attempt to settle down, though. Worse case scenario, I transfer to Charlotte down the line. But from what I've seen of Raleigh so far, I think I'm going to really like it.
I totally get where the OP is coming from, though. And at least he didn't trash it just because like some people would, but actually presented his own objective opinion. Raleigh gets so much hype that some people might move there expecting something completely different.
I fall in a similar position as the OP...I'm well-traveled globally and have normally lived in bigger cities, but this is the place I ultimately chose. Huge cities aren't for me like they once were. I suppose it's all about your mindset.
Everything has pretty much been covered in previous posts. I've been to Atlanta, Chicago, NYC, and other large cities. Besides NYC, I'm not sure where you can find anything "tangible" within a 50-75 mile range outside of even the largest cities. Certainly not much but rural areas outside of atlanta, chicago, etc.
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I know of nothing else beyond Fayetteville St, Glenwood, Cameron Village and Hillsborough st. Durham has its downtown and 9th street, Chapel Hill comes down to Rosemary and Franklin st. And that's it!
DT Raleigh is getting more populated, there are thousands of apartments being built as we type down there. That will surely lead to more people walking around, going to clubs, and mixing all together.
Thing is with clubs down here (and many other places) is that it's still segregated at heart. Many "all-white" clubs don't allow "other" people in due to a certain dress code or appearance. "All-black" clubs would let "other" people in, but many of those "other" people don't want to be associated with those types of clubs, so they don't go. But I've certainly seen plenty of mixture in clubs that I've been to in Raleigh and Durham. I'm sure there are plenty of "All-black" or "All-white" clubs in NYC, Chicago, Atlanta, etc. That's just how life is.
I would suggest trying Charlotte if you want something bigger. The larger population of people may be more of what you're looking for. Or, since you've been here less than a year, you still may need to do some exploring here in the triangle. Or YOU become the change that you are seeking. Start or find a Meetup group for a diverse night out and find people that want that diversity.
I get what you're saying. We've lived here nearly a year after moving from London and I feel completely bored and even trapped! We've been to every museum and park and trampoline place etc and Raleigh downtown is just the strangest city I've ever been in, now we struggle for things to do especially when it's so hot.
I'm hoping we will find more to do, more friends - we have almost none! And moving isn't really a choice for us. Basically I think that everyone comes here from a different place and some of those places are nicer than others so perspective differs.
I hope you find some fun things to do/people to meet. Oh we have kids so not into the fun single scene.
If downtown Raleigh is the strangest city you've ever been to, you need to travel more. It's actually about as cliched as small cities come.
And I'm going to assume you're not an outdoorsy kind of family. There are an abundance of parks, trails and lakes to explore and enjoy; it's probably the greatest single feature offered by the region.
But your point about friends is probably the most telling factor in your underwhelming experience, an absence of a true social life can make even Manhattan seem unappealing. That's also possibly the greatest obstacle to overcome in a relocation as well and one which took us several years to solve.
If downtown Raleigh is the strangest city you've ever been to, you need to travel more. It's actually about as cliched as small cities come.
And I'm going to assume you're not an outdoorsy kind of family. There are an abundance of parks, trails and lakes to explore and enjoy; it's probably the greatest single feature offered by the region.
But your point about friends is probably the most telling factor in your underwhelming experience, an absence of a true social life can make even Manhattan seem unappealing. That's also possibly the greatest obstacle to overcome in a relocation as well and one which took us several years to solve.
To be fair to the poster you're replying to, it can be hard to enjoy outdoor activities and a social life in NC if you're coming from London. The weather is very hot and humid during the summer, and the air is full of pollen in the spring. The winter is cool enough to make it unpleasant many days--only the fall is good for the most part. Also, the suburban lifestyles, sprawl, car dependence, and Internet addiction isolates people in NC and makes social life difficult unless you join clubs, groups, organizations, etc. (which are not for everybody). In a big city it's easier to meet people, even the so-called "impersonal" big cities.
You can't force people to mix together if they don't want to be together. No one's 'segregating' anyone.. people tend to segregate themselves to a large degree. A large portion of humanity prefers to be with their own kind, and there's nothing wrong with that- it's just a natural human trait. People have different cultures/customs/histories/habits/mannerisms/preferences/etc and that's what makes each culture unique, and they often tend to gravitate towards their own people who they feel comfortable with. It's called HUMAN NATURE. If all cultures blended together all the time then there would be no more separate cultures and what was unique about the different ones would be gone.
