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I would suggest Cary. There your wife won't stand out (too much).
Chapel Hill and Carrboro, though self-regardingly 'liberal', are very homogeneous. If you go to one of these places, prepare your wife to be asked (friendly-like) about her accent 2 or 3 times a day.
I'm subbing to this thread largely because I had some of the same questions. Now, my family is so white as to be nearly translucent , but I want my kids to have friends that don't look exactly like them. Having lived in the DC area for a number of years and then multiple locations due to marrying a military guy, I want an area with some diversity so my kids understand there is more to the world.
My DH is retiring from the military this summer and we're looking around at areas where we'll settle for real. Finally! And I've had my eye on the Raleigh-Durham area for awhile as a possible great fit for us. Thanks for this helpful post.
I don't have a very strong natural voice, and so I spend at least half an hour a day exercising my voice.
It's nice to be accepted, but sometimes accents are charming and sometimes they are opaque. If the latter is the case, said person ought to exert a little effort to learn how to better cooperate with the people with whom he/she is communicating.
Its good here. Sure there are the pick up driving redneck types, but when you really get down to it, they are great people. The others are from aall over the country who moved here. Its all good.
I agree with most everyone else--the key is to find a neighborhood with a diverse population. I also suggest finding one with lots of "outsiders"--non-natives to the area. The reason I say this is that there's a pretty decidedly hostile attitude among many natives towards all the people who have moved here in recent years, and you AND your wife could be on the receiving end of eye-rolling. I say this not unsympathetically--it has to have been quite shocking and upsetting for thousands to have watched their beloved city grow the way it has, much of the time awkwardly and with more than a bit of sprawl and disorder. But if you're not going to be welcomed, you probably don't want to live there.
This can be hard to locate--we feel lucky that we did. We are in Morrisville, which is RTP-adjacent, and therefore we have a lot of high-tech folk and people from all over--India, Pakistan, Africa, Slovakia, Thailand, as well as a portion of folks from NY, CA, FL, and diverse races and inter-racial families as well. We LOVE that and love the diversity of our children's school as well.
We are very happy here and grateful for the opportunity to live here. I was really unsure, as I was very happy where we lived before, and the adjustment WAS hard, no doubt about that. But two years later we couldn't be happier and love our neighborhood, our neighbors, and our schools. We feel like where we live is more open-minded and accepting of folks than anywhere else we've lived, which includes mid-town Atlanta, Boston, and 2 Florida cities.
"We are in NW Cary near Morrisville and I have NEVER lived in an area with such diverse peoples. We have enjoyed this experience and know that our children are richer for the exposure to so many cultures. While living here we have made friends from Italy, UK, Germany, Korea, Sweden, New York (ha, ha! Had to add that land of wonders!), Ireland, Africa, Colombia, and India. Probably more, and no offense meant if I left anyone off!"
Garsh, I forgot to add that my next-door neighbors are Portuguese/South African and British! Don't want to leave anyone out
Last edited by Green Irish Eyes; 04-05-2010 at 06:49 AM..
Reason: Just fixed the quote coding
I agree with most everyone else--the key is to find a neighborhood with a diverse population. I also suggest finding one with lots of "outsiders"--non-natives to the area. The reason I say this is that there's a pretty decidedly hostile attitude among many natives towards all the people who have moved here in recent years, and you AND your wife could be on the receiving end of eye-rolling. I say this not unsympathetically--it has to have been quite shocking and upsetting for thousands to have watched their beloved city grow the way it has, much of the time awkwardly and with more than a bit of sprawl and disorder. But if you're not going to be welcomed, you probably don't want to live there.
As the natives are the minority here, I don't think it will be too difficult to find a place that's mostly ppl from elsewhere, although I don't know how you'd know for sure without conducting your own census. Now of course the best way to avoid them is to not move here Sorry, couldn't resist it sounded funny, come here but don't live near natives. I am not from here and have never run into a problem with "natives", as they've always been accepting and most gracious.
I recently read that the population here has grown 40% since 2000. Now unless "natives" have been procreating at an extraordinary rate, I'd say this # is attributed to non natives moving here. So, come on down!
So here's my situation...
I was born in California and lived there for 20 of my 41 years. I mostly lived in the progressive NorCal area and as such my world view tends to lean liberal, but in reality I firmly believe that politics, like religion is a personal opinion that no one has the right to judge or criticize. I just ask, as I believe most people would expect, that people respect my opinion just as I would theirs and leave it at that.
So back in 2005 we moved from NorCal to Atlanta to follow a job and for the most part it has worked out well for me aside from the decidedly consevative leanings of most people here. But I've met some good people here and you can't beat the cost of living here. My wife on the other hand has not enjoyed as much as I have. My wife is Russian well educated and while she has a bit of an accent fluently speaks english and can easily be understood by most people.
Unfortunatley our life in Atlanta has not been a happy experience for my wife because she had a hard time finding work and a lot of people have treated her badly because she is foreign and act as if she is stupid because they can't understand her accent. This was never a problem in California because there is such a huge amount of diversity there that practically everyone is from somewhere else. So this move to Atlanta has not been a happy one for her and has tainted the whole 'Southern' experience in her eyes.
Now I have an opportunity to move to the Raleigh/Durham area for a promotion with my current work. I've heard a lot of good things about the area and that it is a bit more progressive than most areas of the south and has more of the 'live and let live' attitude that I adhere to. I'm eager to give it a go, but my wife understandedly is a bit hesitant about going through the same BS there as she has had to endure here.
So my question to you all is how likely is my wife to encounter these types of attitudes in the Raleigh Durham area and which areas do you think are more accepting of foreigners? Thanks to all that respond as I do value your input.
I am not sure if your question is still valid. I am also from North Cali and Russian is my native language. The area we are in (Triangle) is very liberal, Chapel Hill is a mini California. If your wife wants to connect and ask questions, a couple of years ago i started a group for Russian speaking ladies in Triangle Research region. Its bout 2k people now (my estimate is 10000 ppl community) Group is super friendly, has many Californian expats, and people are very open to all sorts of questions. She can fine us at http://facebook.com/groups/DevichnikNC
This doesn't have to do with ethnic/racial attitudes, but another (imperfect yet useful) proxy for "open" attitudes/"live and let live" beliefs is the amount of support for same-sex marriage. These data are a bit old, but this map of the U.S. shows the county-level vote for same-sex marriage referendums when they've come on the ballot:
As you can see, the area around the Triangle is one of the few places in the South that showed majority support for same-sex marriage. In fact, the vote in Orange County, NC (Chapel Hill) was more pro-same-sex marriage than many parts of the San Francisco Bay Area. You'll also notice that nowhere in the Atlanta metro. area came close.
I used to work at the public library in the heart of Raleigh. I live very close to NCSU. I work in a school in Apex, NC, very suburban. I encounter speakers of all kinds of languages every day. It's awesome!
I have assumed that it is due to the proximity of major universities + Research Triangle Park that draws folks from all over.
Come up to visit!
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, but I want my kids to have friends that don't look exactly like them. Having lived in the DC area for a number of years and then multiple locations due to marrying a military guy, I want an area with some diversity so my kids understand there is more to the world. 
Thanks for this helpful post.
Sorry, couldn't resist it sounded funny, come here but don't live near natives. I am not from here and have never run into a problem with "natives", as they've always been accepting and most gracious. 
