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We've been here 12 years now, and our best friends (we've known them for 40 years) have only been down here twice. 2 of my sisters have never been down to see us. I've lost count of how many trips we have made back to NJ, but 3 years ago I decided I wasn't going back for anything other than weddings and funerals. Going back in Nov for a wedding.
When we left NJ in 2007 our taxes were $6K/year in Lawrenceville. Still only half of that now.
Yep almost the same here . Before my parents ended up in assisted living here , while in NJ they came down twice . My husband’s family only came a few times while my father in law was still alive. So yeah , we are also down to the weddings and funerals. We did go up for Christmas after not going for a few years, but not planning another for awhile lol .
My wife has one friend who comes down occasionally. Other than that, none of our friends have ever come to visit. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't slightly offended by that, but I can understand their train of thought: "They chose to leave, why should I go through the hassle and expense of visiting them?". I personally would want to see where my friends live, even if it's just once.
Many northerners are very attached to where they live, and don't do well with change. One of my friends actually started an argument with me during our going away party, basically telling me that the south sucks, the schools suck, etc. He literally has no idea what it's like here - never has been here, never will. I think some of our friends were secretly hoping we'd hate it here so that they would "win". Ironically, I think they'd all love it here, but change is hard for some people which I understand.
We go north once a year, but at this point it's primarily to hang out with the grandparents/parents.
We moved from NJ 14 years ago this June for us it was the best thing we did. At the time our daughter was almost 2 years old. We wanted another kid and wanted a better cost of living, get away from the congestion/ rat race pace and weather.
While we ended up with just one kid...long story lol we were still happy with our choice. As others mentioned, give yourself time to adjust to a new area.
I was happy to get away from the snow and my hour long commute to work. Both my husband and I work in IT and were able to find jobs. Now for pay - depends on what you do. I used to be in help desk/desktop support and at first I took a pay cut when I got a job here. I transferred to another department in my company doing manual software testing and make a lot more money.
My husband is a manager now for a software company and people with SQL experience can do well. Same for network engineers or programming. His company will hire people at tier 1 with little or no experience and I think they start at $35-40k.
For friends - we had them in NJ but not really close. One who I thought was a good friend never bothered to visit and we grew apart. So you have to anticipate friends may or may not come to see you. We at first did the drives up to NJ and got tired of it for various reasons.
Weather is great - summers for July and August can hot and humid. Sometimes I see NJ get the same weather it just may not last as long as it would here. Less snow but we tend to get ice. We don't have the plows like NJ since we don't get much snow but the nice thing is work and other places will close so people are not on the roads.
Schools for us have not be an issue. However Wake county is a regional school system and is rather large. I love Apex (where we live now) for many reasons - great commute to RTP/Morrisville area (15-20 minutes) amenities and schools.
Cost of living - you will see that property taxes are MUCH lower than NJ.No crazy high single digit or some double digit taxes. We left Old Bridge in 2005 and it was already at 5K. Can't imagine what it is now!
Housing will vary - Apex and Cary have boomed since we moved here. Relative to NJ prices you can get a large new construction house for what a fixer-uper would be in NJ. You can also get a nice re-sale for a good price.
Gas, food, clothes are all about the same. Car insurance is also better rate wise than NJ. But you do pay a property tax on your cars every year ( around $200 or so)
Thank you Mishellina for taking the time to reply, I appreciate!
We moved down here from NJ in 2005. At the time our kids were 5 and 3. We wanted to live in a new home community and chose Wakefield Plantation which we are very happy with. We love the lower cost of living and the weather., and the great public schools in the area. It was very easy to make friends in a new home community since everyone was new. You will find no shortage of folks from the Northeast around the Raleigh area. Very few if any of my neighbors are actually from NC. My daughter is now a freshman at UNC Chapel Hill and we couldn't be more thrilled. One of the reasons we chose NC is for the great selection of in-state universities. The only thing I could say we really miss is the selection of good ethnic food. Finding a great Italian or authentic Chinese restaurant is not easy, they are out there but not anywhere to the same degree that you would fine in the NY/NJ metro area.