Again- you can't force (or, expect) people to blend together who don't feel comfortable blending together (the govt. has already tried doing that.) So just let people be.
That being said, there's a million other places in the world (or, places within the Triangle- if you really look-) where you can find what you're looking for.
To be fair to the poster you're replying to, it can be hard to enjoy outdoor activities and a social life in NC if you're coming from London. The weather is very hot and humid during the summer, and the air is full of pollen in the spring. The winter is cool enough to make it unpleasant many days--only the fall is good for the most part. Also, the suburban lifestyles, sprawl, car dependence, and Internet addiction isolates people in NC and makes social life difficult unless you join clubs, groups, organizations, etc. (which are not for everybody). In a big city it's easier to meet people, even the so-called "impersonal" big cities.
The weather is an excuse, not an actual impediment. Spending time splashing around at one of the many lakes is a great way to be outside but not be miserable. And like everyone else who has lived here for more than a year, you plan activities early or late and it works out just fine.
But the main reason I'm responding to your post is because of your comment about "Internet addiction". Do you really see that as a local issue?
What about St Louis is better, with regards to nightlife? The others are a given but based on my experience of St Louis, I think the Triangle stacks up really well actually against it. I've been to most mid-sized cities in the same range as this and I live here partly because, for its size at least, I think it does a good job. Any truly major city is going to have more of course, and there are some mid-sized cities that also do better--Austin and New Orleans mainly.
This is why I moved away to a big city, but for people that are okay with a slower pace, the Triangle is great. I wanted to make it work there, but my soul longs for a big, thriving 24/7, bright lights, progressive walkable city. I still have the Triangle close to my heart though.
As I've said for 15 years since the first customer I had moving here from NYC .... you won't find it ALL here. You'll find a BIT of almost everything. But we aren't and won't be a huge city in any of our lifetimes.
Been in the Triangle a little bit less than year. I had high hopes considering how the area is billed as a major research hub, with significant brain power, young professionals and a booming city potential. But I find that the Triangle is ultimately still Southern, and that trumps every other billing.
With the exception of the odd rainfall here and there, the weather is quite nice. As far as fun in the city(Raleigh)...The Triangle is cool if you haven't been exposed to the city scapes of enormous proportions. I'm talking Atlanta, Tokyo, St. Louis, NY etc. I find Raleigh to be quite limiting. I know of nothing else beyond Fayetteville St, Glenwood, Cameron Village and Hillsborough st. Durham has its downtown and 9th street, Chapel Hill comes down to Rosemary and Franklin st. And that's it! And the surrounding towns are nothing to speak of. You can go 50-75 miles out in any direction from the Triangle and find nothing tangible. You'd have to push as far out as Charlotte for something noteworthy. Wilson, Goldsboro, Greensboro and Fayetteville are all small towns if we kept it real.
Then i push into Wilmington thinking a beach town would be a fun escape. And it's a nice city it was! a very nice 'segregated' city. From ridiculously expensive housing down to the beach-goers. For such a beautiful weekend day, I thought it was sad sight.
Back to the Triangle - I love a mixed scene, seeing all colors mingling. So miss me with those bars showcasing one specific ethnicity; your all-white bars or all-black clubs...Unfortunately, that's what Raleigh offers. Mirage, Clockwork, Capital city, Phantom etc. No balance, and that feels unnatural to me. Like i'm expected to participate in something rigged. But perhaps i'm still missing something here?
I'm somewhat well-traveled, globally. So i guess my expectations might be a bit too high? I'm not sure. Maybe i'm just not settling in as fast as i'd expect. I considering myself a fun, very sociable if not the life of the party kinda guy...but to be honest, i've slowed down in recent years, and perhaps i'm missing that extra drive to lock this **** down. Thing is, it all just feels small and slow to me at this moment in time, and i'm not used to that.
Thoughts?
I think everything you say is either true, or has elements of truth in it.
I guess the point is, as others have stated, it's not for everyone. If everybody had the same tastes and desires, the world would be a boring place. You are not wrong, there is no right or wrong. But with that being said, you owe it to yourself to be in a place that somehow makes you happy. If this is not it, and if it's never going to be it, then find what works for you. (Not quite as simple as "if you don't like it, leave".)
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