Moved here but finding it difficult to like this town (city ?) (Raleigh: houses, neighborhoods)

[bronskrat]

When I first moved here, the most difficult thing I had was finding out what is happening around town. But here's a good Things to Do mailing list.

Here's what you missed for last weekend (all these were posted here):
Friday, April 13:

Iris After Dark , NCMA, Raleigh

Suicide Girls: Blackheart Burlesque , Duke Energy Center for the Performing Arts, Raleigh

Josh Wolf , Goodnight's Comedy Club, Raleigh

Friday Night on White: Magic Pipers , Historic Downtown, Wake Forest

North Carolina Symphony Classical Series: Brahms Symphony No. 4 , Meymandi Concert Hall at Duke Energy Center for the Performing Arts, Raleigh

Watts & Ward 1 Year Anniversary , Watts & Ward, Raleigh

Tuxedo Cat Ball , North Ridge Country Club, Raleigh

Southern Women's Show , NC State Fairgrounds, Raleigh

Wet Hot American Summer: The Musical (sort of) , KINGS, Raleigh

X Ambassadors , The Ritz, Raleigh

Six String presents Jon Shain and Wyatt Easterling , The Cary Theater, Cary

10th Anniversary Golf Tournament & Birthday Party , Chapel Hill Country Club, NC

2nd Friday ArtWalk , Various Locations, Chapel Hill

Teen Science Cafe , Morehead Planetarium, Chapel Hill

Dreams That Can Save Your Life: Early Warning Signs of Cancer and Other Diseases-Larry Burk,MD, CEHP , Duke University, Durham

BAT , Deep South The Bar, Raleigh

Toubab Krewe , The Pour House Music Hall, Raleigh

Stitch Intercollegiate (golf) , MacGregor Downs Country Club, Cary

Saturday, April 14:

Live & Local: Spring Fest , Hillsborough Street, Raleigh

What's Out There Weekend , Various Locations, Triangle

BrickUniverse LEGO Fan Convention , Convention Center, Raleigh

Spring Sprouts Fest & Food Truck Truck Rodeo , Knightdale Station Park, Knightdale

PRIME Music Festival , Red Hat Amphitheater, Raleigh

"Wheel of Fortune" Wheelmobile/Auditions , Crabtree Valley Mall, Raleigh

Southern Women's Show , NC State Fairgrounds, Raleigh

20th Annual Lebanese Festival , Raleigh City Plaza, Raleigh

5 Factors Fund 5K Walk & Run , Dorothea Dix Park, Raleigh

Raleigh March for Science , Halifax Mall, Raleigh

Adventure Road: A Story of Huck and Tom , Kennedy Theatre at Duke Energy Center for the Performing Arts, Raleigh

Raleigh NEDA Walk , Pullen Park, Raleigh

Dogs with Dad , Bond Park Boathouse, Cary

Pakistani American Anjuman of NC's Spring Fair and Picnic , Harold D Ritter Park, Cary

Women's Empowerment & Networking , PNC Arena, Raleigh

49 Annual Unity Breakfast- Democratic Women of Wake County , Midtown, Raleigh

Open Car Show - Help for Habitat , The Streets at Southpoint, Durham

About Boating Safely Public Course , presented by United States Coast Guard Auxiliary-Flotilla 054-09-10, Raleigh

40th Anniversary Cary Road Race , Downtown Park, Cary

Dark Star Orchestra , The Ritz, Raleigh

Josh Wolf , Goodnight's Comedy Club, Raleigh

Get Sad Y'all - Raleigh's Emo Night , Deep South The Bar, Raleigh

Stitch Intercollegiate (golf) , MacGregor Downs Country Club, Cary

Teen Day Fuquay , Falcon Park, Fuquay-Varina

The Soul Psychedelique and Love Tribe , Lincoln Theatre, Raleigh

Wet Hot American Summer: The Musical (sort of) , KINGS, Raleigh

A Conversation on Race Then and Now: A Bridge Panel Conversation , Duke University Chapel, Durham

Lookin' For A Cure 5k , Durham Bulls Athletic Park, Durham

Paella Party with the Shakori Hills Grassroots Vinyl Lounge , Motorco Music Hall, Durham

Pick-up & Pizza , Triangle Curling, Durham

Quatuor Danel , Baldwin Auditorium- Duke University, Durham

Landscape Installation and Maintenance: Beginning , Sarah P. Duke Gardens, Durham

