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Oh, the Subaru isn't really a status symbol, but from the instant I got behind the wheel I felt the car really defined me, spoke to me, empowered me to be the person I longed to be. We are the perfect couple. I've never had a relationship with a car like that before! And yes, I feel a kinship with other Subaru drivers.
Have you ever listened to Car Talk on NPR? Someone calls in and in 30 seconds of conversation those guys can tell what kind of car that person drives. So I like to think that in the first 30 seconds of meeting me, you could tell I drive a Subaru Forester.
Of course, I would LOVE to join the Prius cult and ascend to a higher level, but the back end of the Prius wouldn't hold all the camping equipment plus the dog, and here in NY I get some use out of the four wheel drive for my snowy commute. Maybe I'll marry a man with a Prius and we'll be the perfect two car family!
What's funny about this is that about 3 years ago, my daughter's group of friends ALL drove Subaru Foresters - it was definitely a status symbol of sorts to that particular group of educated young marrieds living in an expensive town in New England trying to show everyone they didn't need a Lexus or BMW.
I agree with you about Cary as the reference point for civilized society. However, I don't get negative backlash about the thought of moving to NC. Here in NY it is considered wildly desirable to move south if you can. Taxes are sky high, unemployment rising...I do not live in the land of opportunity.
Most of the folks who stay here are native to the area. If they do go south, they come back homesick. I'm from NC, then VA, never wanted to move here, never wanted to stay. People like me move away and don't come back!
PS, I'm not bashing my own area,which is why I'm not even going to specify it. I'm just feeling like I'm running out of opportunities here for my own goals...
A move like this is a chicken/egg sort of thing. Find a house, then a job? Find a job, then a house?
OH NO!!!! You just opened up a can of worms.
In all honestly, it sounds like you already have somewhat of an opinion about Cary and if you see it that way, you will not like it. When people move, they need to be open minded out the area. If you think that Cary will be boring or it will be all the same, then that is what it will be for you. If you come with no particular opinion, then you may be able to see it for all the great things it is. We moved to Durham first, SW Durham that is. It was a great area to learn the Triangle from and I highly suggest the same thing for you. After learning the area, we decided that the negative things we heard about Cary we complete rubbish, so we sold and moved to Cary. It was wonderful. Now mainly because of what we see happening in our country and our fear of what the future will bring, we decided to move to what can be our permanent home now. Unfortunately, it's not in Cary simple because everything we wanted would not fit into the budget we set for ourselves. However, that doesn't meant we don't still love Cary. You may or may not, but I can almost guarantee that if you choose to live in Cary first, based on your concerns, you will probably develop a feeling of not liking it. I highly suggest you rent in SW Durham first and learn for yourself what areas you do and do not like in the Triangle.
If you spend a day driving around the areas which have been mentioned--Cary, SW Durham, Chapel Hill, Carrboro, and perhaps a few others, you will right away see how different they are and may find that one "speaks to you" more than another.
We did this, planned on looking in the above areas as well as N.Raleigh, and ITB. After a weekend of driving around, we knew we would not consider Cary or N. Raleigh, that we loved ITB and Chapel Hill, and that parts of SW Durham and Carrboro were great too. We ended up in Chapel Hill for a number of reasons (including the smaller town feel, the great school district without all the Wake redistricting,etc). As we got to know the area better and went to Cary and N.Raleigh to friends' houses, it confirmed for us that we had made the right decision. But, we had friends in Cary and N. Raleigh who had lived in Chapel Hill and didn't like it as much as they liked Cary. There are a lot of great areas, and it's just what appeals to you. You'll see some of the differences right away.
The other town I love and would have considered, had known about it when we moved to NC, is Hillsborough.
I don't think you can go terribly wrong anywhere in the triangle and there are good people everywhere, so my guess is you'd be happy anywhere. But my suggestion, based on the subaru and other comments, would be to check out Chapel Hill and Carrboro if you can afford it, and maybe also Hillsborough and SW Durham. Cary is a nice town too--not bashing it!
If you spend a day driving around the areas which have been mentioned--Cary, SW Durham, Chapel Hill, Carrboro, and perhaps a few others, you will right away see how different they are and may find that one "speaks to you" more than another.
Oh how true this is. When we drive into any development, we get an "instant" yes or no feeling. It just hits you. I hope the OP has time to see everywhere. That's the hardest part. As much as I love Cary, there are only a limited amount of neighborhoods that give me that feeling of "I have to live here". You may love a particular town overall, but when it comes to where you will "buy" and 'live", that's a whole different ballgame and I totally agree with frogandtoad about how each neighborhood will speak to you.
Carlton, You misunderstand, I'm not freaking out about Cary itself, I'm freaking out about the entire process of uprooting my life and my children and moving to another state and having us all survive and thrive in the process. For a single mom, a simple summer vacation can seem like a HUGE operation! Moving? makes my stomach lurch. The recommendations I've gotten such as SW Durham, downtown Cary, Inside the Beltline (Lake Boone, Dixie) and Carpenter's Village, all sound interesting for their own reasons.
I grew up in NC, my brothers went to Chapel Hill, I never thought I'd live anywhere else than NC. And as for issues that people mention such as school district issues and traffic, etc---they don't intimidate me, we moved to Northern Virginia when I was 17 and if you can learn to live/commute on the DC beltway, you can handle NC.
Carlton, You misunderstand, I'm not freaking out about Cary itself, I'm freaking out about the entire process of uprooting my life and my children and moving to another state and having us all survive and thrive in the process. For a single mom, a simple summer vacation can seem like a HUGE operation! Moving? makes my stomach lurch. The recommendations I've gotten such as SW Durham, downtown Cary, Inside the Beltline (Lake Boone, Dixie) and Carpenter's Village, all sound interesting for their own reasons.
I grew up in NC, my brothers went to Chapel Hill, I never thought I'd live anywhere else than NC. And as for issues that people mention such as school district issues and traffic, etc---they don't intimidate me, we moved to Northern Virginia when I was 17 and if you can learn to live/commute on the DC beltway, you can handle NC.
Trust me on this. Take it one step at a time. DO NOT think about the entire process. Think of each item that must be done as a task and complete them as you go. The entire process can be overwhelming, but if you break it into individual steps or tasks, it is much easier to handle. The end result will be worth it, for you and especially for your kids. I think it says a lot about the quality mom you are, to take this step for your children. They are very lucky kids.
You might like some of the older neighborhoods closer to downtown Cary. They are walkable and friendly. As others have suggested, I'd also look at Durham, definitely SW Durham and you might be interested in some of the more downtown neighborhoods too. If you don't mind going a little distance from Morrisville (30 min) you might also like Hillsborough.
I second Hillsborough if 30 minutes isn't too far. It's a great small historic town that you should definitely check out while down here.
If I were you, I would rent for several months so I could make sure I had ample time to find a town and neighborhood I liked, school district I liked, close enough but far enough away from the ex, let your kids explore the area a bit. I live in central Cary and love it, but there are also lots of other parts of the triangle I like just as much and it would really take some time to get a feel for them all.
Maybe you could rent in Cary for a couple of months because of it's proximity to Morrisville and you can take advantage of your ex being close by to watch the kids while you explore!
I would suggest Apex. The people are EXTREMELY friendly, the schools are fantastic and the downtown is very cute. I moved here 3 years ago and it was rated the nicest small town in North Carolina by North Carolinians. I love the area. You are close to Morrisville, Raleigh and not far from Durham.
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