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Hey all,
As the title says I'm interested in moving to Raleigh and am looking for some advice on whether this would be a good decision.
I've spent the last 6 years or so in Portland, OR and have been wanting to move for the past couple of years but didn't due to some career moves I wanted to make before I jumped ship. Portland, OR has its good points for sure - relatively mild climate, plenty of outdoor activities and a fair amount of tech jobs. But certain drawbacks of the city are making me consider a change, namely: it's cloudy and rainy for 7-9 months of the year, the housing market is expensive, and the hardcore left, in-your-face politics of the region are starting to get old. I'm politically moderate, if not apathetic, grew up in the midwest and have friends from all over the spectrum, but even for me it's just getting to be too much.
Enter Raleigh.
From my own research as well as anecdotes from friends who have lived there, people have positive things to say about Raleigh. The area has a good mix of educated young professionals from all over, is close to research Triangle Park where there are a good amount of software jobs (I work from home as a programmer), and still provides some of the outdoors activities such as running/hiking trails and the ocean
(I'm a windsurfer, Cape Hatteras looks like fun), plus the warmer climate.
A few concerns I have about making the move are:
* The dating scene. I've read that Raleigh is sort of a tough place to date in your mid 30s - then again that's probably the case for most areas. While I haven't looked up the statistics myself, it appears from afar that there's the 20s college & post college crowd, families with kids, and little in between as far as singles still getting out there enjoying the nightlife in their mid 30s. Is that an accurate picture of the dating and social scene out there? I do know that dating/your social life is generally what you decide to make of it, but certain areas are legitimately just not good for certain things.
* Summer heat. I've heard it's brutally hot and humid for the summer months and you'll want to hibernate inside with the A/C turned on full blast.
* Snakes, bugs and...gators? Haha, call me a wimp all you want but I have a healthy respect/fear of snakes and gators, and mosquitoes tend to favor me for whatever reason. I know that snakes are rarely aggressive unless you are, that you shouldn't swim in muddy waters, and to wear bug spray, but from a few threads on this forum it seems like the area is crawling with bugs and snakes - maybe not so much
gators. I tend to run long distances on trails, and I do think about being out of breath and then wham - I get bit. Now what? Run back?
Anyway, is my view of the Raleigh area spot on or am I off? Or somewhere in between? I've heard people say that Raleigh is sort of a spread-out suburb with not much to do and that I might have a better time in Durham or Charlotte, but wanted to do my due diligence before picking one place or another. Hope you're all doing well during these times.
I’m close in age to you, but in a different station in life, and a non native, so consider the source.
Pretty good IT market here but I don’t know how the wages compare to Portland. Market is a step back wage wise from where my family moved from which is sorta offset by a decrease in housing expense. if you are still researching things, I’d look into that.
I can’t speak to what dating is like. A single 35 year old version of me could have dug this area (Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill) but a single version of me wouldn’t want the suburbs here. What I know of Clayton, Wake Forest, Holly Springs, Fuquay, I wouldn’t have any interest without a partner and probably kids (assuming I was looking for that)
Ocean is close enough if you want it. Lots of trails in the area.
The heat and humidity are what they are. I crank the A/C in my home but still get outside with the kids or to socialize (in normal times). I don’t find it completely debilitating but you can’t deny it’s hot and humid.
Saw a gator down in Wilmington. Not sure how close they get to here. People talk about snakes a lot, never seen one alive myself. Yes there are bugs, but again, frame of reference is key. I can’t see myself saying “we need to leave NC cuz of the bugs”. For some reason I have noticed less mosquitoes than where I moved from but there are more biting bugs in general here.
Overall it’s a fine area. Lots to like but like anywhere else, not without its shortcomings. Good weather, still relatively affordable. Good vistas. Activities galore. Up and coming beer and food scene (some may say it’s already there). And if you end up putting some family roots down (even for just a bit) it’s a really good area for that.
I don't think you will have a problem at all dating here and you will have lots of beautiful and intelligent women to choose from. Had you been moving here a decade or more ago at your age I would have said it might be more difficult because at that time it appeared that many married soon after college.
My daughter is in her late twenties and most of her peers (coworkers, friends from college/high school) are not married yet. They want to experience some time on their own after college and experience the world a bit before settling down. I did notice that the ones who did not go to college did tend to get married and have children earlier. However a lot of them are already divorced.
The weather here is pretty decent except for summer. I grew up in Orange County California at the beach and then spent about 25 years in the San Francisco Bay Area before coming here so the summers have been difficult to get used to. Thankfully everything has AC here but coming from an area where we spent most of our time outdoors, I find it difficult to be cooped up in the house for long periods. Others don't seem to mind the humidity here so it might not be an issue for you.
