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We are stuggling to find a good school fit for our very very bright but equally immature seventh grader. We’re currently in the Chapel Hill public school system and our child receives gifted services but is not in the LEAP program because his performance is not where it should be. A lot of it is a lack of maturity but some of it is that his teachers and school aren’t set up to deal with a kid like him, so there’s frustration all around.
He’s very verbal, loves to debate and engage in discussion, but struggles with details and finds it hard to engage when topics etc don’t hook him. The school gifted specialist assures us this is typical of many gifted boys and will resolve over time as he grows up a bit. But he’s struggling now, and we are starting to think about other options.
We do have test results that demonstrate a high IQ and no LD/special needs, so the issue is more about finding a way to help him use his intelligence well in a classroom setting. He’s not a bad kid and he desperately wants to do well but he’s just not (has never been) a great fit for a traditional public school classroom, at least not in Chapel Hill where so much of the emphasis is on results and less on nurturing potential.
Can anyone recommend a private school or another district school/program that might be a better fit for this child? We will consider moving within the area if necessary. Thanks.
What does your son want to do? Does he want to change schools?
I personally don't understand these days why parents think that kids need to fit a specific mold, and if they don't something is wrong. Every kid is different - just because it's hard for him to "engage when topics don't hook him", does that really mean he needs to go to private school? That's just a kid being a kid if you ask me. Not everything in life is going to be a perfect fit.
Just my .02. I guess the parents know best at the end of the day.
Location: Chapel Hill, NC, formerly NoVA and Phila
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There's a good possibility that LEAP is being dismantled at the end of this year. If that happens, a lot of the smart 'quirky' kids will be back at their base schools, which may make the dynamics a bit different in the classrooms next year. We shall see what happens.
I have a 6th-grade son who sounds a lot like yours.
What does your son want to do? Does he want to change schools?
I personally don't understand these days why parents think that kids need to fit a specific mold, and if they don't something is wrong. Every kid is different - just because it's hard for him to "engage when topics don't hook him", does that really mean he needs to go to private school? That's just a kid being a kid if you ask me. Not everything in life is going to be a perfect fit.
Just my .02. I guess the parents know best at the end of the day.
This sounds exactly like me in middle/high school (and I went to one of the top public schools in Massachusetts so I can sympathize with the cut through environment). I was on the younger end of my graduating class so I definitely had some maturity issues compared to my peers and it just took time for me to round into shape. I was very engaged in class and loved to challenge teachers on subjects that interested me (but had no interested in doing homework or studying for tests for other subjects). Finished high school with a B/B- average but luckily got a 34 on the ACT which helped me get into a pretty decent school.
I "think" I've turned out alright - kids need time to mature, some more than others. And also some people just aren't cut out for academics and that's alright as long as they find something else that they are passionate about that they can use down the road.
I cannot offer a direct answer to the question in your post, but just wanted to support your statement in the fact that highly gifted children often learn extremely quickly and show significant ability to think outside the box, but some show no desire to perform well within the parameters expected. Executive functioning is frequently delayed as well which complicates the picture (lost homework, lack of organization that causes missed deadlines, etc.), and you are correct -- many schools are not set up to handle this population.
I get it exactly what you're talking about. If you would like to PM me for information about supportive resources available from others in different parts of the nation (if you have not received those already), feel free to do so.
This sounds exactly like me in middle/high school (and I went to one of the top public schools in Massachusetts so I can sympathize with the cut through environment). I was on the younger end of my graduating class so I definitely had some maturity issues compared to my peers and it just took time for me to round into shape. I was very engaged in class and loved to challenge teachers on subjects that interested me (but had no interested in doing homework or studying for tests for other subjects). Finished high school with a B/B- average but luckily got a 34 on the ACT which helped me get into a pretty decent school.
I "think" I've turned out alright - kids need time to mature, some more than others. And also some people just aren't cut out for academics and that's alright as long as they find something else that they are passionate about that they can use down the road.
problem is there's no time for challenging teachers and thoughtful debate. Teachers need to plow through material and get it done so they can test, test, test the kids. My sister is a teacher and she showed me her science lesson for the day the other day. It was 10 pages front and back, small print. She's like "This is what I have to get through in one day. In 30 minutes. With 30 nine and ten year olds".
If I had a kid like this I would home school if possible. Private school is an option because there's no constant state and federal mandated testing. Teachers can teach the way they want. But, it's expensive.
Bottom line is no public school is going to accommodate a child like this. Things will get better in HS when he can take AP classes where discussion is part of the curriculum.
Just as some people aren't cut out for academics some aren't cut out for the mold of public school.
(I agree there sounds like some executive function issues here....he sounds like my son's friend who has a genius IQ but can't get anything done....luckily he's going to college for a non-academic major and just has to plow through the rest of HS).
I’m curious if your son is on the young side for his grade. My daughter is supposed to start K next fall with an August birthday and I’m on the fence. Maturity issues later on are my biggest consideration. If I held her back I would likely do a year of private Kindergarten and then public Kindergarten.
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