Stone or Brick Paving , Sarah P. Duke Gardens, Durham

Tactical Strength Challenge , Rapid Results Fitness, Chapel Hill

Sunday, April 15:

BrickUniverse LEGO Fan Convention, Convention Center, Raleigh

DIBS Discovery Day, Duke Institute for Brain Sciences, Durham

What's Out There Weekend, Various Locations, Triangle

Southern Women's Show, NC State Fairgrounds, Raleigh

"Wheel of Fortune" Wheelmobile/Auditions, Streets of Southpoint, Durham

Adventure Road: A Story of Huck and Tom, Kennedy Theatre at Duke Energy Center for the Performing Arts, Raleigh

Isaac Hunter's Turns 9!, Issac Hunter's Tavern, Raleigh

Adult Workshop: Gardening for Bees, Museum of Life and Science, Durham

Jeff Austin Band, The Pour House Music Hall, Raleigh

GO PELON on the Gallo Patio, Gallo Pelón Mezcaleria, Raleigh

Bull City Vegan Challenge, Various Locations, Durham

Microcinema Show - "Interviewed" , Durham Cinematheque, Durham

Durham Savoyards Ltd Present Gilbert & Sullivan's "Ruddigore" (or "The Witch's Curse"), Carolina Theatre, Durham

Goat Yoga and Guided Meditation with Goats , Hux Family Farm, Durham

Evelyn McNeill Sims Native Plant Lecture, North Carolina Botanical Garden, Chapel Hill

[DJKB]

I remember when I first moved here from NJ and drove through downtown I was so disappointed - I literally drove through the whole entire downtown in under 5 minutes (from South to North) and thought perhaps that was just a section "before" actually hitting downtown and that I'd hit downtown if I kept driving.

Anyway - now that I've lived here for 13 years, and I've experienced some of the delights of downtown Raleigh (Red Hat, Bida Manda, Brewery Bhavana, Fayetteville Street, Glenwood South...) I LOVE downtown Raleigh. Yes - it's not NYC but it's an absolutely charming small city.

[Funky Chicken]

Was cost of living a factor in this decision?

[ozmoe571]

Originally Posted by gtownguy

I am not just comparing with DC .. but let’s compare it with Minneapolis where I lived in the past. From what I was reading online, triangle area has now more population than Minneapolis ? But CITY wise , Raleigh-Durham, no where even close to Minneapolis ? Why isn’t this City being developed like other cities ? Minneapolis-St. Paul just looks huge city. A friend of mine visited Raleigh-Durham from Minneapolis , his family was thinking of moving here cuz of the cold weather in Minneapolis and he felt the same way I am feeling. Raleigh still has a long way to go as far as the downtown development ? Only population seems to be increasing.

This and your original post are the type of comments that give a bad name to newcomers to this area. Comparing Raleigh-Durham to Minneapolis is ridiculous given their large differences in population and history of growth. Also, you haven't given specifics about what you feel Raleigh is lacking in development for your needs. It's got fine park areas, restaurants, bars, performance venues, cultural attractions, people who live downtown, so what is it you feel is missing? If the answer is not enough skyscrapers, you've got the wrong priorities.

Let's go to another downtown, Durham. Just a few Friday nights ago, I ate with some friends at a delightful albeit packed restaurant while the Bulls stadium held a game, the DPAC presented The Color Purple for several thousand attendees, and the Full Frame Documentary Festival kept several venues occupied as well. If that isn't a vibrant enough downtown for you, then you obviously have too high expectations, in my opinion.

Yes, we don't have a lot of exciting things occurring 24/7 in our downtowns that Northern Virginia has. We also don't have that level of traffic that makes it unbearable to go anywhere on I-95 every day of the week now. I think most residents here are happy with that tradeoff.

If you want to contribute exactly what the downtowns lack here and how you propose to improve them, we'd be more than willing to hear from you. But if all you have to offer is criticism without context or specifics, you're going to get nowhere apart from everyone rolling their eyes and saying, "Oh, look, another transplant who came here to tell us how disappointed he is that we don't cater to his every need!" So tell us and back it up with some facts. Otherwise, your arguments are going nowhere here.

[JeanieCoyle]

I have many friends from NoVa and every time I visit it takes way too long to travel there because of the traffic and it is super crowded. Personally I think Raleigh is the better city because there are tons of people but it doesnt feel that way. You really should take a look at everything Raleigh-Durham has to offer. I know that I am always seeing events on my facebook page that people around me are interested in or you could checkout offline media, it is basically an app that tells you things to do in Raleigh for every day. When we moved here this was a great help for us.

