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Old 10-23-2017, 08:59 AM
 
98 posts, read 106,898 times
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Hi all,

My wife and I moved into a new construction neighborhood recently and for the most part, it's nice and quiet. Neighbors are friendly and say hello, but otherwise keep to themselves and haven't had any issues. The one thing we're struggling with is some of the kids who live on our street. They've been using our backyard as a cut through to theirs and when asked not to, as we're trying to grow grass, they've ignored us, and one 6 yr old even flipped my wife off. We're dealing with that with the installation of a fence. However, they've recently started coming up to the house, knocking on the window, ringing the doorbell and getting our dog riled up. We've caught them multiple times at our door and they claim they weren't doing anything and ignored our requests to stop. Now, I was a kid, and did a lot of stuff looking back at that I probably shouldn't have, but I feel like when asked by an adult to stop I usually backed off. These kids almost seem to be encouraged by it.

I've tried speaking with their parents but whenever I try to start a conversation it's pretty clear they don't want any part of it. So I'm kind of stuck on what I can do if I can't speak to the parents, and I really don't want to involve police/nothing criminal is really happening.

My biggest thing is that I just don't know what's happening when I'm gone, and get worried about them getting my dog going, when he's usually already upset when we leave. Also the fact that, they're coming up on their hoverboard and running across or rock flowerbed, the last thing I need is one of these kids hurting themselves on my property, I'm not sure what my liability would be.

I guess I'm just trying to see if anyone has any suggestions on how to get this to stop other than just waiting it out for them to find something else that captures their attention.
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Old 10-23-2017, 09:18 AM
 
Location: Raleigh NC
25,119 posts, read 16,146,620 times
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I think you talk to the parents. Again. And as many times as necessary until you make the point clear - "kids will be kids, but they shouldn't be coming to my house to prank me".
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Old 10-23-2017, 09:25 AM
 
102 posts, read 148,780 times
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I agree that you need to keep trying to reach an understanding with the parents. If that works out then life can be good. If you bring in the police / etc, you'll now be living around people that you'll feel awkward with everyday.

We've had neighbors with kids that would play in our backyard all the time. I didn't mind that, but if a football or kickball hit our house, I'd tell them to move further away. Thankfully, they'd listen.

Sometimes though, there are parents around that aren't parenting.
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Old 10-23-2017, 09:32 AM
 
Location: NC
1,836 posts, read 1,590,639 times
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Put up some cameras and then you can have proof to show the parents. If you do not see a down turn in occurrences, at that point, I would involve the police.
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Old 10-23-2017, 09:37 AM
 
703 posts, read 777,507 times
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Kids will indeed be kids. And bad parents will continue to be bad parents.

Part of that means that kids know they're getting your goat. And they revel in it. And, when parents don't seem to care about their kid's conduct, that only empowers the kids' behavior more.

Sometimes, ignoring them will take away their fun, and they'll simply move on to irritate a different neighbor. But ignoring is hard if they're banging on your windows or ringing doorbells which incites your dog.

Personally, if things continued, I'd get a wildlife camera and a Ring doorbell. I think the important term here is mischief. Complaining about kids taking a shortcut through a backyard (even if you are trying to grow grass) is likely going to be viewed as a fairly petty thing to be upset about. But showing a parent a photo or video of their kid giving you the finger, or harassing you by continually ringing your doorbell will likely get the proper attention.
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Old 10-23-2017, 10:45 AM
 
422 posts, read 519,522 times
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Curious as to whether they have damaged anything? If they do, and you can capture/prove that with a Ring or similar camera, then you can bill their parents for damage. Nothing "talks" like money, right? It obviously will not endear you to your neighbors, but could have an impact on the parental involvement in their kids behavior.

Also, do you have an HOA and is this something that could be brought to a homeowner's meeting as a generic issue? Good luck.
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Old 10-23-2017, 10:47 AM
 
Location: Chapelboro
12,799 posts, read 16,272,406 times
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We had some neighbors move into a house in our older neighborhood that had an established path in the very back of their backyard (behind their fence, but still on their property as well as their neighbor's) that cut through to the park behind their house. They sent out an email to the neighborhood that they were going to "have to" shut down that path. I can tell you that I heard a few folks talking about it and it did not engender warm and fuzzy feelings. The neighbor that also had part of the path was annoyed, too. It's their property and they can do what they want, but it wasn't a great way to make friends with their neighbors. I wasn't affected by their path shut down because I can go through my own back yard, but I haven't gone out of my way to be friends with them either. It was partly the way their email to the neighborhood was worded — it was just off-putting. We put a fence in our backyard when we moved in for our dog and for all I know folks had been cutting through our yard, but I didn't get any negative feedback on it. My next door neighbor wasn't so sure about it at first when I told her about it beforehand but she ended up liking it and we have a friendly relationship. I didn't announce the the whole neighborhood email list that I was doing it, though.

