Ok- Here it is 2 years of reasearch and how I selected Raleigh / Wake County schools that are right for my family (Star: home, neighborhood)

[north_raleigh_spa_mom]

I'll make this as breif as possible. I wanted the best possible schools for my kids and I started searching early. Here's waht I found. You may agree or disagree but maybe some of this info will help someone

Problems w/ public school:

Rezoning;
It's real. It sucks/ And yes kids in the same families can be in different tracks. Most parents I know who struggled with this liked the school they had to leave but the bigger picture was the peer group their friends would lose. Some people think if some kids in a neighborhood are rezoned they all will be. That's not the case. I know people who moved to get stay in the school only to have their original home rezoned back. others move farther away to stay at the same school.

Schedules:
The schools are SOOO crowdeed that it is IMPOSSIBLE for all children to have lunch at a resonable time. Lunch can start as early as 10:30 for kids who aren't out of school until 3:00 or later. This is a big deal even though people don't think about it.

Year round vs. Traditional schedule:
I'm not saying one is better than another but how can you plan your life and maybe a big, like the once in a lifetime family vacation if you don't know when vacation will be?

So, for the above reasons, and some others I decided on private school for our family

How does a family afford private school:
it can be tough, some schools are very, very, very expensive. We don't go out to dinner, take modest vacations, buy winter clothes in summer, etc. I am so happy with the school we've selected that I think someday our kids will really appreciate the sacrifices we made to send them there Some people have to budget more than nothers but for some, no amount of budgeting will make private school a reality. For those families there is

Financial aid:
No one knows who gets financial aid. And, let me tell you. As a parent who is budgeting to pay, I want great kids from great families who benefit from financial aid. I want the kids of a firefighter and a music teacher to go go to school with my kids. Financial aid is available. No one knows who gets financial aid, not teachers, and certainly not other students or parents. Everyone pays SOMETHING. But, it is a something that is doable depending on the situation. I don't know for sure, but I think the schools with the highest tuition generally have a lot of finacial aid or scholarships available. Check it out.

How to select a school:
This is tough. I was CERTAIN I knew where I would send my kids. I knew great families and great kids from this school. But, after investigation I learned it wasn't right for my family. A lot of what you need to know is right on the school website. Here are a few important things to check on:
Corporal punishment: some address it right there on the website, others don't. If not you must ask. Obviously this is a very important consideration.
Complaints: The school I thought I wanted stated on the website that no parent is ever to complain about the school to another parent or anyone else. Well, to me, not rocking the boat and going stright to the source of the proiblem is common sense. This made me feel like the school had something to hide.
Religious Principals: Some want a faith based education. I thought I did but the "requirements" from some schools seemed excessive. Very excessive. "The school" I thought I wanted mentions on the website something about the sancity of marriage. I called and asked if this meant that children of divorce need not apply, the woman said sweetly oh, no certainly not. Oh, good I said. What about a commited same sex relationship. Well, NO that's not okay she replied. Ask what is important to you.

Ask everyone you know about what they know about certain schools. I came to learn that a lot of people pulled their kids out of this school. Ask about that.

Check on ALL schools. The school I chose was very different than my initial impression. I thought the rich kids with the snobby parents are at the school. Well, it's true, but those people are everyhwere. The thing is, those are the people you notice. I also thought this school would be very high pressure and more about intense acheivement than nurturing the whole child. I was wrong. Had I not checked I would never had found this amazing school that is ideal for my family.


Ask about sports and electives:
The school I chose has 1/2 day kindegarten I LOVED that. They also have lots of electives, music sports, etc. I want to have family dinners not nights filled with taking child 1 here, child 2 there and child 3 somewhere else with another person Becaue mom and dad are all ready with kids 1 and 2. I'm not there yet, but I talked to parents from our school whose kids are in high school at the school we selected and the kids are finished with school and practice at a reasonanble hour that allows for family time.

Cafeteria:
I haven't seen one cafeteria I love. They all have too much junk. But, one private school has self serve soda even for the lower grades. That truly made me sick.


Tips:
read the schools website completely. You will rule out some schools based on that information. If you like what you see, call and ask for some information.

Start your search early. If you're late, do try. But, if you can start searching at least a year in advance.

Get your kids in early. Great schools are in demand and only have so many spots. Starting early can get your child off to a good start and can secure their place later.

If you find a school you love, ask for a tour. This will give you a chance tot learn more about the school and get a face to face w/ an administrator or admissions director. If you love it after the tour. call to see if you can have a brief meeting to ask a few questions.
1) How has the school prepared for a disaster, ask about security
2) What % of kids leave the school and why. What type of kid isn't an ideal match for the school
3) If your child has special needs of any kind, even things like food allergies ask about it
4) if your child has special gifts mention that too
5) What kind of parent involvement opportunities are there?
Send a follow up thank you note and be honest. If you have fallen in love with the school, tell them.

Waiting lists / The myth of the waiting list:
There is a waiting list at a lot of schools. But, not all. One school actually had on the admission for "Is this school your first choice?' Of couse I said yes although it wasn't. But, I also did call them when I realized it really was not the school for us. It is the right school for someone. I think there are more spots than some schools might like to admit. Don't be intinidated by a waiting list.

In early grade it's hard to know what great gifts kids have. What will bring a kid to the top of the list often is parent enthusiam and involvement. If your child doesn't get in to the school you want, call the director of admissions, tell them this is where I really ant my child. Please keep me on the list, you can call me any time and we'll be there. This might do ity for you. Keep on it if you ned to even a year later.

