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Agreed. My niece is graduating tomorrow and I'm astonished by the heavy-handedness of the school's insistence of a particular flavor of decorum. No, I don't think it should be letting folks act like it's a Friday night rave in an empty warehouse, but hey, it should be considered a celebration, not a funeral. Some folks are just wound too tight.
The time alotted for each graduation is tight. If one family is making a production out of their graduate, the next family will not even hear their graduate's name being called. It's a formal and serious ceremony. People should behave as such.
I stand by what I said earlier, the mother is saying this kid has all sorts of issues....but no accommodations? That's on her. She didn't get remind messages? That's on her too. The way she rolls is "do what I want and expect to cause a stink to get my way later" and now she's finding the school doesn't play. Oh well. Like someone said, life lessons. In Wake County Public Schools this stuff starts going out months before graduation and I know our high school has a page just for senior info, the PTA sends out stuff just for seniors, you choose to ignore every avenue they have for getting you info when you know your kid is unreliable you are gonna get burned.
twingles, I get it. These kids should have accommodations, but if the kid DOESN'T WANT accommodations, doesn't want to be labeled, singled out, or have attention drawn to himself, I don't believe we parents should force the issue.
My son struggles with depression and ADHD (focus, not hyperactivity), but he refuses to let us pursue accommodations for him, even something as simple as extended time for testing. The last 6-8 weeks of this year have been pure hell (on him AND us), and still he refuses. Sure, I could jump in and force it on him, but he's nearly grown and needs to experience and feel those consequences himself. There's no boss in the world who is likely to grant someone special treatment! Still, we don't leave him hanging out there on his own. Instead, we've focused on helping him to build coping skills to manage these issues. He graduates from Cary HS next year, and I'm already stressing about all the extra things I need to keep up with!
I don't know the Rivera kid's story, but I say all this only to provide perspective. None of us will know the truth of this situation, only what the family and media share, but I think the principal is way out of line on this, as was the Enloe principal who refused (has since relented under public pressure) to let Rachel Rosoff be acknowledged at Enloe's ceremony this year.
These ceremonies and gestures are mostly for the PARENTS, and it hurts my heart to know that these kids' parents are being treated this way. We work so dang hard to raise these little buggers -- let us have our moment!
This might be crass (and probably off-topic) but does it annoy anyone else with how extravagant graduations are becoming? I mean, should we really be celebrating the completion of elementary, middle, and high school like its a huge deal? You're expected to graduate...its like throwing me a big party because I paid my taxes....
I don't know the particulars of this situation, so I can't speak to that.
Putting on a high school graduation at the convention center is a major undertaking. A rehearsal with all graduates is absolutely necessary in order to pull it off. Schools communicate in dozens of ways all year long that the practice is mandatory.
Most kids want to go. Many don't. They don't want to drive downtown or pay to park or whatever. Without this very sturdy stick, graduation rehearsal (and therefore graduation) would be a fiasco. A high school population might be 10-20% students with special needs. If schools make exceptions, what a mess that would create. Can a student be excused for an IEP? How about a 504 plan? A concussion care plan? And what about students with special needs who aren't identified at school? I can see what a problem in terms of fairness and equity making exceptions after the fact would cause.
Again, I am not speaking to this particular case. So often we hear that schools don't have discipline and that the current generation is the participation trophy generation. At the same time the community often asks that schools separate actions from consequences. In a school of a few thousand, it's very hard to operate on a case-by-case basis and be fair. If taking your case to the media results in one student being treated differently, we undercut equity.
twingles, I get it. These kids should have accommodations, but if the kid DOESN'T WANT accommodations, doesn't want to be labeled, singled out, or have attention drawn to himself, I don't believe we parents should force the issue.
My son struggles with depression and ADHD (focus, not hyperactivity), but he refuses to let us pursue accommodations for him, even something as simple as extended time for testing. The last 6-8 weeks of this year have been pure hell (on him AND us), and still he refuses. Sure, I could jump in and force it on him, but he's nearly grown and needs to experience and feel those consequences himself. There's no boss in the world who is likely to grant someone special treatment! Still, we don't leave him hanging out there on his own. Instead, we've focused on helping him to build coping skills to manage these issues. He graduates from Cary HS next year, and I'm already stressing about all the extra things I need to keep up with!
I don't know the Rivera kid's story, but I say all this only to provide perspective. None of us will know the truth of this situation, only what the family and media share, but I think the principal is way out of line on this, as was the Enloe principal who refused (has since relented under public pressure) to let Rachel Rosoff be acknowledged at Enloe's ceremony this year.
These ceremonies and gestures are mostly for the PARENTS, and it hurts my heart to know that these kids' parents are being treated this way. We work so dang hard to raise these little buggers -- let us have our moment!
I feel all the things you are saying since my son is in the same boat and this time of year is hell here as well, but I am his parent and sometimes I get to make decisions he doesn't like (and many of them were made when he was in elementary school). Again, we all have choices to make - the decision not to "label" a child is just like the decision TO label a child - you take the good with the bad. I have two other kids and my child in discussion here is a twin whose twin is at a different HS. So I TOTALLY GET how hard it is to keep up with everything, but it's MY JOB to do so. In fact, we would never dream of not overseeing all there is to oversee because we have too much to lose if we drop a ball.
