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I don't have anything against anyone unless they start saying things like:
"Pizza down here sucks"
"You guys don't know how to drive in snow"
"Why don't you guys do things this way instead?"
"What's the fascination with guns?"
Also, some have this idea that they were forced to move to "a place like NC" and are just putting up with it.
Some lifers don't like Northerners because they are afraid people from NY and NJ will bring their politics and try to change the state. Also, many feel that Northerners are only moving here because they ruined their own state financially and are simply taking advantage of the lower cost of living.
That's the biggest complaint I actually do hear from people who've lived here most or all of their lives.
Those others you mentioned first are annoying, but most people seem to blow those off.
The biggie is that some people are here because they ran from a less desirable COL and they're now coming here to repeat their past mistakes and dragging everyone else down in the process.
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Yes, my social circle is just that, my circle, not a statistical representation of the county, and I was exaggerating "a bit", this is the internet after-all :-) I have lived in many places since college, but the only place my Mainah self was ever uncomfortable was my one assignment in the very rural deep south (ie, rural Alabama). I was merely conveying that there are lots of lots of people in the OPs position, so they should not be concerned that they will experience an anti-Northerner resentment on a day-to-day basis, in the metro-Raleigh area.
I do agree with you re: not really having to experience any anti-Northerner sentiment. It's too easy to surround one's self with others who aren't locals and who are new to the area around here to worry about that.
And, fyi, really rural areas even freak me out sometimes and I'm FROM HERE.
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The block where I live -- inside the city limits of Raleigh -- is less than half native southerners. At times there hasn't been a single NC native on the block.
Personally I'm tired of jokes about bad pizza and people who can't drive in snow, but they don't get under my skin.
I can imagine that a very small minority of Triangle residents (1 in 500?) resent the multi-cultural influx... not just people inbound from NY or California but also from China, India, etc. I can also imagine that as you enter the rural or recently rural areas, this percentage goes up. But I think it still remains a minority.
I've been on this forum looking for information on the area for over 2 years. I just moved to Raleigh with my husband in early August.
Online forums allow people the freedom to say what they want with much more anonymity. I've been very active on forums for about 17 years, met many forumers in person, and in my experience people are much less bold "in real life". When I read very strong opinions, I consider that they may be exaggerating how they really feel, or may be trying on a persona that is different than reality. Take note of their usernames and I'll bet you see the same things over and over. That makes it easier to disregard when reading responses.
I've only been here four months but I have experienced no bias personally. When appropriate, or when asked, I have shared with friends and strangers that I'm from NY and more often than not, I hear "So am I!" or just have a nice conversation about where they're from too.
Of course any of these people could be nice to my face and talk trash behind my back but I don't waste my feelings or time thinking about them. Miserable people look for reasons to continue being miserable. I'm not going to change that, nor do I want to. I'd rather spend my time on genuine, open people who don't judge or get hung up on particulars like what part of the country I'm originally from. I've already met some really nice people who don't have these kinds of issues.
In short, I wouldn't worry that much if you're going to settle in Raleigh.
During my research in a possible retirement in the Triangle area, I ran across a few websites (Sperlings Best Places, etc) that included multiple commenters who expressed that they experienced rather overt resentment toward them as "northerners" who relocated to the Triangle area.
I'm getting mixed messages on various forums, from "people in the south are friendly" to "residents in NC resent northerners moving here." I can certainly understand feelings of resentment from locals when there is an influx from anywhere in the country that raises rents on long-term residents. But the resentment seemed to be something pervasive after moving from the northern states to NC (Triangle area), from many commenters on several websites.
I've visited once in the past, as a tourist, and plan to make more visits before making a decision about a retirement location, but wondered if anyone could offer some insights into how best to fit in as a "retiree from up north" (midwest). And what to expect, in terms of NC residents' perspectives on newcomers from the northern part of the country. Thanks in advance.
There are so many Northerners here already, you're probably more likely to encounter a fellow Northerner than a NC native like myself. You really don't have anything to worry about.
Edit: You don't really have anything to worry about unless you come here and start telling us how we should live. Then we will resent you.
I myself have only experienced one blatant example - going to the registry to get my license the person looked at my license and saw I was from MA and asked why I had moved there. Chit chat I thought. I told her the weather and commented what a beautiful place it was. She proceeded to tell me "Well, it was before all you Northerners moved here and ruined it". I was a bit dumbfounded.
That was extremely rude of her! Gets my hackles up to hear about it. I'm sorry you had to experience that.
Speaking of hackles, just to comment on another thing in the same post:
Quote:
Originally Posted by macalan
where in the South people are sweet to your face and then sometimes talk about you behind your back. It's considered "good manners".
As a native Southerner and North Carolinian (albeit not from the Triangle), I just would like to point out to others not from the South who may be reading (because I have seen this comment on the forums in a few places over the years): the way I was raised, "sweet to your face" - yes, definitely considered good manners, but "talk about you behind your back," at least in a gossipy, negative fashion, is not good manners, no matter who you are, where you're at or where you're from. So at least some Southerners don't believe that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by macalan
Most people we've met have been very nice friendly and helpful.
As a native Southerner and North Carolinian (albeit not from the Triangle), I just would like to point out to others not from the South who may be reading (because I have seen this comment on the forums in a few places over the years): the way I was raised, "sweet to your face" - yes, definitely considered good manners, but "talk about you behind your back," at least in a gossipy, negative fashion, is not good manners, no matter who you are, where you're at or where you're from. So at least some Southerners don't believe that.
Yup. Talking bad about people is not considered polite and kind behind their backs or to their faces.
Quote:
Originally Posted by macalan
I have heard from others that the locals don't like the "way" of Northerners. They think we are too direct saying what we think where in the South people are sweet to your face and then sometimes talk about you behind your back. It's considered "good manners".
And that sentiment right up there ^ is why people sometimes don't like Northerners. Did you see how Macalan managed to paint Northerners in a good light and disparage Southerners saying we "talk about you behind your back"?? Can you believe that!? YES, if you come with THAT attitude you will likely severely annoy some people. I'm annoyed right now just reading it.
I don't even hear Southern accents anymore -- except for my husband.
The Triangle is no problem whatsoever.
I find it hard to believe you dont hear southern accents apart from your husband on a daily basis.In Raleigh i still hear some even among younger folks in their 20s and 30s. Cant speak for teenagers or children however as i honestly am not in Raleigh much enough to know, though would be surprised if there were no raleigh born kids with some sort of southern twang.
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