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Hi,
This may be another one of those threads about relocation and I apologize in advance if it's too much, lol. My hubby and I have visited your area several times and really like it. Hubby has a job when he's ready to come down, and I already have gotten my RN license in NC and when I've contacted area hospitals they want me to interview (I have more thqan 10 yrs experience in NYC). Thing is I am SCARED to death of the move. Where I live in NYC, it is expensive, huge entitlement issues and just so, ugh, unfriendly. We have 3 daughters left home, two little ones and want better for them.
Moving to NC means less salary, but also 1/3 the mortgage too. We would be leaving my parents and sister here as they aren't moving. That makes me feel nervous and very guilty too as my parents are in their 70's and I have never lived away from them like that before.
I'd like to hear from anyone that has made the move with family far away, etc. :-) I don't want my fear and guilt from keeping us from a better life.
There are a lot of us here who left "home" behind at some point in our past, and now have relationships with our families that are separated by distance. It does add challenges, and it does mean forgoing some of the family traditions at holidays and the like. You have to decide for yourself whether having family close and having those connections is too important for you to move away. If you're not truly committed to the move, I do fear the results won't be positive. But if you are, this is a wonderful place to be, and a wonderful place to raise children. And I know in my own case, I've built new traditions with my kids that we had to do on our own because we weren't able to join the family every year in what they were doing. I do think it's very possible to move to a new place and be very happy, and many of us transplants here are living proof of that.
Moving to NC means less salary, but also 1/3 the mortgage too. We would be leaving my parents and sister here as they aren't moving. That makes me feel nervous and very guilty too as my parents are in their 70's and I have never lived away from them like that before.
I'd like to hear from anyone that has made the move with family far away, etc. :-) I don't want my fear and guilt from keeping us from a better life.
It's hard to place a value on having friends and family near, but naturally someone has tried... in his book, Who's Your City, social scientist Richard Florida cites a study conducted by a University of London researcher who found that the tradeoff between being in close proximity to friends and family and income is worth around $130,000. That is, you would need to make $130,000 more a year to be as happy at a distance.
We moved from NJ 5 years ago and love it BUT as CHTransplant stated... you need to honest with yourself regarding the distance. My parent's are also in their 70's and we see them about twice a year. I make a trip up in the Spring and then they try to come down in the Fall. Other family memebers....don't be surpised if they won't visit much. We expected it to some extent and where not that surpised that it worked out that way. We've had people here and there visit but it's not a set thing. But for us, the day to day commute, expense of living there was more stress than having family close by. Neither way of thinking is better... I completely understand if you are close with your family. If the distance is an issue....moving to ANY state far from NY will be miserable.
RN's down here I've heard make decent money... not sure what they make in NYC but to even make 50-60k here is good! You will pay less with property taxes and house prices , but food , gas etc are the same. The ideal situation for most is to make a good enough profit on your home so when you buy something here it's a very small mortgage. Some people make me laugh when they spend a lot on a house here, have a big payment and in reality not making their lives easier. Yes, you can get more house for the money but the trick is to minimize your costs and keep more in your pocket...just my .02.
We moved from NJ 5 years ago and love it BUT as CHTransplant stated... you need to honest with yourself regarding the distance. My parent's are also in their 70's and we see them about twice a year. I make a trip up in the Spring and then they try to come down in the Fall. Other family memebers....don't be surpised if they won't visit much. We expected it to some extent and where not that surpised that it worked out that way. We've had people here and there visit but it's not a set thing. But for us, the day to day commute, expense of living there was more stress than having family close by. Neither way of thinking is better... I completely understand if you are close with your family. If the distance is an issue....moving to ANY state far from NY will be miserable.
RN's down here I've heard make decent money... not sure what they make in NYC but to even make 50-60k here is good! You will pay less with property taxes and house prices , but food , gas etc are the same. The ideal situation for most is to make a good enough profit on your home so when you buy something here it's a very small mortgage. Some people make me laugh when they spend a lot on a house here, have a big payment and in reality not making their lives easier. Yes, you can get more house for the money but the trick is to minimize your costs and keep more in your pocket...just my .02.
Agreed. If you sustain and equivalent lifestyle upon your move, you will reap the financial benefits you seek. However, often transferees will significantly upgrade their lives. This can work if you move your job and your salary (which some are able to do) but not a wise move for those whose relocation comes with a pay cut.
The biggest differences in costs of living will come from housing and property taxes. I hear horror stories all the time of folks living in middle income housing in NY paying 10K+ a year in property taxes alone! From what I gather, similar homes in the Triangle can often be had for less money and 1/4 the property taxes. That is, of course, if we are comparing the NYC metro prices to the Triangle. Comparing to Upstate is another story altogether. Often the prices of homes here are more but the taxes are significantly less. I don't know if the monthly outlay evens out in a move from upstate NY to the Triangle. I am sure there are others who can tell us.
It's hard to place a value on having friends and family near, but naturally someone has tried... in his book, Who's Your City, social scientist Richard Florida cites a study conducted by a University of London researcher who found that the tradeoff between being in close proximity to friends and family and income is worth around $130,000. That is, you would need to make $130,000 more a year to be as happy at a distance.