BUGS BUGS and more BUGS and lots of SNAKES! I find snakes all the time in my yard! I love to garden so I am in my yard a lot and notice them curled up in my bushes, in my grass, on the flagstone sunning itself and even one time I grabbed some potting soil out of an open bag I had outside and out slithered a snake. Thankfully I have never encountered a copperhead here but many neighbors have. The snakes I find at my suburban home are small though. We also had 20 acres in the country here and the snakes out there were HUGE! At least 6ft long with a wide girth! One time I was on my tractor cutting the grass and one of these huge ones slithered right in front of me and there was no way I could stop in time! I can't tell you how gross it was to hear and feel it being shopped up underneath me! So yes, be prepared for snakes especially out on the greenways where you may run or walk. However they will typically leave you alone so I don't think you have to worry too much about being bitten unless you hike in tall brush.
Now the bugs....I have never seen so many kind of bugs before. And lots of mosquitos especially the Asian Tiger Mosquito that likes to hang out during the day and bite! But there are some pretty bugs here too. I love seeing the fire flies this time of year. And we have lots of beautiful wildlife (even in suburbia) that kind of makes up for all the creepy bugs here.
As for gators.....no worries here. Maybe if you go to the coast you might come across one.
And I think the job market will be fine for you. My daughter works in Software Sales and the industry, while not like Silicon Valley, is still good here (amount of jobs, salary, work/life balance etc).
Hey all,
As the title says I'm interested in moving to Raleigh and am looking for some advice on whether this would be a good decision.
I've spent the last 6 years or so in Portland, OR and have been wanting to move for the past couple of years but didn't due to some career moves I wanted to make before I jumped ship. Portland, OR has its good points for sure - relatively mild climate, plenty of outdoor activities and a fair amount of tech jobs. But certain drawbacks of the city are making me consider a change, namely: it's cloudy and rainy for 7-9 months of the year, the housing market is expensive, and the hardcore left, in-your-face politics of the region are starting to get old. I'm politically moderate, if not apathetic, grew up in the midwest and have friends from all over the spectrum, but even for me it's just getting to be too much.
Enter Raleigh.
From my own research as well as anecdotes from friends who have lived there, people have positive things to say about Raleigh. The area has a good mix of educated young professionals from all over, is close to research Triangle Park where there are a good amount of software jobs (I work from home as a programmer), and still provides some of the outdoors activities such as running/hiking trails and the ocean
(I'm a windsurfer, Cape Hatteras looks like fun), plus the warmer climate.
A few concerns I have about making the move are:
* The dating scene. I've read that Raleigh is sort of a tough place to date in your mid 30s - then again that's probably the case for most areas. While I haven't looked up the statistics myself, it appears from afar that there's the 20s college & post college crowd, families with kids, and little in between as far as singles still getting out there enjoying the nightlife in their mid 30s. Is that an accurate picture of the dating and social scene out there? I do know that dating/your social life is generally what you decide to make of it, but certain areas are legitimately just not good for certain things.
* Summer heat. I've heard it's brutally hot and humid for the summer months and you'll want to hibernate inside with the A/C turned on full blast.
* Snakes, bugs and...gators? Haha, call me a wimp all you want but I have a healthy respect/fear of snakes and gators, and mosquitoes tend to favor me for whatever reason. I know that snakes are rarely aggressive unless you are, that you shouldn't swim in muddy waters, and to wear bug spray, but from a few threads on this forum it seems like the area is crawling with bugs and snakes - maybe not so much
gators. I tend to run long distances on trails, and I do think about being out of breath and then wham - I get bit. Now what? Run back?
Anyway, is my view of the Raleigh area spot on or am I off? Or somewhere in between? I've heard people say that Raleigh is sort of a spread-out suburb with not much to do and that I might have a better time in Durham or Charlotte, but wanted to do my due diligence before picking one place or another. Hope you're all doing well during these times.
Cheers
I moved here from Denver and a couple of years older than you. I am married with no kids, so I can't comment on dating life. The night life seems pretty non-existent, but I only moved here about a year ago and then Covid happened. So I didn't get to experience a lot of things yet.
Humidity -- it is what it is. I love the greenery and the diversity of flora and fauna, it's intense. And, I realize that this greenery is here because of humidity. I do not mind humidity per se. I actually love it. It's the humidity + heat that gets a bit unbearable. Based on my 12 month experience, it's gets really really hot June-September. May and October you get lots of breaks from the heat. This year April and May were the most gorgeous months I have ever experienced anywhere. But, last year, October was miserable. I kept thinking the heat would break but it only happened around mid-October. After that it was the most amazing fall and winter. Mornings are really nice here. Even today (July) we spent about an hour in our backyard from around 7am-8am drinking coffee and chatting. It was really nice. We go to evening strolls as well. After 7:30pm, it seems to cool down a lot.
