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About 15-20 years ago, my FIL built a custom home about 45 minutes from the city in which he and his wife worked. It was closer to his aging MIL and church, had about an acre of land and included a MIL guest house. The idea was that his MIL would move in as she became less mobile, and she would still have her own space. He used "aging-in-place" guidelines in the guest house (wider doorways, no steps, bracing in bathrooms, etc.)
Well, she hated that guest house and the thought of living with someone else, so she never moved in and died a few years ago. That brand new guest house has rarely been used, and he and his wife spent the last 15-20 years driving 1.5 hours round trip each day to work.
So while it didn't work out for him, my advice would be to get the input of everyone involved in this decision and make sure they're all on board with this potential purchase.
I couldn't agree more. When I was married, my ex kept talking about building a compound - a super-sized rambler with a common courtyard in the middle and then private patios for each family on the exterior corners. Had the timing allowed this to happen I probably would have been married for 15 years less and minus one child. I kept my mouth shut (why fight over a dream, aka nightmare?) and it never came to be. Others in the family may be nodding their heads like they would participate, but on the inside, they could be planning their escape from the clan.
We once bought a home on a small lake in Oklahoma. The original land was owned by a couple who subdivided and deeded lots to each of their children. The couple who built our house got a divorce and neither one could buy the other one out so we ended up with it.
Over the years, this was pretty much the story with the other kids and their homes. Sad. The last time we stopped by to visit, the parents were still there, but surrounded by strangers.
My siblings and I inherited 400 acres that had been in our family since 1916.
We had heard too many horror stories about similar things happening during divorces so my siblings and I decided to keep the land in our direct family line. The inherited land did not become marital property for any of our spouses. Just to be ultra safe, each of our spouses needed to sign legal documentation that they understood that the inherited land would never, under any circumstances belong to them but will be passed on to each families children. All of the spouses of our children know that they cannot inherit the land, as well.
Of course this is different than owning a house with a spouse. But the sad story of the parents who thought that they would always have their children/grandchildren living close to them reminded me of how we are working to prevent problems for our families property/land.
BTW my siblings and I just finished step 3 in managing the forest land (step 1 took place from about 1960 to 1965, Step 2 from about 1980 to 1995). The end result (step 4) will be a beautiful hardwood forest that will mature about 2075 to 3000. Hopefully, my great-grandchildren will really enjoy it.
You have to be pretty farsighted to start work on a project in 1960 and the planned end result would not occur until over 100 years later. I still remember my father telling me when I was a young girl about how future generations would be able to enjoy the hardwood forest that we changed from a pine forest.
Last edited by germaine2626; 04-29-2014 at 08:22 PM..
By why come and post on this thread? Why not go to the Work & Employment thread? Post that trying to find a job is an impossible waste of time. Never going to happen.
Too funny.
Actually - this poster had valid points...financing would be extremely difficult. Is it a one unit or 4 or 5 units? How many kitchens are there? Are there comparables? Unless you are willing to pay cash, I see nothing but trouble obtaining a mortgage or even a construction loan. If it's multifamily, you are into zoning issues. And then when it's time to sell, ask the appraisers how this will go.....unless there are comparables, you have one hot and very expensive mess. If you are in an area with 2-4 units, it may be easier, providing they have similar square footage, but getting a construction loan will not be easy...anything but.
My siblings and I inherited 400 acres that had been in our family since 1916.
We had heard too many horror stories about similar things happening during divorces so my siblings and I decided to keep the land in our direct family line. The inherited land did not become marital property for any of our spouses. Just to be ultra safe, each of our spouses needed to sign legal documentation that they understood that the inherited land would never, under any circumstances belong to them but will be passed on to each families children. All of the spouses of our children know that they cannot inherit the land, as well.
Of course this is different than owning a house with a spouse. But the sad story of the parents who thought that they would always have their children/grandchildren living close to them reminded me of how we are working to prevent problems for our families property/land.
BTW my siblings and I just finished step 3 in managing the forest land (step 1 took place from about 1960 to 1965, Step 2 from about 1980 to 1995). The end result (step 4) will be a beautiful hardwood forest that will mature about 2075 to 3000. Hopefully, my great-grandchildren will really enjoy it.
You have to be pretty farsighted to start work on a project in 1960 and the planned end result would not occur until over 100 years later. I still remember my father telling me when I was a young girl about how future generations would be able to enjoy the hardwood forest that we changed from a pine forest.
So no one is living on the land now? And in 2075 your great grandchildren can visit? Live there? Other than spouses never having ownership, what other restrictions run with the deed? I'm trying to figure out besides having the forest, is anyone in the family getting enjoyment from the family land?
In the northeast, where we live, it is not at all unusual to find farms which have had parcels sectioned off for new houses for the 'kids' as they matured and married. I suppose that they become independent parcels keeps them from being called compounds.
In a few instances, some were subsequently sold off to non-family members.
With the aging population and the cost of living...situations like this are ideal. However, people have to look down the road as the "family" may not always pan out..divorce, etc..One must make sure deeds and trusts are in place so if anything bad happens everyone is protected..
My compound is my home which has been in a trust for many years, and my mother will live here as long as possible..We have some land too and have thought about selling this house and building another that my brother, myself, mother and niece and nephews can live....but our current house serves that purpose fine for now..
It's more common now than ever to see homes where parent's and adult children live together..It's economic's..plain and simple.
And IMO not a bad thing if everyone get's along!!
I know someone that did something similar. This friend has a home on a lot about the size of acre. No HOA so she was able to have her parents build a small 800 sft. home on the property. As far as looks go, I don't care for how the second home was placed. It basically looks like an ugly garage. I feel it was poorly planned as both homes share one septic system that has caused problems. For everyone getting along, there haven't been too many issues. Just typical family squabbles occasionally. Overall I don't think its a bad idea at all. My mother is getting up there in age and doesn't live in a good neighborhood. It has changed drastically over the past 10 yrs. She is too independent to live with us and really can't afford a home by us (we live out of state). She went to visit another relative in AZ and she looked at some model homes with a in-laws quarters attached. The builder called it something else rather than mother-n-law suite. Pulte has something similar with some of their designs. I think it would be kind of ideal really if I found something that would work.
What I find interesting in this thread are the varying definitions and/or usages of the term "compound".
In some areas, a compound appears to be a large single family home with multiple living area additions and shared common use areas, all under the same roof, if you will. In other words, one very large home on a single parcel of land that is shared by all.
In other areas (my south Texas area, for example), a compound refers to several single family homes on immediately adjacent parcels that share common amenities. The common amenities are associated with one of the single family homes but all family members can use those amenities.
Still others refer to common usage of a large parcel of land with the single family homes are widely dispersed. Shared land usage is the cornerstone of the "compound".
The common thread is how the homes, land, and amenities are enjoyed by the family.
Just one of the reasons I love this forum -- the diversity of thought in the different areas of the country.
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This one has worked well