I would start by trying to be friends with the neighbors. If they moved there before you they may have been using that cut through for awhile and in a kid's mind that can be like "my whole life!" Since you shut down their cut through maybe they're getting you back by playing ring and run with your dog. I'd try to be friends with the kids and hand out some good Halloween treats, too. I know it's annoying, but any reason you can give the kids or their parents to go on the defensive is not going to result in harmonious living in the neighborhood.

If you can be on friendly terms with them first and then ask them to stop bothering the dog and stop cutting through the yard it will go a lot farther.

If that doesn't work, maybe a fence in the front yard, too!
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Old 10-23-2017, 10:57 AM
 
98 posts, read 106,898 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Prumio View Post
Curious as to whether they have damaged anything? If they do, and you can capture/prove that with a Ring or similar camera, then you can bill their parents for damage. Nothing "talks" like money, right? It obviously will not endear you to your neighbors, but could have an impact on the parental involvement in their kids behavior.

Also, do you have an HOA and is this something that could be brought to a homeowner's meeting as a generic issue? Good luck.
Nothing really damaged, they took their hoverboard across the backyard which left tracks, and I have a tree in front yard with rocks around it where you can tell someone stepped and pushed a side down, so just little things that's just more annoying to fix.

We are in an HOA, it's a new neighborhood where we all moved in around the same time, might go that avenue. I've thought about a camera, but I just don't feel like dropping a few hundred dollars for something that in the grand scheme of things is just an annoyance.

I think I'm more just frustrated with the lack of parenting, the kids just seem to have no respect, they often take up the road on their bikes and don't move for people driving through. I'm not one to encourage helicopter parenting, but when your kids are out in the street from morning til dusk, would just be nice as a neighbor to see they're keeping an eye on their kids once in a while.
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Old 10-23-2017, 10:59 AM
 
98 posts, read 106,898 times
Reputation: 113
Quote:
Originally Posted by poppydog View Post
We had some neighbors move into a house in our older neighborhood that had an established path in the very back of their backyard (behind their fence, but still on their property as well as their neighbor's) that cut through to the park behind their house. They sent out an email to the neighborhood that they were going to "have to" shut down that path. I can tell you that I heard a few folks talking about it and it did not engender warm and fuzzy feelings. The neighbor that also had part of the path was annoyed, too. It's their property and they can do what they want, but it wasn't a great way to make friends with their neighbors. I wasn't affected by their path shut down because I can go through my own back yard, but I haven't gone out of my way to be friends with them either. It was partly the way their email to the neighborhood was worded — it was just off-putting. We put a fence in our backyard when we moved in for our dog and for all I know folks had been cutting through our yard, but I didn't get any negative feedback on it. My next door neighbor wasn't so sure about it at first when I told her about it beforehand but she ended up liking it and we have a friendly relationship. I didn't announce the the whole neighborhood email list that I was doing it, though.

I would start by trying to be friends with the neighbors. If they moved there before you they may have been using that cut through for awhile and in a kid's mind that can be like "my whole life!" Since you shut down their cut through maybe they're getting you back by playing ring and run with your dog. I'd try to be friends with the kids and hand out some good Halloween treats, too. I know it's annoying, but any reason you can give the kids or their parents to go on the defensive is not going to result in harmonious living in the neighborhood.

If you can be on friendly terms with them first and then ask them to stop bothering the dog and stop cutting through the yard it will go a lot farther.

If that doesn't work, maybe a fence in the front yard, too!
It's a new neighborhood where we all moved in roughly within 2 weeks of each other depending on closing date so it's not like it's an established path. Also, I've told them they're more than welcome to use the back edge of the property or even between houses to cut through, but they like to right across the middle. Luckily our fence is going in soon so that won't be an issue. Unfortunately, per the HOA fences can only come up to the back of the house.
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Old 10-23-2017, 11:05 AM
 
Location: under the beautiful Carolina blue
22,651 posts, read 36,657,128 times
Reputation: 19848
You can't change bad parenting, it's frustrating, but what eventually happens is these kids become outcasts, or get hurt and when they're older, arrested, yup seen it all with the family that used to live 2 houses down from me. Unless the rest of your new neighborhood is like them, they will quickly find themselves on the outs. If you don't want to get a Ring or similar doorbell (which would be good security anyway) then you're kind of stuck. It's like dealing with bullies in middle school, ignorance is the best policy. Or sprinklers when you see them out back.
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