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I probably would not let me kid (if I had one) go in this day and age. When I was 15 I would go to all ages shows in Durham at Under the Street and some other small venues, but that was 19 years ago and not in a big downtown area.
I would say, go with her. I have been to all ages shows and seen kids with their parents there, just hang in the back.
Tell her you won't let her go because you don't condone the message of the music. Simple as that. It's not your job to be cool.
And I wouldn't let my 15 year old go to Lincoln Theater alone. I'd go with, or he/she wouldn't be going at all. It's not like there's someone there looking out for youngsters in a club full of drunk strangers.
I also know the owner, and he has done a good job at making a good venue...smoking only allowed upstairs for example. When I have been, they have been very strict on alcohol, and I have even seen them question people drinking it when they were obviously underage and got it from someone else.
I have my first child on the way, and I think this would be one of the tests to see how I did with my parenting skills. Do I trust myself that I did a good job raising a good person and if a situation arises that she will call for help, say "no," or w do whatever she needs to do? As for the music, let her experience what it is like. I was raised on everything from the Beatles to Guns N Roses to Snoop Dogg, and my parents let me figure out what I liked and what I did not. It seems to me to be the best way.
I have been to a few shows of artist like this and you would be surprised to find out that there will be people there just like you (I saw my banker one time and couldn't believe it), they will have 15 year old kids they love, and they won't let anything happening that shouldn't be. I like the above poster who mentioned you taking her and picking her up, at least it sets boundaries.
Like you, I think the particular "singer" (I really don't consider rap "singing") is more the issue than the theatre, which is probably fine (though it is on the border of a not-so-great part of town). Perhaps wait until another "tamer" act comes, and then let her go to that?
Don't worry about being "the mean Mom"--she'll have the rest of her life to go to concerts and stuff. This one, in particular, doesn't sound like a great introduction the the "grown-up world".
I trust my OWN child not to drink, I just don't trust older strangers who have been drinking to not mess with my child!
I am not trying to sell anyone on the place, but it is not shady at all. Again, you will be surprised that people just like you (or me for that matter) like that music and will be there. I have seen it with my own eyes and was amazed. I am not saying that they will come to someones rescue, but if an adult is needed, they are around. If all else fails, ask to see the owner or manager. The bouncers at more raucous events that I have been to there has been pretty top notch. I am too old for that stuff and don't want to be around it, and haven't had a problem before.
I sooo appreciate all your comments and helpful suggestions.
I really did WANT to feel that it was ok to allow her to go. The problems that I see are that she is in an environment that I don't think is appropriate for a 15 year old: drinking, smoking and being with others that are older that are legal to drink and smoke and could possibly be drunk. She is 15 and I don't feel that she is SAFE in that environment.
Going with her would be a good alternative, if I could stand to hear that band play. The problem there is not I can't go along with that type of foul language and I don't really think it is appropriate for a 15 year old, even though I know she listens to that music.
So...the answer is that she isn't going. I'm sure you will hear her screaming!
Oh, I totally know it's NOT a bad place. As I mentioned in my first post, my husband and I have been there to see shows ourselves and really enjoyed it. It's just that young teens are still learning how to deal with situations and at that age, I'm not sure they always know the right way way to handle things if things get out of control with other people, especially people who have been drinking. IMO, it's just putting the child in an unnecessary situation alone. If she were a little older, I'm sure I'd let her go see a show.
It really has NOTHING to do wih the actual venue for me! I still don't want my young teen hanging out in bars unsupervised. I would have no problem with going with her though and if she really wants to see a show badly enough, at 14, those are her options!
I'm sure she'll get over it. Once she's 18, she'll have the rest of her life to decide who to listen to and not listen to. Until then, it's your job to point her in the right direction.
There was a time, not that long ago, when I was 15 and would have been irate at my mom "not getting it" if she didn't let me do these sorts of things. Now look at me. I'm just as uncool as she was. Hopefully, your kid will turn out just as well!
I sooo appreciate all your comments and helpful suggestions.
I really did WANT to feel that it was ok to allow her to go. The problems that I see are that she is in an environment that I don't think is appropriate for a 15 year old: drinking, smoking and being with others that are older that are legal to drink and smoke and could possibly be drunk. She is 15 and I don't feel that she is SAFE in that environment.
Going with her would be a good alternative, if I could stand to hear that band play. The problem there is not I can't go along with that type of foul language and I don't really think it is appropriate for a 15 year old, even though I know she listens to that music.
So...the answer is that she isn't going. I'm sure you will hear her screaming!
Vicki
I have been to the lincoln theater (and a ton of other similar small venues) and I can tell you that it is not a place for 15 yr old girls...especially with the type of crowd that this band will draw.
IMO, you are making the right decision. The only other option would be to go with her (like you said). I don't blame you for not wanting to do that either.
Thank god I don't have a 15 yr old daughter.
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