Husband wants to buy a house with parents... (financial decision, buy homes, cash)
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Don't be so quick to judge! Many of us did not grow up with great families. Donna Reed was a tv show. Nothing more. There are all kinds of family dynamics to deal with. Not everyone gets along and that's ok.
My parents PAID for daycare when I was young. They didn't have someone in the family to watch me. They will need to PAY for their care when their elderly and need it. I'm not a nurse. Nor do I want to be one. My mother already has numerous health issues and flat out refuses to follow medical advice. Why would I torture myself with that mess? And I grew up in an extremely abusive home. If my parents house burned down tonight, I'd set off fireworks and roast marshmallows over the flames!
Not everyone gets along, but exceptions shouldn't be presented as the norm. My post speaks to what the goal should be.... what should be considered normal in a healthy culture? I don't think you'd classify your last statement as a normal and healthy thing to say about one's parents.
My father has lived with my wife and I for years now, of our nearly 11 years of marriage my dad has been here for about 7. He has his own space separate from the main home and it works out really well but my father and I have a great relationship, when he wasn't living here I spoke with him almost every day by phone. This was partly a business decision and partly for his retirement, he has worked manual labor and is now turning 60 but wasn't going to be able to retire without this arrangement. Since moving him in he has purchased 3 rental properties and could go out on his own and retire comfortably if he wanted to but this situation works best for both of us; he has a lot of extra money which was never the case his entire life and we have a babysitter basically on demand if needed though we hardly use that.
It was awkward at first for my wife even though he has never lived in the main home but she is used to it now. He has his own 700 sq ft of space with a kitchenette, no oven but it has a convection microwave, bedroom, bathroom, living room, dining space, 1 car garage, separate entry, and laundry. Of my 23 rentals 3 of them are set up like this, they were our primary home before being rentals, and of those only 1 isn't used the way we used it but the wife's brother is living in the unit so it is close enough (these are by far my most profitable rentals if you are looking down the road a ways keep that in mind). Multigenerational housing is on the rise, pretty much every builder is advertising it here, so all of these people flat out saying no without explaining why don't really matter as they have absolutely no idea how your family functions.
As the in-law it is going to be the hardest on you so you need to speak up and have the loudest voice in this decision; and wills in place in the event anyone dies.
My mother in law mentioned to my husband that we should buy a house together, and my husband seems to jump on the idea. They're in their 50's and planning on retiring soon, which is apparently the reason why they don't want to get a mortgage. My husband thinks it's a good idea seeing it as an investment and would do everything in writing so that they wouldn't screw us over. Everything would be split between us. Even if we had everything in writing, I can see it going wrong in a million ways...my husband thinks I'm being negative, but I don't see the good of it besides us affording to buy a house quicker. Has anyone ever bought a house with their in laws or parents? Is it a good idea?
Meet with an attorney and discuss the possibility of setting up an LLC.
It can work. I think the home design is a huge component, though. I saw a home with 2 master suites and I think it would have to be something like that.
The advantage - if both couples contribute - is that everyone gets to live in a lot nicer house. I am assuming that the in-laws contribution will come as a lump sum, and the OP will make payments.
My son in law always says, "We'll buy a place in FL, and you guys can live there for free and take care of it for us.... hmmm.
They are nice children, but I never want to share a kitchen, or decorating ideas, or my privacy.
I think it's sad how many people would absolutely not consider letting their extended family live under the same roof. We expect other people to take care of our children for us when they are young, and take care of our parents for us when they're old. And yet, even with those burdens removed from us and taken care of by others so we can live our lives supposedly unhindered and free, we still have the highest depression, drug use, and divorce rates in the world.
The problem is we've stopped having to compromise, work it out, or get along with anyone. I think if you really look at the oldest cultures throughout most of the world, they don't think this way. Multi-generational households are normal, and cooperative through most of history. People work through problems together and take care of their own family. Too soon to tell how long this selfish society will endure, but I think there is at least something to be learned from cultures that truly value family over self.
I will support parents if in need, but in those instances it is not an investment and joint venture. I wil finance all their needs, but that is a gift, my obligation. That is not the case here.
I'm not sure which side is helping the other, financially, in this case, and I'm not sure it matters, to whether the idea is a good one or not. Depends on their situation and their feelings about it.
Those multi generational households were more common in -big families -usually new comers-or spread out over a few acres.
Even a multi family unit, or having them across the street can be potential for problems.
The biggest one being, parents dont realize adults are not kids needing guidance or un asked for opinion, and realize even less that childrens SO, will not be comfortable with outside interference.
There will be, eventually, a point in where the spouse will be in the middle of conflict, and asked to choose sides. Spouses should stick together above all others.
Hopefully it's his money to invest how he chooses.
Unless he is in a community state where the wife gets his earnings.
My in laws got a cabin in which we all enjoyed and paid into. It was later sold and we each benefited. Happy memories.
I feel sorry though for these in law's..The dil seems contrary.
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