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I've heard it said, and I concur, that it is much, much harder to meet "lifetime friends" once you're out of college in that "intense" environment. Not 100% true, of course, but there is a lot of truth to it. When you're young, still finding yourself, and around a group of people all the time, naturally you are going to share a lot of things with them, and gravitate towards people you are interested in and away from those you aren't.
Once you're in the working world, responsibilities keep from from just being able to switch whom you associate with if you don't like them, and you have less free time to run around and meet people (and the ones you DO meet also have their own responsibilities, so even if you click, scheduling can get in the way).
I'm in my 40s, and still make new friends quite often, though most of them probably won't be "lifetime friends". I am involved with a LOT of groups that I am interested in, and would be doing even if I didn't know people, but bonding with the folks certainly makes it more enjoyable to do the nonprofit work. Joining a church, sports team, community chorus or orchestra, book club, or Moms group that is something you are interested in anyway will put you around people with at least ONE thing in common with you, and all of these types of groups do "social" things as well. If they don't, suggest it! Start a carpool to go to practice, and you'll get to know those folks pretty fast! I am an introvert by nature, but I still like to have friends who share my interests; the best way to find them is going after the "interest" first, then the "friends" will be there (but at least until then, you're still doing something you find invigorating).
Gosh, I am NOT the only 40+ woman w/out kids having trouble meeting people?! Maybe we should all meet at the mall for coffee someday? I'm in Apex...anyone else close by?
Chrissylove and BayVillage: I think as we get older it is difficult to find genuine friendships. It also takes longer than when we were in our teens and twenties. We moved here 4 years ago and although I've made some nice new friends it isn't the same yet as the one's I had in California.
I recently joined some groups on Meetup.com and am surprised by how many people are also looking for friendship. I still understand that it will take time to develop genuine friendships but I'm enjoying talking with new people and doing a variety of activities for now. My husband is a homebody and I quit working when we moved here (and my youngest is graduating this year) so I have ALOT of free time on my hands so meetup has definitely filled some of the void. You should definitely try it. I'll send you a DM with one of the groups I'm in and hopefully you will decide to attend one of the events. I'd also love to meet for lunch or dinner sometime. Karen
I get along best with 40+ women, and would love to spend all kinds of time talking and just being real with any age women. Good listener, sane, intelligent, great hugs if necessary! But I am afraid my wife would object.
And I am not seeking a hookup either. I am totally into platonic but it may have to wait until the next lifetime.
Gosh, I am NOT the only 40+ woman w/out kids having trouble meeting people?! Maybe we should all meet at the mall for coffee someday? I'm in Apex...anyone else close by?
Since you specifically mentioned "no kids", perhaps it's time for me to again plug No Kidding, a social club for singles and couples who neither have nor want children. Get on their mailing list and see all the events they do, then just show up to a Happy Hour sometime--they're a REALLY cool bunch! And no, they don't sit around complaining about children--in fact, there is simply no mention of them at all, for the most part (which is in itself refreshing for most childless folks).
Francois....I don't know if its the same group, but I read about one that specifically said, "no one who has children can be a member". My husband and I have no children together (I have no children period) but he has a child (20 yrs old and doesn't live with us) from a previous marriage. He didn't like the idea that he could only attend functions as my "guest". I thought it was a little harsh myself. Maybe they didn't intend for it to sound like that...?
Francois....I don't know if its the same group, but I read about one that specifically said, "no one who has children can be a member". My husband and I have no children together (I have no children period) but he has a child (20 yrs old and doesn't live with us) from a previous marriage. He didn't like the idea that he could only attend functions as my "guest". I thought it was a little harsh myself. Maybe they didn't intend for it to sound like that...?
Well, it is for "nonparents" so that is the content of the rule, even if it might have been worded more harshly than it sounded? I don't recall any "membership" process, you just go to events. But technically he would not be considered a "nonparent", of course. You might still enjoy some of the women's book clubs, etc.
Since you specifically mentioned "no kids", perhaps it's time for me to again plug No Kidding, a social club for singles and couples who neither have nor want children. Get on their mailing list and see all the events they do, then just show up to a Happy Hour sometime--they're a REALLY cool bunch! And no, they don't sit around complaining about children--in fact, there is simply no mention of them at all, for the most part (which is in itself refreshing for most childless folks).
maybe that other club can modify it's rules to "no kid talk"
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