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We lived in a big house and only used about 4 rooms. It was a gated community but we still had to worry about landscaping, etc. So, we sold it and bought a 1600 sq ft condo which is in a Residences tower of a nice hotel with lots of amenities and I do use the fitness room and the spa -- tho we don't use any of the other amenities and my husband uses none. With Christmas, I realize how difficult it would be to entertain here. The lovely community rooms that are available still seem to lack the intimacy of home entertaining. Elevator access to our single floor condo with our tandem parking spaces under the building. Lovely building and grounds, close to public transportation and good walkability to restaurants and shops. My husband is soooo happy here.
I am not feeling at home. It's been 10 months and I still feel like I am living in a temporary space. I hate getting the car out and driving....such an ordeal to pull into traffic (on the city edge). And I hate not having a dog because there's no private garden space or fenced doggie area. We used to have 2 dogs and I can hardly stand not having dogs. We have just returned from a week-long trip. We were away traveling all summer and will be gone again in March-May. But this doesn't feel like home whenever we go some place and return.
Just wondering if I should pressure my husband to find a new place to live -- a house -- or stick it out longer.
Assuming you aren't going to be traveling so much in the future, why not get a dog? Many breeds do well in apartments.
BTW, 1600 sq feet us a fairly good size condo. We have a 2000 sq ft house and entertain in it regularly, including sit down dinners for 12-14 and cocktail parties for 50.
in any event, "pressuring" your husband who loves living there is a bad plan. Selfish. Do some devorating and entertaining to make it a HOME.
It seems like it's not so much the size of a condo but the style of condo living.
You might look into a garden style condo complex where you don't get the brain memory of being in a hotel so much.
You might look into what some call patio homes or courtyard homes or zero lot line homes...basically lovely homes with small lots but still lots.
Not familiar with Dallas but you might see if there are homes that are single family, beautifully finished inside and out, most rooms on one level and two bedrooms and a bathroom upstairs for guests/family visits, rooms that don't need much attention. Front yards are lovely but small. Side yards not large and back yard nice but not large.
I know some people who have found such homes elsewhere since there is such a demand with all the baby boomers with money reaching that age.
I know a few people also who still want their gatherings and have done up wonderful lower levels to use for the occasional party or larger family gathering. (Although I'm more familiar with Houston that doesn't really do lower levels so maybe you don't have that option in Dallas.)
Sounds like you didn't put much research into condos in diff. areas, layout, amenities, etc. before purchasing.
I thought we did. We looked at many, many condos and this was the best situation walkable to public rail transit....a factor we both felt was very important if we ever wanted to give up driving. Now I am realizing the same reasons we would give up driving (such as being mobility impaired or losing the motivation to deal with parking) will still likely result in using a taxi. We wanted to be in the city for walkability, we wanted a single story for mobility issues again (I had a very serious injury and tho recovered have become ultra sensitive to mobility issues).
Soooo the big compromise was no terrace or garden space large enough for a dog to relive itself. Meaning getting dressed and getting outside with a dog to a greenspace. After 15 years of a house with a doggie door, it's just almost impossible to adjust to this for me. We've been dog sitting for a rescue group to try it out. I simply hate having to immediately get dressed in the morning to take a dog down the elevator and outside. In rain, in ice, etc. So, although I thought I knew what I was getting into, I am really sad here...
Soooo the big compromise was no terrace or garden space large enough for a dog to relive itself. Meaning getting dressed and getting outside with a dog to a greenspace. After 15 years of a house with a doggie door, it's just almost impossible to adjust to this for me. We've been dog sitting for a rescue group to try it out. I simply hate having to immediately get dressed in the morning to take a dog down the elevator and outside. In rain, in ice, etc. So, although I thought I knew what I was getting into, I am really sad here...
This is ALL your personal mindset. Which is totally under your control.
We had a doggy door in Phoenix for many years. We moved to Raleigh, and spent 9 months in a garden apartment while our home was being built. No doggie door in either, and Raleigh is a damn sight more rainy and cold than Phoenix! We split up the dog walking chores, and just deal with it. We pull on sweats and/or raincoats and walk out the door. Big deal.
And yes, when we've traveled, we've had our dog in high rise condos and hotels that require elevators.
The joy of having the dog is well worth the hassle factor.
Another benefit: We've met our neighbors walking those dogs. Our community decorates the doggie poop stands each year. We dog sit each other's dogs and take them over to neighbor's homes for play dates. We get some daily exercise.
Condo life may just not be for you. That is okay, how would you know otherwise unless you gave it a try? My sister went through the same thing. She gave up a very large home and moved into a newer condo. She no longer wanted yard upkeep, a larger space than what she really needed and craved something different. Her condo was downtown, walking distance to everything and she had a balcony. Her initial requirement was a space for a grill and maybe some potted plants. The green space for the complex was just outside her garage so she didn't think it would be a big deal running the dog out but she said it was. She got used to just opening the backdoor and allowing the dog to enjoy the yard. She lasted about 10 months and put it up for sale. She said the same thing, it just didn't feel like home to her. She purchased a house again, smaller place with a small yard and pays a landscape company to cut the grass and shovel the walk. She said it was less expensive than the HOA fee she was paying.
Even though it sounds so traditional, nesting is very very important to women. There is nothing odd or wrong in what you are sensing. And that is essential. You are sensing deep inside the facts of your home. They effect you deeply.
So,consider other things.
That home in a community and instead of the condo fee you pay to have lawn care.
Transportation. If you need to give up driving you will then, or shortly so, also be in a state where you (especially with mobility issues already) can't take transit steps or walking to transit. If you don't feel like driving in the dark eventually....you won't feel like getting to public transit in the dark either.
So much can be ordered done. A lot of buying is online. I notice our stores are increasingly less packed around Christmas because of all the online buying. Grocer's will deliver.
And while you are still in your high rise condo, see about puppy pads. Small dogs can get very used to them.
A lot of people just have to touch at least a little nature, have to have feet on the ground...real world ground.
Well.........there are 55+ communities of single family homes where all outside maintenance is provided (included in your HOA fee), van transportation provided to shopping, medical appointments, etc. once you give up driving.
I could never live in a highrise now. I did in my 20's.......that was the thing to do, but 40 years later......I want dirt under my feet.... and nobody over my head!
This is ALL your personal mindset. Which is totally under your control.
Lots of people put that out there as a theory, but I don't think it is actually true. Most people can control their mindset for somethings, but nobody can control it for everything. And what some people find it easy to control their mind about is what others find impossible.
Anyway, rain and ice wouldn't bother me, but having to get up and dressed early every morning to take something out to pee on the bushes would not be my personal choice under any circumstances.
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