Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
First, I just want to say that I don't agree at all with what M378 said to the OP. I think when people move to a new area, especially if they are not familiar with it at all, they probably would feel more comfortable finding people that are similar. This could be ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation or whatever else that might be important to them.
Now, where I do agree with M378 (and believe me I rarely ever agree with him on things)........I do feel that there is a double standard. White people would be shunned for even asking such a thing. And there are some pockets in the US where the demographics are "flipped" so I could see where maybe a new white transplant in let's say Cupertino would want to find some similar people at first to make the transition a little easier. Or maybe prior to buying a house they would want to at least find a neighborhood that has a bit more diversity.
In Cupertino, where my children went to school, the attendance base is mostly Asian. A white family coming from NC where the schools are not ranked as high might find a school like Monta Vista High too academically driven, especially in Math and Science, for their children That is why years ago they reported on all the "white flight" from the area. So I can see that new family maybe wanting to reach out so that they can find a neighborhood that aligns more with what their family is looking for.
Sorry that Gaylord jumped over you for this post but I don't think anything you said is really inconsistent with the general theme of this post. I'm not sure who you think white people would be shunned by - maybe people outside the community might perceive it to be a racist decision - but my guess would be that the Asian community in Cupertino probably wouldn't care. I went to a high school full of students who were academically driven and many Asian families and students make similar decisions regarding schools and demographics.
I'm not sure where you got the idea that I took issue with the OP because as you put it he is a "colored minority". Geez if I took issue with "colored minorities" than I wouldn't be married to my "colored" husband and wouldn't have "colored" children. In fact I specifically stated that M378's initial reply was something I was not in agreement with at all and that I understood why the OP would ask for information like this (especially on a site like this). City Data is a platform that people use to find out information on new cities and part of that definitely would be to find out about demographics, how they will fit in, what it would be like for their family etc.
I also don't understand your repetitive comments directed at me assuming that I think Asians are hostile towards Whites. I mean where in the world is that even coming from???? And your other remark about me thinking that Asians are non english speakers......again some of the most absurd assumptions on your part. And maybe you should go back and read some of your previous posts. Your reply to someone saying that some of the real racists were neighbors with money from Japan, China and Pakistan. You said... "Yep. Being a racist is not just a white thing. Foreigners can be just as bad". But yet I am the racist lol!!!
I'm not moving to Cupertino (at least don't have any plans to right now). I already lived and worked in the SF Bay Area for decades with many years in Cupertino prior to moving here. I worked in Tech for a company that had a large Asian/Indian employee base. I lived in neighborhoods that were predominately Asian/Indian and where the the student population is 10% white. So I definitely know that they are not a bunch of "non english speakers" and that they are not "hostile towards whites". And yes, I definitely found my tribe with a diverse group of friends My family is also a mixed bunch (White, Black, Korean, South Asian Indian). My neighborhood here in NC, especially my street, is a great mix of people (Indian, Vietnamese, White, Filipino, Black). It's also a mix of various political affiliations and religions. Am I a perfect human being..... heck no.....but I can tell you that my love for a person (or hate) is based solely on that's person's soul....not their gender, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation etc.
Now if you want to disagree and take issue with me stating that I think that sometimes I could see where a white person being transferred to an area that has a different demographic than what they have always lived in may have questions and should feel free to ask them just like any other person moving to an unknown area, then I totally accept that. It doesn't change how I feel though. Everything else you said to me was just pure nonsense. And if you would like to talk about this more feel free to DM me. I'm really not that horrible white person that you may think I am
What area would that be? What area would you feel the need to make a "where can I find white people" post? Philly? Atlanta? That school may have been 10% white but I assume it was American? I'm not sure why you would need to search out help but I wouldn't be offended. OP is an immigrant looking for a comfortable landing spot. You're, I presume, from this country, know it's processes so tell me again why you would need to seek out a group of white people? What about the Asian Americans would make you feel the need to do that? To me, most Asian-Americans are, well, pretty American, just like whites.
Besides, I don't believe it would be difficult to find like minded people (for you) anywhere in this country.
Here's a link to a Chinese ex-pat group, imo, not racist or wrong:
I apologize for my tone but this "if a white person said this...." stuff is to me disingenuous. The thing is, white people don't have to say this. It's like a straight person saying "why is there a gay pride parade? I'm proud to be straight, let's have a parade." Be glad that your people don't have to have a parade for awareness or that you don't have to find help. Look out your front door, your tribe is there.
And for the record, my kids are part white. Yeah, had kids with a white person.
I apologize for my tone but this "if a white person said this...." stuff is to me disingenuous. The thing is, white people don't have to say this. .
That's probably true. I think when it comes to white people you're more likely to hear them asking about where a certain religion lives. This is particularly true on LI, where I'm from, because LI isn't just racially segregated it's religiously segregated in some instances too.
That's probably true. I think when it comes to white people you're more likely to hear them asking about where a certain religion lives. This is particularly true on LI, where I'm from, because LI isn't just racially segregated it's religiously segregated in some instances too.
In my short time here, I know that NRaleigh Mom can answer for herself. And, she did. No one needs a mansplainer or a gatekeeper here. This a public forum, and you telling someone to "watch themselves" is unnecessary. We are all adults here. We exchange opinion. No need to be cliquish and "look out for each other".... This ain't your high school.
In many of your posts you come across as one unhinged and posts of having little value other than histrionics, and these in this thread earn you a promotion to Team Ignore to keep that one other poster there company.
Last edited by Repatriot; 07-02-2021 at 04:47 PM..
What's the difference between an immigrant and a native transplant? Both are in new places and don't know anyone. But if I said I was only looking to meet American-born people (no immigrants), you can guarantee I would take heat for it. But American-born, middle aged people with children are who I relate to best. I have absolutely nothing against immigrants and I welcome them, but I'd be lying if I said that I could relate to them best, just as an immigrant would be lying if they said they could relate to Americans best.
Again I agree completely that there's nothing wrong with seeking like-minded people, but we can't pretend there's not a double-standard. See my schools example if you're looking for one.
I’m not sure if you’re being serious. If you are I will answer. If you’re just trolling I will not. Answer my question first.
Is it really so difficult to understand that settling into a new place that's culturally different from one's own is something that might be made easier if it's aided by people who come from a similar culture to one's own?
I wasn't going to reply again because I didn't want to continue what I probably shouldn't have started, but since the thread continues..
I sat down and read the entire thread over again (all 11 pages). Yes, my initial post shouldn't have been posted and I realize it was rude. Classic case of not thinking before I typed. I apologize to the OP for derailing what should have been a simple thread.
While my opinion doesn't change that there's a double standard by definition, I hear everyone's points. Yes, if I moved to China (or any foreign country), I would absolutely seek out American friends at first. Yes, I would likely try and find American groups and clubs in an effort to make myself more comfortable in a new foreign environment. Yes moving to a new foreign country is likely very difficult and stressful (I have never done it). Yes finding native friends in your native country is easy and not a fair comparison to the opposite.
I shouldn't have obsessed only over the double standard, and should have thought it through first. I admit the mistake. Will make the effort to use the brain before the fingers going forward.
I do hope the OP realizes there are likely many people of other nationalities in the area that share similar interests and would be happy to be friends.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My family is also a mixed bunch (White, Black, Korean, South Asian Indian). My neighborhood here in NC, especially my street, is a great mix of people (Indian, Vietnamese, White, Filipino, Black). It's also a mix of various political affiliations and religions. Am I a perfect human being..... heck no.....but I can tell you that my love for a person (or hate) is based solely on that's person's soul....not their gender, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation etc.
