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Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill, Cary The Triangle Area
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Old 01-15-2016, 11:29 AM
 
149 posts, read 148,890 times
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Someone wrote this about the Triangle on another thread, and I'm sad to say that I am finding it to be true.

I just turned 41, unmarried, no interest in having kids. I'm originally from the South but I've spent my entire adult life in Boston. Boy I don't miss those frigid Northeastern winters, or the cost of living, or the unfriendly culture.

In Raleigh-Durham I can afford to live alone (something you can't do without a large income in Boston), I have amenities like a dishwasher, washer dryer, garbage disposal - unspeakable luxuries in those old Boston buildings. Traffic is a breeze in comparison. People are friendly and smiling (also unspeakable luxuries in Boston )

But my Raleigh-Durham life feels like I'm living in a hotel room - quiet, clean, sterile, a blank space. I have good friends here, which is the main reason I chose this city as my destination. And while there was a flurry of welcome activities when I arrived, lots of invites, now people have settled back into their routines, which always orbit around spouse/kids or significant other. Everyone is paired off and doing their own thing.

This appears to be the norm here for people over 30.

I've been surprised to find how much I am missing the hum of life in Boston, how intensely vibrant and alive that city is, in spite of its flaws. I've been missing the city in general, being able to walk anywhere, all the amazing food and interesting people. Raleigh feels so, well, quiet in comparison.

Do you agree with my original quote? - "It's not the place to be if you are single and childless.."

If not, why not? I'd like your honest opinions.

(Please no comments along the lines of "Any city is what you make it!" I realize that people with very outgoing, go-getter personalities are good at creating a social network wherever they go, but for the rest of us, the culture of the city itself is an extremely important factor.

Another factor is your age. If you move here at 23 and everyone in your age bracket is single and wanting to hang out all the time, as opposed to moving here at 40 and everyone is married and only wants to get together every couple of weeks or so, it's a whole different ballgame).

Last edited by Mcginty74; 01-15-2016 at 12:12 PM..
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Old 01-15-2016, 11:39 AM
 
Location: Clayton, NC
514 posts, read 600,700 times
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Honestly, most of the hype around the area is about jobs, growth and raising a family. I don't know that the Triangle is regarded as a particularly vibrant social area. To be fair, that would be tough for a commuter city.

Having said that, I have been married since my early 20s, years before moving here, so I have never experienced the nightlife, or lack thereof, here.
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Old 01-15-2016, 12:02 PM
 
Location: Raleigh, NC
6,809 posts, read 9,017,123 times
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Maybe you should get out of Raleigh and see what the rest of the triangle has to offer? I see this area as one big city made up of many pieces. If I always stayed in Raleigh it would get pretty boring. And what about things like Meetup groups to socialize and meet new people? There are walkable neighborhoods in Raleigh but probably none that are perfect. You half to drive around here to get anywhere.
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Old 01-15-2016, 12:11 PM
 
149 posts, read 148,890 times
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Zitsky,

Thank you for your reply. By Raleigh, I am really referring to Raleigh-Durham, or the Triangle. My bad.
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Old 01-15-2016, 12:14 PM
 
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Do college students from the area tend to stay here after college, or go out of state? Anyone have any stats on that?
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Old 01-15-2016, 12:15 PM
 
149 posts, read 148,890 times
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m378, I read in another thread that they tend to NOT stay in the area (someone was comparing the trend to Austin, where graduates DO tend to remain). I don't know if this is true, but the person was sharing the info as though it was.
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Old 01-15-2016, 12:17 PM
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I moved here 5 months ago, I'm 25 (about to turn 26), and I've been meeting people left and right. And I moved here not knowing a soul. This is definitely a family-friendly city, but nowhere near to the extent people hype it up to be. You can be single here and meet loads of people. Perhaps it's different for someone in their 40's though.
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Old 01-15-2016, 12:18 PM
 
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I'm in my late 30s, single, and I don't know if I agree with the statement, though I know exactly the scenario you describe! For me, it's more of a personality thing - there are lots of meetup options or activities, but I'm very introverted, so I struggle with those opportunities. I do think Boston and Raleigh have very different atmospheres, but I'm not sure I'd say one or the other is better for a single person. But that's my take on it, I never lived in Boston!
Regardless, good luck - I think it's more being middle-aged without responsibilities and routines that come with families!
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Old 01-15-2016, 12:25 PM
 
2,924 posts, read 3,328,355 times
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I don't think anyone else experiences or feelings are going to change yours and I do not mean that in a snarky way. I am not a single person here. I was a single person in NYC and enjoyed it but hated it as a married person with kids. I am not sure if I would like this area if I were single. The Triangle is not for everyone just as big cities are not for everyone. One question I have for you is, have you visited Boston since you have moved? Is your perception of it correct based on your visit or a bit romanticized? What I mean by that is, sometimes I get nostalgic for NY, but then I visit and I realize that I have no desire to live there and can't wait to leave, I just want to be an occasional tourist.


Bottom line is, if this area is not meeting your needs, then start exploring places that you think will. Life is too short to be unhappy.
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Old 01-15-2016, 12:26 PM
 
Location: Baltimore MD/Durham NC
530 posts, read 634,615 times
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Quote:
I'm 25 (about to turn 26), and I've been meeting people left and right. And I moved here not knowing a soul. This is definitely a family-friendly city, but nowhere near to the extent people hype it up to be. You can be single here and meet loads of people. Perhaps it's different for someone in their 40's though.
I'm 28 now and yes I've met lots of people since moving here. But I can understand it might be a different scenario being older.

Most of my friends are graduate/professional students (this area has a ton of them) who are about the same age range.
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