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Think about how you live and use space: Do you two need space apart from one another? Do one or the other of you have odd sleep patterns? Do you have overnight guests? Can you share a bathroom, or do you need your own?
The first place I lived with my spouse was a two-room apartment. I hated not having anywhere to practice yoga, and he didn't like having to be quiet when he couldn't sleep in the middle of the night.
We moved into a 1250 square foot house, each of us with our own spaces, and missed the coziness of the apartment. Go figure.
Agree with many others ... Manderly6 put it most succinctly, there is no magical answer or formula.
I live by myself (except for regular houseguests and an SO who will probably move in at some point) and my house is a bit over 2,400 square feet. I bought the house because of the neighborhood, the lot, and the house itself -- I actually wished the house were SMALLER, but it's what was on the lot! (The lot is very very quiet & private, 1.25+ acres but city water/sewer -- which was very important to me.) I moved from a much smaller house (~1,600 square feet) that was on a regular city lot (.23 acre) -- I wanted more privacy and space and I got it here. Haven't regretted it for a second.
Our place is a touch over 4,000 square feet. it was perfect while raising three kids. Now that we're empty nesters we're thinking of selling and downsizing a bit. We think about 3,000' with a nice guest house. We prefer single story, mission-hacienda style houses, with living areas and master looking out to the pool area.
buy a size of house you are willing and able to clean yourself completely on your own is my first advice
second is I never understand why people buy houses with spare rooms just buy a house with the bedrooms you will use the whole year , third is if you are into lots of hobbies remember you need a hobbies/crafts room
nr 4 if there is a garden same story can you maintain upkeep take care of the garden all by yourself
nr 5 the kitchen not too small not too big , very practical etc
is the house itself easy to clean and maintain ?
It's not about a number, it's about the layout and how the sqft it used.
Many people overlook this when looking at homes and it is so true. I have a 5 bedroom house with an office that is right at 2500 sq ft living area and it is certainly roomy enough and when I was designing it I looked at many 2500 sq ft, 3 bedroom homes, that seemed much smaller and certainly had much smaller bedrooms.
Some homes are built with so much lost area it is amazing. I have 1 hallway in my house that is 8 ft long and about 3 ft wide, 24 ft of lost area, that is all. Many homes you see will have some areas you just look at and wonder what you are supposed to do with it, not big enough to utilize for anything but just big enough you need to stick something extra there just to fill up the space.
The small bedrooms in my home are 13X15 while most of the homes I looked at for ideas had bedrooms that were 12X11, not nearly enough room for a bed, dresser, desk, etc. But those homes still boasted the 2500 sq ft living area.
Several years ago, I downsized from a large 2-story to a small house just under 1200sq. I live alone, but, another person could live here (not that I want anyone else here.). The closets are large and there's lots of storage space. Central heat and air.
There is no such thing as too big! Im a family of 4 - 2 kids....Were in the process of building now - going from 2700sqft to 6000. 6,000 is actually more than I want, by about 1000ft, but in the area I am moving to - 6000 ft is actually one of the smaller properties...B/C its a completely custom home, I dont want to kill my resale by effectively building a tear down if I ever have to move.
Your home should be comfortable to you, but not be an outlier in the neighborhood. You don't want the largest home b/c the largest most expensive is hard to sell, but you do not want the smallest home either b/c the smallest homes can, in some cases end up being someone elses tear down.
It sounds to me that if you are buying for the lot and the privacy, then I would just ensure that the house you buy or build does not end up being the next person's tear down....You dont want to reduce your asset to lot value.
A lot of it depends on you and your partner and your personal space needs as well. For instance, my DH & I don't require a lot of 'personal space' (we don't need separate offices, entertainment areas, etc) from each other so for 3 years we got by on a 800sqft Duplex. We're currently in a 2200+sqft house (including finished basement area) but we're expecting a baby and plan on this being our 'forever' home.
If you think your family size will grow, then definitely opt for bigger- but evaluate your lifestyle and your preferences first. Personally, I couldn't imagine cleaning 2500+ sqft and keeping it immaculate to my standards! With that said though, you've got to do what's best for you
Good luck!
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we're thinking of selling and downsizing a bit. We think about 3,000' with a nice guest house. We prefer single story, mission-hacienda style houses, with living areas and master looking out to the pool area. 
