Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill, CaryThe Triangle Area
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But the thing I think about is location. There seems like a great deal to do here. But outside of the triangle area there is kinda not so much? See, coming from NJ I can go to Philly, NYC, Atlantic City, any beach, and mountain hikes all within about an hour or 2 drive. I can also easily drive to Boston, Baltimore, DC, Cambridge, etc. in a day.
I really get where you're coming from because that is the huge benefit of NJ to me (I grew up in NY and NJ) and a drawback of this area. There are great road trips but it's more of a hike to go to a large city and maybe not something you'd do as frequently. Still - DC is doable in five hours and maybe pleasant on the train (haven't done that yet). I believe you can get to Atlanta in six - too far for my taste but it's there. I can get to Charlotte from Durham in 2.5 hours and have done that as a day trip. It's an easy drive to the mountains as well, and you already know about the beaches.
I haven't been to the Fan District in Richmond yet, but I think that's just a few hours away and I heard it's great. You can also get to Florida in one day instead of staying over. Edit: Google tells me it's two hours 21 minutes to the Fan District.
It's definitely something to give a lot of thought to if it's important to you - I came here for a job, but it is important to me and I may leave because of it ! I get it! It is otherwise a fantastic area, though.
We're thinking seriously about Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill too, and leaving behind Chicago - another huge metro area with world class amenities - so we understand your dilemma.
If world class amenities (culture, arts, dining, shopping, transportation) are a top priority, you're simply not going to match being close to NYC, Jersey, Philly, etc. with 26M people anywhere else in the USA. There's a reason it's so crowded and expensive there!
But if you want a lower COL and easier winters, while still having some cultural options, Raleigh-Durham and Charlotte are options. Since you've said east and south only, your best options in order of population are probably Wash DC-Baltimore-Arlington (9M), Miami (6M), Atlanta (5.8M), Tampa-St Pete-Clearwater (3M), Charlotte (2.5M), Orlando (2.4M) and finally Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill (2.2M). Clearly some are closer to water and/or mountains than others.
Charlottesville VA is very nice, but it's much, much smaller at about 230K for the broad metro area. Not much near there.
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