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Old 12-15-2009, 10:19 AM
 
360 posts, read 935,241 times
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I have a question about Wake County school policies regarding personal relationships. I am dating my 8 year old's teacher, and we have been hiding the relationship due to the fact that we are under the impression that it is somehow against some rule, however neither of us have been able to find that rule. Does such a rule even exist? If there is no actual rule, I am also curious as to what people think about such a relationship? I have come across some people who actually have a problem with it, who say it's unethical, but really I don't see it that way at all. Any advice on how we ahould handle the situation until my son moves to the next grade?
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Old 12-15-2009, 11:10 AM
 
Location: Marlborough, MA
871 posts, read 2,853,542 times
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Don't know at all about the ethics per the WCPSS (personally I would not worry about that) but ask yourself if, in a successful relationship, would your son benefit inappropriately (shown favoritism) due to the positive relationship?

If your dating turned sour, would the teacher be prone to take it out on your son? These things would bother me more than the "rules" the WCPSS may or may not contrive.

Just think it all through well. The school year will end fast enough.
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Old 12-15-2009, 11:12 AM
 
Location: Raleigh
102 posts, read 300,567 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jmana View Post
I have a question about Wake County school policies regarding personal relationships. I am dating my 8 year old's teacher, and we have been hiding the relationship due to the fact that we are under the impression that it is somehow against some rule, however neither of us have been able to find that rule. Does such a rule even exist? If there is no actual rule, I am also curious as to what people think about such a relationship? I have come across some people who actually have a problem with it, who say it's unethical, but really I don't see it that way at all. Any advice on how we ahould handle the situation until my son moves to the next grade?
Why doesn't she just consult HR/her principal and ask?
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Old 12-15-2009, 11:18 AM
 
515 posts, read 1,632,093 times
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Found this:

Quote:
Nepotism - No employee shall approve any contract with or purchase any goods or services from any immediate family member without disclosure to and approval of the associate superintendent for administrative services. In addition, no employee shall recommend the employment of or directly supervise or evaluate any immediate family member without disclosure to and approval of the assistant superintendent for human resources- staffing and development. Immediate Family includes employee’s spouse, parents, children, stepchildren, brothers, sisters, mother-in-law, father-in-law, sons-in-law, daughters-in-law, brothers-in-law, and sisters-in-law. In addition, for the purpose of this regulation, anyone living in the same household with the employee is considered a member of the immediate family.
Not sure of your relationship degree but if you are livign together then it would definitely require approval per the school ethics.
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Old 12-15-2009, 11:39 AM
 
Location: Marlborough, MA
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If I understand correctly, you are just dating. If you are not living together, I see no conflict with the nepotism policy.
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Old 12-15-2009, 11:51 AM
 
515 posts, read 1,632,093 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eloyfan View Post
If I understand correctly, you are just dating. If you are not living together, I see no conflict with the nepotism policy.
Agreed. I just did not know if they were or not. Just cause they are dating does not rule out living together which is why I posted the information.
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Old 12-15-2009, 12:07 PM
 
Location: Cary
521 posts, read 1,506,266 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Athletic Supporter View Post
Why doesn't she just consult HR/her principal and ask?
"Hi boss, I was wondering -- I mean, my friend was wondering -- if it's okay if I -- I mean she -- dates the father of one of my -- HER, I mean HER! -- students? Just hypothetically, of course..."
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Old 12-15-2009, 12:41 PM
 
6,246 posts, read 15,083,381 times
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I was in the HR field for years. I would not ask HR this question.
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Old 12-15-2009, 12:50 PM
 
360 posts, read 935,241 times
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Thanks for the replies, we don't live together so that shouldn't be an issue, the only problem remaining seems to be that she is worried about what other teachers and parents would think about it. She doesn't favor my son in any way, so really I don't see the problem, but apparently the other teachers love to gossip about other female teachers, but the male employees get away with anything, including adultery, unscathed. I really love her, and it troubles me that she worries so much what others might think, hopefully when she reads the replies here she will see that not everyone has a problem with it! Plus we are careful where we go so nobody at the school would see us together, but sometimes that's easier said than done!
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Old 12-15-2009, 12:59 PM
 
Location: Raleigh, NC
10,565 posts, read 21,049,767 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jmana View Post
Thanks for the replies, we don't live together so that shouldn't be an issue, the only problem remaining seems to be that she is worried about what other teachers and parents would think about it. She doesn't favor my son in any way, so really I don't see the problem, but apparently the other teachers love to gossip about other female teachers, but the male employees get away with anything, including adultery, unscathed. I really love her, and it troubles me that she worries so much what others might think, hopefully when she reads the replies here she will see that not everyone has a problem with it! Plus we are careful where we go so nobody at the school would see us together, but sometimes that's easier said than done!
Knowing how freaked out people can be over anything teachers--especially elementary school teachers--do, I'd continue keeping is as low-key as possible for the rest of the school year. It may be causing inner conflicts with your son that he is not comfortable sharing with you (does her call her "Miss X" or by her first name when you are out socially with her, for example?) In 6 months, it will be much less of an issue, and she probably knows the kinds of things the other teachers (including your son's future teachers in the next couple of years) would say, so I would advise discretion until summer.
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