I think you are just being closed off to the idea of a new city because you didnt try to explore what Raleigh has to offer and you just wanted it to come to you.

[Thr3stripe]

Originally Posted by ozmoe571

Comparing Raleigh-Durham to Minneapolis is ridiculous given their large differences in population and history of growth.

Agreed. One must realize why cities developed like they did. Before the 1950's, households in the US averaged less than 1 car per family. There was a huge reliance on public transportation, and ciites built upwards rather than outwards, as businesses needed to be geographically close to other businesses and central to the local population.

Raleigh's growth has mostly occurred in the last 30 years, when it was more common for families to own multiple automobiles, and businesses didn't necessarily need to be located in a central downtown area any longer. As a consequence, Raleigh (maybe more specifically, the Triangle) built out, rather than up, for the most part.

Skylines seem to be important to a lot of folks, and living my entire lifetime up until 4 years ago in Pittsburgh (which has a great skyline), I get some of it. I'm just not sure why anyone would be surprised and disappointed AFTER they moved here.

And I'm not sure why the OP would even be using Minneapolis as a comparison anyways. It's a top 15 metro population. I would be more apt to compare it with Indianapolis or Columbus (where, along with the Triangle, these are all top 25-30 CSA areas).

[NM posts]

So I don't think the OP is lacking events, it's more of a feel.

I do get that as I like large cities too (though downtown Raleigh does feel like one to me, just smaller). I really understand as I like the core of Richmond more than here (not the part next to 95) but went there and like it more to visit than live.

But...this is why one must visit and try to live a regular day/weekend and REALLY get a feel for where they're going.

OP a lot of the things you like are probably here, but spread out over the entire triangle. I get that the vibe is different, perhaps.

I don't know what type of industry you're in but if I were you I would be heavily looking for remote position so you could go somewhere you like more. Because life's too short and if you don't like it here now you won't.

OR - move out of Cary. Cary is fine for people who like Cary. It may not be your thing to live there, and that's ok. I know a couple who lived in Cary and moved to downtown Durham. They are happier than they were. It may not make a difference for you if your heart's desire is a LARGE city, but it's worth considering moving elsewhere in the Triangle if you can commute to your job reasonably.

Every place isn't perfect for everyone, and that's ok! Just cuz others like it here doesn't mean you have to. But next time you move - travel there extensively first

[OUTISD]

Cary is fine for those prefer sub-division in a suburb kinda of vibe. It's basically a giant sub-division. Otherwise it's a pretty boring place. OP should check out Durham.

[RedZin]

Originally Posted by NM posts

So I don't think the OP is lacking events, it's more of a feel.

I do get that as I like large cities too (though downtown Raleigh does feel like one to me, just smaller). I really understand as I like the core of Richmond more than here (not the part next to 95) but went there and like it more to visit than live.

But...this is why one must visit and try to live a regular day/weekend and REALLY get a feel for where they're going.

OP a lot of the things you like are probably here, but spread out over the entire triangle. I get that the vibe is different, perhaps.

I don't know what type of industry you're in but if I were you I would be heavily looking for remote position so you could go somewhere you like more. Because life's too short and if you don't like it here now you won't.

OR - move out of Cary. Cary is fine for people who like Cary. It may not be your thing to live there, and that's ok. I know a couple who lived in Cary and moved to downtown Durham. They are happier than they were. It may not make a difference for you if your heart's desire is a LARGE city, but it's worth considering moving elsewhere in the Triangle if you can commute to your job reasonably.

Every place isn't perfect for everyone, and that's ok! Just cuz others like it here doesn't mean you have to. But next time you move - travel there extensively first

I love the "feel" of larger cities, too. It's nice.

That said, I can visit a place and know immediately if it has that "feel" or not.

Which is what I'd do before moving to one.

[m378]

Originally Posted by OUTISD

Cary is fine for those prefer sub-division in a suburb kinda of vibe. It's basically a giant sub-division. Otherwise it's a pretty boring place. OP should check out Durham.

Cary has SO much more to do than the 700k for a 2000sf house suburb that was 45 minutes outside of Boston that I came from.

Lots to do in Cary - maybe not things for single 20 somethings, but a great place to raise a family.