The admissions process:
I don't have experience with older children but with younger kids make it a game. Don't tell them they are being tested or evaluated. tell them they are going to meet a new friend and play games. No need to pressure the little ones. BTW, I only found 2 schools that made it this far after researching and interviewing. I think most people can narrow the field to a max of 3 schools before going through the admissions process.

Stalking:
Call me crazy but I wanted to get an idea of the student body at various schools. I waited in the parking lot for kids to arrive in the a.m.. There are great and not so great kids everywhere but I found more sports cars and luxuury cars, profanity, and general bad behaviour at public schools. yes, more sports cars.
I also watched to see the behaviour of the kids at lunch time and I was mortified by what I saw at some schools. Check it out.

Make the drive:
Drive to the school of your choice at the time school starts and ends. See what the commute is like. If you have multiple children who might be in different schools imagine what your carpool experience will be like. What if ther is am emergency? How quickly can you get to the school. has anything good EVER happened on a schoolbus?

I guess the final thing is listen to your heart. I knew with both preschool and private school that I was in the "right place" for my family. One great school on paper was pretty close but there was no comparison in how the schools made me feel. I felt at home immediately at "our school" Other schools gave me the opposite feeling. But please do a lot of homework and don't only rely on feelings.

So, which is the best school? Each family needs to research and find what works for them. Our school is wonderful for our family but it's not ideal for everyone, no school is. But, there is a great school out there for your kids.

Good luck. We all need to take this very seriously.

p.s so sorry for all the typos. I am just too pooped to edit right now.

[lamishra]

Is this review only for for private school selection? Because most of what you stated is not accurate for public schools in Wake County. I'm assuming your review is about private schools only.

[north_raleigh_spa_mom]

I am tired but I thought it was clear that I started with what is wrong (for my family) about public schools in wake County , specifically North Raleigh as my screen name indicates. Followed by why we selected a private school. I'll re-read it in the a.m.
But the rezoning, families on different schedules, 10:30 a.m. lunch hours, lots of ill behaved kids driving sports cars to school were all at public schools.

I'm so sorry If wasn't clear. Thanks for bringing it to my attention
I will check in the a.m goodnight and make changes if needed.

[lamishra]

I'm sure your post was fine, just wanted to be clear that our review was about private schools only.

[DanielChang]

Originally Posted by north_raleigh_spa_mom

Call me crazy but I wanted to get an idea of the student body at various schools. I waited in the parking lot for kids to arrive in the a.m.. There are great and not so great kids everywhere but I found more sports cars and luxuury cars, profanity, and general bad behaviour at public schools. yes, more sports cars.

NRSM, thanks for putting together this comprehensive post. Gives a lot to think about. I am curious, though, exactly what is wrong with sports cars and luxury cars? What, exactly, is the correlation between sports cars/luxury cars and the other negative traits you've attributed to public schools?

Originally Posted by north_raleigh_spa_mom

But the rezoning, families on different schedules, 10:30 a.m. lunch hours, lots of ill behaved kids driving sports cars to school were all at public schools.

[Sydney02]

Wow, thanks for writing all your research. I didn't realize the private schools had so much financial aid available.

If you don't mind sharing, what income level does the financial aid cut off at? And if you do manage to get it, what percentage of the tuition is paid?

[north_raleigh_spa_mom]

Originally Posted by Sydney02

Wow, thanks for writing all your research. I didn't realize the private schools had so much financial aid available.

If you don't mind sharing, what income level does the financial aid cut off at? And if you do manage to get it, what percentage of the tuition is paid?

I really don't know the particulars of financial aid. I learned about this when asking about diversity of the student body. I was very pleased to learn that children from families with different income levels can attaend schools. I imagine it may be different for every school. I would suggest calling the schools to see what they offer. This might be information that would be helpful to others. Perhapas you could share what you learn on this site. Good luck to you!

[PDXmom]

NRSM,
kudos to you for this posting! This is excellent info for anyone researching private schools anywhere. And honestly, I found quite a bit of the information to cross over to public school as well. Great questions to ask of any school!

Congrats for finding a school that was such a great fit for your family!!

[weluvwakeforest]

Originally Posted by north_raleigh_spa_mom

I am tired but I thought it was clear that I started with what is wrong (for my family) about public schools in wake County , specifically North Raleigh as my screen name indicates. Followed by why we selected a private school. I'll re-read it in the a.m.
But the rezoning, families on different schedules, 10:30 a.m. lunch hours, lots of ill behaved kids driving sports cars to school were all at public schools.

I'm so sorry If wasn't clear. Thanks for bringing it to my attention
I will check in the a.m goodnight and make changes if needed.

I'm assuming this is a K-12 school... keep in mind as the years go by your child/children may no longer mesh with this small "community" environment. Please keep an open mind - while some seniors love seeing their 2nd grade teachers at lunch time, others want/need a whole different environment. Middle school is rough no matter where you go - almost harder, I think at private schools where the smaller number of students and personalities create a perfect environment for "fussing." Finally, when you have little ones ALL high schools seem "wild." Its hard to imagine that your little one will one day drive a car, go to the movies with friends, get exposed to drugs and alcohol (this is just as much a problem at private schools....kids are kids). Elementary school is a breeze compared to the pressures of high school... I miss it....

[north_raleigh_spa_mom]

I have received quite a few PM's asking about which school I chose and which schools I looked at and didn't choose.
We chose Ravenscroft. It's great for our family. But, just like any school it may not be ideal for everyone.
I wanted to share what I learned because I felt certain about where I would send my kids to school until I did a lot of research and learned that the school I thought was ideal was not the best for our family.
Remember start EARLY!
I'd love someone to post details about getting scholarships or financial aid for private schools. I think it could be very helpful to others.