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Hi All, just wondering what the experience has been for those who have moved to NC without family? We are still working, but getting older and do not want to be in NJ because of how ridiculous it is--property taxes and all among other reasons. We have never been apart from our family and chances of our kids moving to NC are slim to none. Living in PA is out of the question for various reasons. We really like the Raleigh area and hear so many good things about it. We want to be able to have a decent, affordable house and live in a nice area, but it would be with no family. So any experience in this would be appreciated. Thank you.
My in-laws retired down to Calabash from Massachusetts. They have met lots of friends, mostly transplants in their neighborhood via mah jong groups, golf, etc. They seem to have a busy social life and are happy with their big house.
We lived in NYC when they moved down there and I honestly hated going down to visit. Despite the promise of the beach, there wasn't much to do down there and it was difficult to get to. Their primary complaint is that their family does not want to visit them and they are always having to travel to see them. It's especially frustrating when they complain that we don't travel back up to Massachusetts to see the rest of their family with them. I think they feel a little isolated living down there by themselves. We have a limited amount of vacation time and only see my extended family because they live next to my parents, so I just can't bring myself to budget more vacation time to see cousins, aunts, uncles when they made the choice to move down to NC. I don't have time to travel to Calabash and middle of nowhere Massachusetts for vacation.
Raleigh has a little more going on than Brunswick County, and fortunately is easy to travel to, but lots of other things to take into consideration. Having lower taxes and a bigger house are great, but I think you need to consider how much you are willing to travel to see your family and grandkids.
Last edited by farebluenc; 09-18-2017 at 09:12 AM..
It's a difficult choice for sure.
Two years ago my husband moved us to Cape Coral Florida, I went kicking and screaming. There were family events I missed, grand kids birthdays, the ceremony when my son was promoted to detective, Thanksgiving, Christmas.
My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer shortly after moving to Fl and I went through that with him alone, no family, no friends.
He passed in March and I've been in NJ all summer, realizing very painfully because of the price of real estate, taxes , or even rentals it is dam near impossible to come back. It's unfortunate that so many people who were born and raised in NJ leave when retirement looms because unless you are wealthy it is very expensive to try and exist on your pension, 401k, ssa. It is NOT a retirement friendly state.
I'm returning to Fl this Thursday mostly to list my place with a realtor, lock the door,leave again and hope it sells quickly.
I am not going back to NJ, but have rented an apartment in Sneads Ferry NC. It's a coastal town, about a 10-11 hour drive to NJ when I want to visit. Yes, I'm sure kids will come down in summer for beach but it's easier for me to visit them due to their jobs, the kids school.
I am giving my self 1 year to see if it does work for me, if it does then I will buy, if it doesn't then I'll have to bite the financial bullet and come back to NJ.
I'm being optimistic it will work for me. To give you an idea I rented a 3 bedroom 2 bath apt with garage. Washer and dryer in apt, my cat is welcome, 5 minute drive to beach for $1100 a month, as you know I would never find that anywhere in NJ.
The only downside is air travel as you can not get a non stop out of Wilmington to Newark and air fare is crappy.
For a non stop decent air fare I would have to drive to Myrtle Beach airport about a 2 hour drive from where I will be.
It's a trade off as I would rather be coastal than inland.
The only downside is air travel as you can not get a non stop out of Wilmington to Newark and air fare is crappy.
For a non stop decent air fare I would have to drive to Myrtle Beach airport about a 2 hour drive from where I will be.
It's a trade off as I would rather be coastal than inland.
Just as an fyi, there are direct flights to Philly and Laguardia from Wilmington. The Myrtle Beach airport is about 2 and 1/2 hours from Snead's Ferry, as is the Raleigh-Durham airport. It would be a much better choice than Myrtle Beach.
Just as an fyi, there are direct flights to Philly and Laguardia from Wilmington. The Myrtle Beach airport is about 2 and 1/2 hours from Snead's Ferry, as is the Raleigh-Durham airport. It would be a much better choice than Myrtle Beach.
Thanks, but where I would go in NJ there is no easy way to Philly, almost a 2.5 hour drive.
LGA would be closer but I would not task anyone to pick me up there because of tolls and traffic, and shuttle, rates would also be insane.
Airfare can be flexible, but from what I see only Delta and American fly out of Wilmington to Newark connecting in Charlotte (shudder shudder) but if I can snag a decent airfare may have to bite that bullet as I prefer non stops.
I'm going to have to check amtrak and see if they have service from Philly airport to Newark NJ
Last edited by njkate; 09-18-2017 at 10:06 AM..
Reason: After thought
It's a really tough thing to move away from family. Some handle it better than others. We moved from MA to Charleston, SC @ 3 years ago. It was a necessary move, as he was retiring, and as njkate said, it's just about impossible to live on retirement income in the Northeast.
My husband is having a harder time with the move than I am, as he is very attached to his family. He said that even though we did not see his family all that much when we were in MA, the fact that he COULD see them makes it hard.
We're experiencing the same problem mentioned, where everyone wants US to come North to visit. They don't want to make the effort. We thought Charleston would be a draw - not so. I think it's a NE thing (?!). Even though we're not working (and neither are some of his family - they are retired), it's harder for us to make the trip up as we're paying for 2 flights, and a dog sitter, and we're on a very limited budget. It's caused a lot of friction for us because they are constantly after us to visit, but we are the ones expected to make the sacrifice.
I'd suggest what someone else mentioned - make sure you budget enough money to go back and forth. Otherwise be prepared to be content with Skype.
It's a really tough thing to move away from family. Some handle it better than others. We moved from MA to Charleston, SC @ 3 years ago. It was a necessary move, as he was retiring, and as njkate said, it's just about impossible to live on retirement income in the Northeast.
My husband is having a harder time with the move than I am, as he is very attached to his family. He said that even though we did not see his family all that much when we were in MA, the fact that he COULD see them makes it hard.
We're experiencing the same problem mentioned, where everyone wants US to come North to visit. They don't want to make the effort. Even though we're not working (and neither are some of his family - they are retired), it's harder for us to make the trip up as we're paying for 2 flights, and a dog sitter, and we're on a very limited budget. It's caused a lot of friction for us.
I'd suggest what someone else mentioned - make sure you budget enough money to go back and forth. Otherwise be prepared to be content with Skype.
Thanks, but where I would go in NJ there is no easy way to Philly, almost a 2.5 hour drive.
LGA would be closer but I would not task anyone to pick me up there because of tolls and traffic, and shuttle, rates would also be insane.
Airfare can be flexible, but from what I see only Delta and American fly out of Wilmington to Newark connecting in Charlotte (shudder shudder) but if I can snag a decent airfare may have to bite that bullet as I prefer non stops.
Delta flights would connect through Atlanta. The Charlotte airport is actually pretty nice to connect through, certainly better than ATL. Driving to Raleigh is probably you best overall bet...both Delta and United have direct flights to Newark.
We're experiencing the same problem mentioned, where everyone wants US to come North to visit. They don't want to make the effort. We thought Charleston would be a draw - not so. I think it's a NE thing (?!). .
I have heard this same complaint from people. Honestly I think people can't fit it into the budget! They're paying through the nose for everything up there and can't add trips to see relatives even when they live in vacation destinations.
I think it's hard to gauge how this will go for anyone, the only possible bright spot is that I've heard time and again "so and so will NEVER move here" and it happens all the time. So, it may be possible that the OP's family will come to live here someday.
OP's other option is to wait until actual retirement and live in a retirement friendly state that's closer to NJ (like Delaware).
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