I have nothing valuable to contribute here, but one thought strikes me as I read through this thread.
The OP should be asking about neighborhoods instead of towns. For those of you who are familiar with the area (should be most), let me ask you to imagine something. Imagine getting in your car that is parked at the IHOP on Capital BLVD. Now, start driving on Capital BLVD toward downtown Raleigh. Drive past 440. As you continue to drive, you will pass Saltwater Seafood Market on your left, and then the exit for Wade Avenue. Don't get on the exit, just keep driving. Drive past Peace street, and then drive all the way through downtown Raleigh. Drive past the Red Had Amphitheater, and then under Martin Luther King Jr BLVD. Drive by Mt Hope Cemetary and keep going as you pass Rts 40/60. Keep going and going and going until you hit Tryon Rd. Now STOP!! You've just driven about 7.8 miles. Now take a left or a right turn and drive the same distance again in that direction. Once you've reached 7.8 miles again, STOP. Ok, if Cary was square shaped, you would have just driven two sides of it.
Isn't it safe to assume that inside of the
Cary Box, you would find many different neighborhoods with different vibes and types of people?
Ok, last thing I will say is, you would probably find some neighborhoods in Hillsborough that would fit your family well. BUT, don't move there! Don't move there because I want to move there and I don't want the population to keep growing!
Last last thing. Good luck.