My wife has one friend who comes down occasionally. Other than that, none of our friends have ever come to visit. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't slightly offended by that, but I can understand their train of thought: "They chose to leave, why should I go through the hassle and expense of visiting them?". I personally would want to see where my friends live, even if it's just once.
Many northerners are very attached to where they live, and don't do well with change. One of my friends actually started an argument with me during our going away party, basically telling me that the south sucks, the schools suck, etc. He literally has no idea what it's like here - never has been here, never will. I think some of our friends were secretly hoping we'd hate it here so that they would "win". Ironically, I think they'd all love it here, but change is hard for some people which I understand.
We go north once a year, but at this point it's primarily to hang out with the grandparents/parents.
That was my MIL, always complaining about where we live but I don't think she had ever come within 300 miles of North Carolina. Northerners think they are so open minded but can't open their own minds that there are other great places to live. Mostly, it's fear.
I will say when we were moving every single person I told said "I wish we could move". One of my neighbors went to Duke, and he said "If only I had bought a house in Cary 20 years ago....".
One of the first people I met here was a neighbor who packed up a U-Haul with her husband not long after college graduation, and their families told them "you'll be back in a week". Guess whose entire extended family has moved here.
Neela: When you move here, you'll be starting from scratch. Whoever is from NJ who is going to visit you will come the first year to check out your house. Other than that, prepare to build a new social life here.
Before I retired, I went back to NJ 2-3 times a year for work. Now I haven't been up there since November 2017 and the only real reason I'm going to go up this fall is to lay in supplies at the company store where I worked, and to bring back crumb cake from B&W Bakery in Hackensack. Oh, I'm still in touch via email and Facebook, but when you leave, you've left...and if you want to see old friends, YOU will have to go back there.
That said....there are a lot of transplants here, newcomers groups, and meetups for evvery kind of interest. I've been unusually lucky in finding people to spend time with, but if you put yourself out there and don't just talk to people, but LISTEN to them, it' not that hard.
I can't see myself moving back to NJ for anything short of end-stage terminal illness, because they just passed assisted suicide. But barring that, I'm here to stay. I love it here, itchy skin from pine pollen notwithstanding.
We moved down here from NJ in 2005. At the time our kids were 5 and 3. We wanted to live in a new home community and chose Wakefield Plantation which we are very happy with. We love the lower cost of living and the weather., and the great public schools in the area. It was very easy to make friends in a new home community since everyone was new. You will find no shortage of folks from the Northeast around the Raleigh area. Very few if any of my neighbors are actually from NC. My daughter is now a freshman at UNC Chapel Hill and we couldn't be more thrilled. One of the reasons we chose NC is for the great selection of in-state universities. The only thing I could say we really miss is the selection of good ethnic food. Finding a great Italian or authentic Chinese restaurant is not easy, they are out there but not anywhere to the same degree that you would fine in the NY/NJ metro area.
I read this twice to see if I had posted it! We moved from NJ in 2005 also with kids aged 5 and 3!! We ended up in Holly Springs.
My daughter just finished her freshman year at Duke!
We have been narrowing down on public schools in Cary, every school we like is "capped" for 2019-20.
I have a middle schooler & elementary kids, should we worry about the capping/reassignments every year?
Looked at charter schools too but that's a lottery again & no school bus which is not very promising.
Parents, please advise!
There's only one middle school capped, Mills Park. I suggest casting a wider net. Davis Drive Middle, Alston Ridge (that's YR though, and opening this summer), Apex and Apex Friendship would all be good options.
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2 of my sisters have never been down to see us. 
I've lost count of how many trips we have made back to NJ, but 3 years ago I decided I wasn't going back for anything other than weddings and funerals. Going back in Nov for a wedding. 