I do not feel sorry for this mother - sorry, I know that sounds cold hearted, but she has had AMPLE opportunity to get the information that she needs. If she knows when graduation is there is no reason not to know when rehearsal is and all the rules surrounding the ceremony. I know I could be in this position in two years, have been in similar positions in the past because of the way my DS is and we take our lumps and live with it or he will never learn (and yes, he has learned and is still learning). Ultimately the fault lies with the mother in this case and she flat out does not want to take responsibility for it, ask any teacher and parents like hers are a dime a dozen. If it happens to me in two years, you will not see a petition online about it or any other story because I will know it is MY fault. The parents aren't being treated harshly, they just have always had people bend the rules for them and they've finally run up against an entity that has done this every year for many years and isn't going to bend. It happens to everyone who goes thru life like this, unfortunately for them they let it happen at a time when it really matters to them.
The situation at Enloe was completely different, their reasons made no sense, there was no policy in place for the circumstances and I am glad they came to their senses on that one.You're comparing apples and oranges.
This might be crass (and probably off-topic) but does it annoy anyone else with how extravagant graduations are becoming? I mean, should we really be celebrating the completion of elementary, middle, and high school like its a huge deal? You're expected to graduate...its like throwing me a big party because I paid my taxes....
No, in the sense that HS graduation will be the highest academic achievement many of theses kids and family will experience. I was the first person in my family and extended family to go beyond high school (and that wasn't an automatic). It is a big deal for more folks than not. If we were to subscribe to your point of view then let's not commemorate weddings or having a baby since it happens literally every 5 minutes of every day somewhere in the world.
I will agree that it seems sometimes folks showboat for the sake of showboating.
So let's spread blame all around, overly authoritarian administration, lazy parenting and a student who refuses to take responsibility for himself. None of us know how relevant or true any of that is.
Making a huge public stink seems a symptom of life in 2017 and not the proper way to handle it. Now, the school administration is in a serious bind; give in and they set a precedent, hold the line and they are being unduly harsh. The parents should have gone to the school, met with the principal and worked out an arrangement. Relying exclusively on emails and phone calls seems indirect and almost lazy. When we've had issues with our sons and their schooling, my wife and I got ourselves in front of the appropriate administrators to figure everything out.
The parents should have gone to the school, met with the principal and worked out an arrangement. Relying exclusively on emails and phone calls seems indirect and almost lazy. When we've had issues with our sons and their schooling, my wife and I got ourselves in front of the appropriate administrators to figure everything out.
She did. She says she met with the principal and he "didn't budge". In another post, she claims the superintendent stated this is a school-level decision, not WCPSS policy, though I haven't taken the time to comb through WCPSS rules/regs to confirm this.
I feel all the things you are saying since my son is in the same boat and this time of year is hell here as well, but I am his parent and sometimes I get to make decisions he doesn't like (and many of them were made when he was in elementary school). Again, we all have choices to make - the decision not to "label" a child is just like the decision TO label a child - you take the good with the bad. I have two other kids and my child in discussion here is a twin whose twin is at a different HS. So I TOTALLY GET how hard it is to keep up with everything, but it's MY JOB to do so. In fact, we would never dream of not overseeing all there is to oversee because we have too much to lose if we drop a ball.
I do not feel sorry for this mother - sorry, I know that sounds cold hearted, but she has had AMPLE opportunity to get the information that she needs. If she knows when graduation is there is no reason not to know when rehearsal is and all the rules surrounding the ceremony. I know I could be in this position in two years, have been in similar positions in the past because of the way my DS is and we take our lumps and live with it or he will never learn (and yes, he has learned and is still learning). Ultimately the fault lies with the mother in this case and she flat out does not want to take responsibility for it, ask any teacher and parents like hers are a dime a dozen. If it happens to me in two years, you will not see a petition online about it or any other story because I will know it is MY fault. The parents aren't being treated harshly, they just have always had people bend the rules for them and they've finally run up against an entity that has done this every year for many years and isn't going to bend. It happens to everyone who goes thru life like this, unfortunately for them they let it happen at a time when it really matters to them.
The situation at Enloe was completely different, their reasons made no sense, there was no policy in place for the circumstances and I am glad they came to their senses on that one.You're comparing apples and oranges.
Since I don't know your story and you don't know mine, I will agree to disagree on your first sentence.
Your other points are valid, and I think it's fair to say that this no doubt will serve as a learning experience for the boy/parents. I'm not one of the special snowflakes who believe everyone deserves a trophy and life should be fair to all. I guess this just strikes a chord with me, because I know the battles those of us with these kinds of kids face, and it's just ONE MORE THING on an endless list of things.
And you're right, when an honors kid was late to her own graduation rehearsal, and she was put at the end of the line, honors cords and all, there was no online petition (in 1986, there was no such thing). It was horribly embarrassing, but she survived.
She did. She says she met with the principal and he "didn't budge". In another post, she claims the superintendent stated this is a school-level decision, not WCPSS policy, though I haven't taken the time to comb through WCPSS rules/regs to confirm this.
The meeting came after. By that time she had already called and emailed several times. He responded to the emails, but she wasn't happy with his response, so she started the petition. She met with after that.. I think the next day. I think the school could allow it, but like others have said, he isn't the only one that forgot to go. If he lets him go, then what about all the others that didn't go to the rehearsal this year and will want to be allowed to go to graduation. And what about the ones from last year and the years before that didn't get to go.. ?
If you look at the MCHS web site they have a link on the front page to senior info. It's really hard to miss. In it they say the following:
GRADUATION REHEARSAL: Friday, June 2, 2017 from 3:30—5:30 pm. at the Raleigh Convention Center (500 S Salisbury St, Raleigh, NC 27601). All seniors who plan to participate in the graduation ceremony MUST
attend this rehearsal. There are NO EXCEPTIONS to this rule. Any plea for an exception has to be taken to Mr.
Martin, Principal. However, be aware that no exceptions have ever been granted in the past.
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