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(BTW, It's ma'am, short for madam, not mamn like d@mn.)
However you want to spell it, our pronunciation sounded like d@mn. If we didn't say it, we got knocked into the next zip code. It was always yes sir no sir, or yes ma'am no ma'am. First name only when addressing an adult was perfectly fine...but not for teachers
Such customs are regional. In the a north, unless you are in big trouble, Sir or Ma'am are reserved for strangers. At first I thought it was creepy here when kids called their fathers sir, like they were a drill Sargent. Then learned it was just normal. Anywhere it is polite to thank someone for holding a door open. But here you must reply "you are welcome".
That happened to me at Marbles a few weeks ago at Kick-off to Kindergarten...I must have held the door for 50 people because no one would take it from me as they all obliviously walked through without an acknowledgement. My family had kept walking and wondered what had happened to me...lol.
You do know there is a way to get yourself out of that with no one getting hurt right ???
I don't understand why nobody calls adults "Mr./Mrs./Ms LastName" anymore. In our daycare, everything is "Ms. FirstName". I'm excited for the kids to go to kindergarten where they actually refer to the teachers by the last name.
To me, that's too formal and impersonal and antiquated at this time. We use Mr and Mrs <firstname> and I still find it to be polite. We're more into my kids being polite and responding with a "yes" instead of a lazy "yeah".
How do you, hey_guy, respond when your wife/girlfriend/partner wants you to do something? Do you say "yes ma'am"? Or do you say, "okay, I'll be glad to" or "sure thing, honey" or whatever? In your home if your partner calls to you from another room in the house, "Hey_guy!", what do you say back to her? That's what I would expect of my kids. I do NOT say "Yes, sir" to my husband and I don't expect that he or anyone should say "yes ma'am" to me. It's way too formal for my life philosophy.
I have just tried to emphasize courtesy and above all kindness with my kids. I don't have to be their drill sergeant and they don't have to salute me. I want them to speak to me with kindness in their tone of voice and don't yell, "NOOOO! EWWWWW! I HATE BROCCOLI!", but instead rephrase it as, "No thanks. I don't care for broccoli." But I don't need a ma'am or sir in there.
I am totally fine with people encouraging their kids to say "ma'am" and "sir" if they want. No judgment here on whatever folks want to do as long as it is loving and kind, but don't judge those of us who don't go in for that either.
when she says "hey_guy" i say "hey_girl!"
I would use a more initimate address to my wife "yes darling"
i see where you're going but my wife and I are peers
I don't expect two children to "yes sir" one another but I"m in my 30s and sir my own father sometimes
i know if you aren't in the habit of saying it a lot it seems weird but if you say it a lot it normalizes.
I asked my 13 year old about this and she said she doesn't know any kids who say "yes ma'am" or "yes sir", even a couple of really country kids she goes to school with in Alamance County, and not her friends in Chapelboro either. I think it's kinda quaint, but not very prevalent any more in the Triangle, which was the original question, right?
I'm not a very do-it-because-I-said-so parent. I take the time to explain why I'm asking them to do something and I always did even when they were little. YMMV.
I think that when an adult requests it, then the child should be allowed to call the adult by the first name. I was fine with Miss Jennifer when the kids were younger but REALLY hate Ms. Lastname which is what they now do. It is too formal. These are kids I have a close relationship with and hope to have one even when they grow up. I totally agree that as a rule that kids should call adults by their last name unless told otherwise.
Then I would go with Ms. Firstname, until they older.
You do know there is a way to get yourself out of that with no one getting hurt right ???
Like what? I also got stuck in similar situations before when I was left holding door for large groups that just kept walking without even acknowledging my existence. At some point I got tired and literally just said "watch out for the door" and let it go. Fortunately, a gentleman rushed in to grab it. Wandering what other option I had...
As a side note, I'm really grateful for everyone being so kind and polite in this area. And I find "yes, ma'am" adorable, although I don't expect it from my kid. Just be polite in general and kind, always check if someone needs help.
Last thing I want to do is take out a soon-to-be kindergartener.
Haha fair enough, I didn't realize it was all little ones.
You could have had it be a life lesson. Welcome to the real world kids, life can be a real pain in the ass sometimes, really sneaks up on ya... like this giant door.
When my daughter was in 6th grade they gave out awards to kids who were exceptionally well behaved. One of them was described by the teacher as being so unbelievably polite, everything is "yes ma'am, no ma'am, I want my son to grow up to be like him".....DD told me later the kid is a total druggies (yes, I said this was in SIXTH GRADE).
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