Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It may take a few days or a week for everyone to get settled into their new daily routines and start letting their guard down a little and be more open to developing new friendships.
I always remember an old saying that if you want a friend, be a friend. Someone has to take the first step and a simple "Hello" to a fellow classmate could eventually develop into a long lasting friendship.
Younglife is a Christian group that many students in WCPSS schools are involved in. Take it or leave it, if it's not your thing. Wouldn't work for me, but I know many who are very active and they have some really fun things to do.
Also, your daughter might try talking to a couple kids, or even mentioning to her teacher that she's new (on the down low, of course). My teacher friends always pay attention to the 'new kid' if they know they're new, and can steer them towards like minded peers who can be a conduit to more intros.
I was an Army brat until I was way into my teens and back then we moved every 2 years. Life was hell for the new kid in the school over and over again. Alot of us can relate to your daughter's situation.
Many on here are parents of kids at your daughter's school. If each one of us would ask our kids to notice the "alone at lunch kid" and try to include them, it might make a difference. We moved here with only 5 weeks of school left last year. My first graders were nervous and one is especially shy. But some other kids started to include her and she made a few friends before school was out. Now she feels like she is starting all over again as we had no contact with her 1st grade friends during the summer. I keep reminding her it takes time and for her to find ther new kid and try to make them feel included.
Again I say to all parents: As you send your kid off to school tomorrow, just remind them to look for the NEW kid or LONELY kid and reach out to that kid. You have to know it would mean so much to a scared kid for just 1 other kid to be kind.
I was an Army brat until I was way into my teens and back then we moved every 2 years. Life was hell for the new kid in the school over and over again. Alot of us can relate to your daughter's situation.
Many on here are parents of kids at your daughter's school. If each one of us would ask our kids to notice the "alone at lunch kid" and try to include them, it might make a difference. We moved here with only 5 weeks of school left last year. My first graders were nervous and one is especially shy. But some other kids started to include her and she made a few friends before school was out. Now she feels like she is starting all over again as we had no contact with her 1st grade friends during the summer. I keep reminding her it takes time and for her to find ther new kid and try to make them feel included.
Again I say to all parents: As you send your kid off to school tomorrow, just remind them to look for the NEW kid or LONELY kid and reach out to that kid. You have to know it would mean so much to a scared kid for just 1 other kid to be kind.
This sounds so simple, but is one of the kindest reminders I have heard in a long time! Thanks to all who know this is not only tough on the kids, but is tough on us parents also. Best of luck to all of you who have children feeling a bit lost these first few days!
Hi
we moved to Clayton 2 weeks ago and I could have wrote your post exactly. My daughter started 10th grade yesterday and sat alone at lunch also. She is very athletic, loves books and was very well liked ij RI but the transition is hard in High School.
Hoping some of the girls reach out to here soon, she tried to spark a little conversation but the girls were not very nice. Hopefully she will see a beeter group of girls in some other classes. Being the newbie is not fun.
But folks, it's the FIRST day of school--everybody (veterans) is anxious to see their friends from the previous year, find out what their classes are like, adjust to new schedules, get the gossip...of COURSE new students are going to be ignored at first! This says almost nothing about how they will fare even a month from now, when the newness of the school year wears off and the others start to know them for who they are.
Did your teens truly expect to walk into a new school in a new state and immediately be "part of the herd"? Is that how they treated new students in their old schools? I suspect not (you should remind them of this)...it's natural for people, teens especially, to cluster with the folks they already knew before "going out on a limb" to meet someone new. I say this as one who always had a hard time joining groups (never played sports), myself, and ate many a lunch solo. I never expected people to make the effort to include me; I knew it was up to me to find an "in" with them.
It would be nice if the student govt had something for the new students though. when I was in Student govt in high school, we did get a list of all the new kids and we got "mentor" students who were veterans to show them around, help maneuver the campus, etc. I would think that especially in the high-transplant campuses, this would be something regularly done now.
And, if your kids are artistically or theatrically included, there are some wonderful arts/theatre programs in the area. Usually this kind of group tends toward the sorts of kids who don't fit in as well in many high school activities, so they are more sensitive to making newcomers welcome. And NOTHING takes group teamwork like putting on a show!Or even playing an instrument in band would give her "integration" with folks of a similar interest, right quick.
But folks, it's the FIRST day of school--everybody (veterans) is anxious to see their friends from the previous year, find out what their classes are like, adjust to new schedules, get the gossip...of COURSE new students are going to be ignored at first! This says almost nothing about how they will fare even a month from now, when the newness of the school year wears off and the others start to know them for who they are.
Did your teens truly expect to walk into a new school in a new state and immediately be "part of the herd"? Is that how they treated new students in their old schools? I suspect not (you should remind them of this)...it's natural for people, teens especially, to cluster with the folks they already knew before "going out on a limb" to meet someone new. I say this as one who always had a hard time joining groups (never played sports), myself, and ate many a lunch solo. I never expected people to make the effort to include me; I knew it was up to me to find an "in" with them.
It would be nice if the student govt had something for the new students though. when I was in Student govt in high school, we did get a list of all the new kids and we got "mentor" students who were veterans to show them around, help maneuver the campus, etc. I would think that especially in the high-transplant campuses, this would be something regularly done now.
And, if your kids are artistically or theatrically included, there are some wonderful arts/theatre programs in the area. Usually this kind of group tends toward the sorts of kids who don't fit in as well in many high school activities, so they are more sensitive to making newcomers welcome. And NOTHING takes group teamwork like putting on a show!Or even playing an instrument in band would give her "integration" with folks of a similar interest, right quick.
I think you are missing what the point of my original question was. I can't imagine there is a person out there, who expected to walk in the first day and be Miss/Mr Popular. The point of the question was coming from a mother whose heart was breaking, because her freshman had to leave a large group of friends at home, who she grew up with (just like many other parents have said they had children that also dealt with that.) She used to be very introverted, but really blossomed over the past few years.
Also I was referring to how difficult it is for them and us to struggle through the time it takes to meet other kids.
On a positive note, she came home today and said she met two kids in her classes and they all ate lunch together. They even made tentative plans for after school tomorrow! I hope others had a much better day today, as well!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
new in Clayton