I haven't seen one "bad" snake yet. I spend lots of time gardening, and have seen 1-2 garten (sp?) snakes, but they are docile, good snakes. They take care of slugs and other bugs. For the record, I live in Durham and my house is on .5-.7 acres of land, across from Duke Forest. So theoretically speaking, I should be seeing lots of snakes. But, I haven't seen one copperhead yet. I usually make a lot of noises in my garden before doing anything (literally bring out my weed eater and run it for 30 seconds to scare them away).
Durham is pretty progressive and activist. I found it to more outspoken politically than more libertarian/apolitical Denver. Don't get me wrong, Denver is a bigger city and a solid blue one, but Durham's politics are completely different level because of historical reasons. I personally really like it, and can't wait to get involved more when this Covid is over. Anyway, just providing some info about the political leanings of the place.
We also had 20 acres in the country here and the snakes out there were HUGE! At least 6ft long with a wide girth! One time I was on my tractor cutting the grass and one of these huge ones slithered right in front of me and there was no way I could stop in time! I can't tell you how gross it was to hear and feel it being shopped up underneath me! So yes, be prepared for snakes especially out on the greenways where you may run or walk. However they will typically leave you alone so I don't think you have to worry too much about being bitten unless you hike in tall brush.
Oh, the outdoor activities -- I run, bike, hike, camp and hoping to get back to kayaking seriously. All are possible. There are lots of greenways, but nothing like Portland, of course. But, at least, you do not have to worry about having your rain gear all the time here. You can actually get into the ocean and go for a swim.
I'm a few years younger than you and also a single male.
I will say yeah; the dating scene isn't GREAT but not terrible. Yes most of my close friends and people in my "circle" are in that late 20s-early 30s age bracket and married or planning on it with a young kiddo or two or planning on it....but there are still a fair amount of singles especially in Raleigh and Durham proper.
We have a lot of people who did school forever (very high concentration of people with masters and/or doctorates) and thus "late bloomers" in the dating/relationship "track" if that is their thing.
Summer is hot, muggy, and long. No two ways about it. AC is utilized A LOT. We aren't as intense as Texas but compared to the PNW....yeah that's going to be a big adjustment. Flip side to that is our beaches are not too far away and sorry..... are 100x better than West Coast beaches for "beach activities".... I was even pleasantly surprised a couple weeks ago to see that even on Emerald Isle....COVID safe practices/mask wearing are being strictly followed by businesses and a good amount of tourists.
Beach and mountains being a day-trip away is cool but don't discount the outdoor activities in the immediate area either. There are great places to hike and swim in local parks. Eno River and Umstead being my personal two favorites in Durham and Raleigh respectively. Kayaking on Jordan Lake very common and Falls Lake too. A few friends and I spent a good chunk of the day at Turtle Hole on the Eno River in Durham last Saturday. It's a really nice swimming hole area.. We each had a floating lounge and a few select beverages (in cans...no glass bottles!) land it was great; a favorite easy lazy summer activity even in the 90+ degree heat.
I lived in Raleigh for over thirty years and can confirm that the dating scene for someone in their 30s is rough. You're correct in that the area is spread out. If you insist on the triangle, I'd suggest a long visit to see if it's for you. More or less, Raleigh is just fine. Not awesome, not awful, just fine. It was a great place to grow up and very safe. Durham is interesting, if not gritty. Chapel Hill was fun, but a post college crowd and leans pretty left if that's not your thing. I moved out west eight years ago and wouldn't move back to the triangle. If I were in my mid 30s with no obligations and can work remote, I'd personally shoot for somewhere more fun (maybe Asheville, Nashville if you're set on the south). If being by the water is more your thing, I lived in Wilmington for a while and enjoyed being there. It's going to be hot and humid from June until October 1st and will be night and day from somewhere like Portland.
I think the belief that summers here are terrible is a myth. Sure, it gets hot for spells and sometimes with high humidity. But nothing like Florida, where summer starts in April and lasts until October. And Phoenix, where a few days ago the high was 116 and the LOW was 94. The whole southern tier of states can be uncomfortable in summer, but it hasn't stopped millions of people from moving to the sunbelt.
Come spend at least a week here and see what you think. With the exception of mid-sized downtown Raleigh and small downtown Durham, this place is all suburbia. It's ... nice. It's ... pleasant. I like it, but I'm married and 55.
But dude, gators?? Did you do ANY research on that??
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You can actually get into the ocean and go for a swim.
