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Haha. That is probably the case. I know it definitely seems to have an "old" component. And everything I looked at was definitely small. But I live in a major city where big space either in an "up and coming" (another euphemism for "scary") neighborhood or unaffordable.
My favorite is "Unique floorplan!" That meant (in one place I looked at) that you had to walk outside to get to a bedroom. Great if you live in a sunny warm climate but it snows where I am at...
Masters of overstatement, Florida Realtors make a host of advertizing claims:
"Water View" might mean that you can see the water on a clear day if you stand on the corner of the roof and look with a pair of binoculars; "Waterfront" can mean a small pond or Bayou; Even "Direct ocean/Gulf-front" may only mean that part of a building or complex is on the water.
Similarly, "walk to the beach" can mean a distance of a mile or more; "Beachside community" likely means that if one travels far enough in the right direction, they will find houses or condos adjacent to the water/beach.
"Stunning view" may only mean that the Realtor has a limited vocabulary, ... or has lived in a cave and never seen the sunrise, sunset, water, sky, trees, etc. before.
"Luxury" - indoor plumbing and tile or carpet on the floors.
"Unique, one-of-a-kind" - Seller has strange idea of decor or landscaping.
"Pet friendly" - Smells with stains and chewed carpets and woodwork.
... and of course, "cute, cozy, charming" are all synonymous with small and/or older.
"Spa-like Master Bath" -- translated: there's a jacuzzi tub and a separate shower. Unfortunately, no private masseuse comes with the house . . .
"Luxurious Master Suite" -- it has a trey ceiling
And, of course, the ubiquitous: "Open floor plan" -- builder figured out that it's cheaper not to build walls. :-)
"Finished terrace level" -- yeah, it's a basement, and yeah, it's got windows and a walk-out. But doesn't "terrace" sound so much cooler?
It's sort of like all those hundreds of college brochures that high school seniors get. I swear, almost every single college in the United State is "10 minutes from town" if they aren't actually IN town.
Masters of overstatement, Florida Realtors make a host of advertizing claims:
"Water View" might mean that you can see the water on a clear day if you stand on the corner of the roof and look with a pair of binoculars; "Waterfront" can mean a small pond or Bayou; Even "Direct ocean/Gulf-front" may only mean that part of a building or complex is on the water.
Similarly, "walk to the beach" can mean a distance of a mile or more; "Beachside community" likely means that if one travels far enough in the right direction, they will find houses or condos adjacent to the water/beach.
"Stunning view" may only mean that the Realtor has a limited vocabulary, ... or has lived in a cave and never seen the sunrise, sunset, water, sky, trees, etc. before.
"Luxury" - indoor plumbing and tile or carpet on the floors.
"Unique, one-of-a-kind" - Seller has strange idea of decor or landscaping.
"Pet friendly" - Smells with stains and chewed carpets and woodwork.
... and of course, "cute, cozy, charming" are all synonymous with small and/or older.
Hey! I live on "waterfront" property! Okay, so it's a retention pond.
I love the FL listings that say there's a "peak" of the ocean from the balcony/windows.
" One of a kind contemporary"- Yes and no one would ever want to replicate that mess
" professionally landscaped" - The builder put in six shrubs, a bag of pine bark and ran the crushed stone from the driveway to the front door
" rustic interior" - Maybe some day someone will figure out what to do with the
paneling through most of the house
" suitable for horses " - Sure after the loggers come in to clear a couple of acres and you
wait a couple of years for pasture to grow and put in fences
" distant winter water views"- From November to April, if you go look out the attic window
" private flag lot" - 2000' of sloping, unpaved driveway accessible only by mules, goats
and four wheel drive for half the year
" basement complete with home theater room" - acoustic tile on the ceiling, 1960's panel on the wall, linoleum on floor and wall brackets for a large screen TV.
Last edited by willow wind; 12-19-2013 at 09:28 PM..
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