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Everybody think pets are great for old people but it saddens me to see how much old person will compromise and inconvenience their own life for some g__ d___ animal(s). For the last decade of my dads life concerns for the dog, and it's behavioral problems, were in the way of everything. The problems are worse with small familys where there's no one else to care for the pets even for a few hours.
If you just refuse to be involved in it, hopefully, your mom will not actually be able to buy a house. Age is just one factor. I'm 71 and I could buy another house if I wanted to.
Sometimes there's an unavoidable appearance of a conflict of interest when one is concerned for an ageing parents finances and also the possible beneficiary of their estate. No matter what you do will look wrong to somebody.
It really concerns me because if she doesn't blow it on a house (or something worse), I stand to inherit it (apart from taxes of course).
This is all we see from your posts. You want to keep the money intact, for you to inherit. By the way, here would be no inheritance taxes due for such a small amount of an estate.
Thought: She may outlive her boyfriend, and she may leave it all to him, which is a common thing.
Quit thinking what you want to inherit, and think of what is best for your mother. My wife and I are 15 years older than your mother and if we sold this home which is way more home than we need, we would buy another one. Seventy one is not too old to buy a home.
Here's the problem: I don't want a house. I just don't want the upkeep, responsibility, and long-term commitment. I have few possessions and am very much a minimalist, so having a house doesn't interest me. I've told her this many times, but it doesn't seem to register.
Just gotta tell you dude from the above "description" it appears you are a minimalist when YOU are paying for it, but expect and want to be a "I GET IT ALL" when worried about how your momma spends her money! A TRUE minimalist would NEVER give a rats A$$ about an inheritance.
OP, you're in Seattle, what's wrong with the Kitsap Peninsula? There's plenty of houses over here for $200,000 or less. Shoot, if you don't want the house, I'll take it. I'll move in with her. When she goes, we'll sell the house and split the proceeds. LOL And I like cats, too.
Just gotta tell you dude from the above "description" it appears you are a minimalist when YOU are paying for it, but expect and want to be a "I GET IT ALL" when worried about how your momma spends her money! A TRUE minimalist would NEVER give a rats A$$ about an inheritance.
Excuse me? minimalists are not STUPID!
Last edited by OutdoorsyGal; 12-26-2015 at 05:49 PM..
If the house can't be rented out to cover monthly costs OR if she can't rent or have a roommate/live in care situation to cover costs, WALK.
Rural is a big flag, but you know that.
Your contribution the the monthly mortgage is bigger flag. You're paying into a money pit in a place you hate that is not your asset.
No. No. No. No. No.
Unless the property can be turned into a positive for you, each new revelation highlights the complexity of this whole scenario.
Definitely need a professional who can drill through all the financial details and see if this could ever work in your favor.
It might be somewhat of a positive, but I'm still hesitant. I prefer to keep investments simple - IRAs, mutual funds, etc.
I am her only heir, so it would be mine eventually. She has enough for a sizable down payment, so the monthly payments would be low. It's just not something I really want, but if she insists on getting something, I'm better off working with her as much as possible. Otherwise she'll probably act entirely on her own which could leave a real effing mess for me to deal with.
Honestly, I really hope she dies before her befriend, but since he's about 10 years older than she is, that's not likely to happen even with her health issues.
I am her only heir, so it would be mine eventually.
Not if she decides to give it to somebody else, or a charity. And puts that in writing in the proper form of a will. And somehow, I kinda wonder if she is already thinking, hmm, let me leave what I have to a cat rescue organization.
Not if she decides to give it to somebody else, or a charity. And puts that in writing in the proper form of a will. And somehow, I kinda wonder if she is already thinking, hmm, let me leave what I have to a cat rescue organization.
I have a copy of her will and medical power of attorney. Currently I'm her only heir and POA, and quite frankly she's probably too lethargic and complacent to change. Not saying it can't happen, but it's unlikely.
The alimony is not hers. If she married her boyfriend the gravy train would stop, so she's shacking up and keeping her ex on the hook for $400/month. That's disgusting. I can understand why the OP doesn't want to have anything to do with her.
I'm not referring to the alimony, but the $200,000 in the bank the OP would like to inherit. It's not the OP's money to covet. The OP won't be getting a dime of the alimony money no matter what happens, as that's not money which can be passed down as an inheritance. When her mother either marries or dies, that's the end of the monthly alimony check.
It might be somewhat of a positive, but I'm still hesitant. I prefer to keep investments simple - IRAs, mutual funds, etc.
I am her only heir, so it would be mine eventually. She has enough for a sizable down payment, so the monthly payments would be low. It's just not something I really want, but if she insists on getting something, I'm better off working with her as much as possible.
Only up to the point where she starts pressing you to help pay for the house. If your mother wants a house, SHE needs to be the one to pay for it. You are in no way obligated to help her with those expenses!
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