I call shenanigans... this seems like a number that was taken out of context. I couldn't find any mention of the referenced study through the magic of google, but did find some excerpts from "Who's Your City" and it sounds like the whole premise of his book is to take a good look at what part of the country, or the world, you could be happiest in, which is exactly what Kidnurze is doing:
I don't know how that study may have come to a figure of $130K, does that assume you aren't capable of making any new friends in the place you move to, and that your family isn't allowed to visit? And what exactly do you buy for $130K a year that offsets that? I can't think of any job that would pay you $130K more a year based solely on location, unless you're CEO level, so does that mean you should never leave friends/family?
We moved from NJ to NC about 2.5 years ago as a lifestyle change for our family with two very young girls. We left great friends behind, we left family behind, and we moved to an area where we only knew a couple of people casually, none that we would call a friend.
And it's been a GREAT change for us. If we still lived in NJ, my kid's grandparents would have visited a couple times a month for 2-3 hours tops. Now they come down and stay with us a couple of times a year, for a week at a time. So we see them less frequently, but for much longer "quality" periods of time. We've got houseguests maybe once a month as our "Yankee friends" pass through on their way to some southern destination. And oh yeah, we've made a ton of friends down here.
Was it scary? Heck yeah. Was it worth it? HECK YEAH. The first few months weren't easy, not having an emergency support network, it was just us, no backup. But we now have some very good friends that wouldn't hesitate to help if we needed it.
It's all about priorities. We're still pretty amazed none of our NJ friends have moved down, or at least given it great consideration. But by and large, most people are too comfortable in the area they know, too frightened by the unknown, to consider moving family to a "faraway" place, even if it could mean a better life. What works for some doesn't for others. (And BTW you can frequently find direct flights from RDU to NY for about $200 r/t.)
We 'ran away from home' three years ago and my parents (in their 80's) remain in Southern CA. Bottom line is . .your first and foremost obligation is to your husband and children so try to lay the guilt aside . . you are a grown woman now. It was difficult at first but three years later we love it and we've actually never spoken more than we do now. Something about leaving that has made us even closer and I realize that sounds bizarre.
I call shenanigans... this seems like a number that was taken out of context. I couldn't find any mention of the referenced study through the magic of google, but did find some excerpts from "Who's Your City" and it sounds like the whole premise of his book is to take a good look at what part of the country, or the world, you could be happiest in, which is exactly what Kidnurze is doing:
And, you're right about the premise of Florida's book, which is also a very interesting read. For me the takeaway point is that if you go to a place hoping to save some money or even make a bit more, but will not have the same social connections to friends and/or family that you had before, then you're probably not going to be as happy. Or, if you're pining for those old ties, then the transition is going to be more difficult. However, as CarolinaDreaming points out, if you can make new friends and make connections to replace the ones that you lost, then it can work out.
I left Rochester, NY, 17 years ago. You are correct to worry. Leaving everyone you know is a big deal.
If at all possible, if you can do the following things, you should:
1. Plan to visit your family and friends twice a year. There are friends and relatives who do not "connect" long distance. You must visit. Friends -- and relatives you enjoy -- should be treasured. Make plans to treasure them.
If you can't visit twice a year, visit at least once a year, but don't let a year go by. If you can't afford flying, then drive, and stay with friends and relatives.
2. Get an unlimited long distance plan. Unlimited long distance plans allow you the freedom to "visit" and chat at any time. If your parents can afford it, have them sign up for such a plan. My sister and I both have unlimited long distance, and we talk all the time. We are just as close as ever, we just don't know what each other looks like at any given time.
3. If you can swing it at all, and if your parents are cool with it, set them up with laptops and inexpensive Internet, a webcam (if not already part of the laptop) and Skype. You sign up for Skype, too. It's FREE! At any time, you can SEE each other and talk to each other.
If they want to sign up for Skype's long-distance plan where they can call your cell phone or land line, it's only $2.95 a month, unlimited.
If parents can't visit you, and you can't visit them, Skype is the next best thing. Set it up before you leave and make sure they know how to use it.
--
Most of the visits I've made to Rochester, sadly, have been for funerals. During those gatherings, it's been like a "This is Your Life" type of experience for me. I'm reminded of all the truly wonderful people who were part of my life, and it makes me sad that I didn't make a greater effort to visit and reconnect with everyone over the years.
When you move here, you should make a concerted effort to meet new people. Sometimes it's not easy. You'll meet people at work. You can try Meetup.com. Get involved with your neighborhood. Volunteer. There are ways. It's just not as simple as you may have remembered it was back home.
But eventually you'll start calling NC home. Good luck!
Agreed. If you sustain and equivalent lifestyle upon your move, you will reap the financial benefits you seek. However, often transferees will significantly upgrade their lives. This can work if you move your job and your salary (which some are able to do) but not a wise move for those whose relocation comes with a pay cut.
The biggest differences in costs of living will come from housing and property taxes. I hear horror stories all the time of folks living in middle income housing in NY paying 10K+ a year in property taxes alone! From what I gather, similar homes in the Triangle can often be had for less money and 1/4 the property taxes. That is, of course, if we are comparing the NYC metro prices to the Triangle. Comparing to Upstate is another story altogether. Often the prices of homes here are more but the taxes are significantly less. I don't know if the monthly outlay evens out in a move from upstate NY to the Triangle. I am sure there are others who can tell us.
Upstate, NY has cheaper home prices with higher property taxes than NC so monthly payments are about a wash. Slightly lower COL in Upstate NY in our personal experience. But this poster is coming from the NYC region which no matter how you cut it is definitely more expensive than NC and Upstate NY...probably more expensive than both of those areas combined! lol
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