39 year old single guy, is Triangle a good spot? (Raleigh: apartments, rent)
Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill, CaryThe Triangle Area
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CurrenltI live with family outside DC where I grew up.
Never been a DC/NOVA fan which is why pre-pandemic I lived most of my adult life in the Northeast (Boston, Connecticut, Manhattan).
I really am eager to get my own space again, but several things have held me up, not the least of which is, umm where do I really belong?
If I was 20, 30, if I was married, if I had kids, I would know the answer.
I'm nearly 40, single, childless adult male with a mild disability (Autism), so social connectivity has always been a challenge.
Now I find myself where the places that made sense in my 20s/30s....urban centers...I feel old. People my age have left for the suburbs with their wives and kids, and been replaced by people five years younger who have themselves moved on and got replaced by those now 10 years younger as they cycle goes.
I go to the suburbs, there are people my age, just about all them are married, with kids, and homeowners, or at least 1-2 of the three so I feel just as out of place.
I am wondering if the Research Triangle might be a good place for me.
Again my goal is to be somewhere, I am looking to go from where I am now (single) to where most are (married/kids/family) but in order to do that it would help to be in area where I do not feel like the outlier as being the old one held back in school or the only one without a family.
I am also considering Denver, and Norwalk, CT.
I have no desire to be in metro DC. I find Arlington too trendy, young, and faux.
Do not like DC, again too sterile, faux, and pricey.
If I want a big city or big rent price, I want NY metro, not some wannabe NY.
The + I see:
-Maybe since it is such a new highly educated area, more people in my situation?
-Big hockey fan, so having a pro hockey team is huge
-Easy enough drive to family in NOVA
-Not far from the beach, and while not much snow in the winter, not too far from the mountains
-Cheaper relative
I'm not sure I understand what would help make you not feel like an outlier. Much of this area is suburban in nature and very family oriented, whereas I've always heard DC was a great place to be single. I'm not sure there's anywhere good to be 39 and single though. It is a nice place to live for all the reasons you mentioned.
No clue how accurate this survey is, but it says the Washington DC metro area is the 14th most simple metro area in the country whereas Raleigh is among the least single (#87). Raleigh metro area also ranks #6 for the highest share of households with children (32.7%), but Washington DC is not far behind at 31.3% (#9).
I'm not sure you'll escape the social dynamic of many people in your age range having married at least once or having children in the Triangle if you are feeling that way in DC. The area is relatively suburban in development pattern too with lots of housing stock in subdivisions with kids or housing geared towards college students / life around a university. Given Washington DC is a much larger area and more populous, you may feel even more limited in the dating pool in a smaller city.
The Triangle area produces a ton of college graduates every year and many of them stay after graduating. It also ranks very high on attracting younger professionals looking for careers in tech, life sciences etc. However, these folks are generally younger than 39 years old. This area is very highly educated, and conveniently located between the beach and mountains, but as others have said, also family oriented.
Pro hockey and college sports are huge here.
I think that you need to come visit for a few days to see if it is a good fit for you.
My daughter and her friends are early thirties. Some are married and some aren't. A couple of the single one's have already been married and are now divorced. Some of the non married one's are in serious relationships and some are totally single at the moment. So I really don't see it being a big issue here.
You can always meet other single people to date as long as you don’t live in some rural town. The Triangle (Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill) has enough colleges, companies, etc to support many singles. Is it as good as other cities? I don’t know, but I do know 53 year old male who is dating multiple women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s here! He ain’t rich and he ain’t great looking, maybe it’s a M:F ratio thing!
We moved to the Raleigh area two years ago (dad/mom/29 yr old single daughter). My princess went out on her own (couldn't pull that off in New Jersey, way too expensive). She is loving it, plenty of work opportunities (she's nailing it at her company), and she has met many friends. She has an apartment in SE Raleigh/north Cary area complex w/ pool and plenty of amenities. She loves the move, is plenty happy, and has met a moderate amount of other single/married friends.
Her only issue is meeting someone who is willing to have a relationship but, from what I've read often, today's single people have that same similar issue all over the country.
She goes to Canes games (we're big hockey fans), Bulls games with friends (minor league baseball is fun), and golfs at the many courses down here.
The Raleigh airport is a breeze and close to her, so traveling is easy. Raleigh has a pretty good night life (according to her), but of course no where near Manhattan or DC.
I hope this helps. Let me know if you would like more info and I'll ask her. But the further you go into the suburbs, the more family oriented neighborhoods you will find (as others have stated).
Raleigh's Glenwood South district is pretty wild on the weekends with dozens of packed bars, and sidewalks can't be navigated without bumping into others on Saturday nights.
It is a very attractive crowd in the 20s-40s range.
The area has tons of apartments, and is impressive for a small city downtown.
You are a 4 hour drive away so come check it out.
I too spent my 30s and 40s in NYC.
The D.C. Maryland area is way too stressful and intense. You will find Raleigh and Durham much easier to drive in and way more calm. Wrightsville Beach is 1hr. 45 min. away making day trips very easy.
The + I see:
-Maybe since it is such a new highly educated area, more people in my situation?
-Big hockey fan, so having a pro hockey team is huge
-Easy enough drive to family in NOVA
-Not far from the beach, and while not much snow in the winter, not too far from the mountains
-Cheaper relative
moved here from the DC suburbs and love it. I love that the beach is only a couple hours away. I've lived in Denver before. While I love the mountains, it's a zoo trying to get up to them (and there's mostly one way up, and one way back, and EVERYONE from Denver is on that road at the same time Fridays/Sundays. It's a madhouse of traffic.
I would try Denver again if moving there with a partner, but single there I found it harder to meet people meaningfully vs here in Raleigh. People seem more approachable here.
Of course Denver is not close to family in NOVA for you. I know zero about Norwalk, CT but I know it's got way worse of a winter situation than here. It's an easy train ride to DC or 4-5 hour drive even with traffic from Richmond all the way up to DC. I go up there often.
I agree with others; you should come down to Raleigh some nice long Fall weekend and see what you think; better yet come down a few times and see.
Best of luck
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