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In any case NONE of that has anything to do with what I asked - which is HOW the HECK do you get a realtor to pay more attention to the wishes and desires of the BUYER instead of trying to sell me on junk I don't like and don't want.
Stand up for yourself. You stated that a duplex was an absolute nonstarter. Why, then, were you inside one looking at it? Be as vocal with them as you are being here.
You assume diversity brings crime and automatically reduces property values and services?
OP, choose the houses you want to visit. Don't let the realtor decide on the list. That's the benefit of the internet.
As to the OP saying the neighborhood is too white, folks are free to have their authentic reactions.
If discrimination isn't a bad thing, are you signing up for it?
Please don't project your own thoughts into words which you then put in my mouth.
My thought is that the word "Discrimination" is immediately seen as evil. It isn't. There is good discrimination, and bad discrimination. Discrimination against people for things they cannot help (like race, ethnicity, and national origin) is "bad", and that is why the Feds made those protected classes. But discrimination against people with offensive values (like being a shrill, self-centered jerk who knee-jerks their way into believing everyone who doesn't think exactly like they do is a "bigot") is perfectly fine with me, I wouldn't live next door to the OP on a bet, and it has nothing to do with the skin color of her kid.
Really? I believe you probably mean they cannot legally steer clients or talk about protected classes.
Did I stutter? That's exactly what I said.
This OP would be a nightmare to work with. She has a huge chip on her shoulder, is actually hostile and unpleasant - not a nice person - not teachable - unwilling to take responsibility for herself - if she hates Realtors with such ferocious passion and she's so damn smart, why hasn't she figured out how to get her bizarre needs met?
I challenge HER to find the perfect house without gray walls!
And she twists everything to her crazy narrative. I said the probable reason why an agent showed her a house with 13 cars probably had to do with her budget . . . just a wild guess. She twisted that into me disparaging her about her budget. No, it just so happens that usually homes with 13 cars in the driveway would be on the lower side of the market . . . my point was that the agent was probably just showing her what was available in her price range.
She should read the Four Agreements. "Nothing is Personal."
What a nightmare of a client this person would be - I would refuse to work with someone so hostile and irrational - bad combo!
There is no such thing as an "inordinate value on diversity".
Period paragraph.
Eating "green" bologna, trying to get friendly with an attack dog, and knowingly moving in to a neighborhood rife with bigots are ALL things I know better than to do. Clearly our values are very different. When it comes to where *I* am going to live, my values trump yours.
You don't appreciate my values? Fine. I could not care less. But my realtor had better take them seriously.
Have you ever thought that maybe realtors are blowing you off because you're kind of a loony-tune?
I have not experienced pushy agents, ever as a buyer.
I usually dealt directly with the seller's agent, rather than having an agent working "for me". So much simpler.
I kept it VERY businesslike and shared VERY few details about myself; no small talk. No pretending we're pals. No details shared that were not germane to the type of house I wanted. If it was a cash purchase I had a proof of funds letter ready to go with the contract. If a mortgage, I had an approval letter ready to go with the contract.
The best realtor I ever used was a fellow with 30+ years experience. He was the opposite of hard sell; he was so classy and professional, he didn't ask prying qs, he listened well. Quiet voiced, laid back demeanor. He was one of the most successful agents in that city (Roanoke VA).
I'm speculating that my detached, unemotional businesslike demeanor is what kept them from trying to "sell" me; they realized emotions were not in play, perhaps.
I have always viewed photos aforehand and simply didn't view the houses I could tell were a no go. Why waste time?
There are a fair number of Obnoxious Realtors out there... I was ready to sympathize with the OP for running across one. However, sometimes, it's not so simple.
There is a difference between a client who is very very particular, and an internet poster who is spoiling for a fight.
I actually enjoy both, in their proper place and time. But not today.... Not enough hours in today.
OP... I bet if you tried talking to your Realtor like an agent and an ally who will help you in your quest for the perfect place, instead of a servant or opponent you need to beat into submission, you might find the right agent for you. One who will actually pay attention and look out for you and your ever-growing list of wants and needs and quirks and taboos. There are agents out there, like me, who will make it our mission!
If you find the agent with the intuition and patience and competence you seek, they're going to have only limited patience for your temper tantrums and accusations. They're going to want to look with you, and look out for you. They're going to sympathize with the fact that you hate that kitchen, and that your perfect house is apparently not yet on the market, and they'll be happy to keep looking... but they will bug out when you blame them for swinging hollow core closet doors and the existence of grey paint and dining rooms or say something like "hew to my wishes".
Your Realtor can only show you what is available at the place and time and price you want to pay. We don't make the house... we just try to find you the house. We do our best to search on your criteria and I can often spot issues that aren't obvious in the pictures, but not always.... sometimes we don't know either until we get there, whether the house will work for you... Or NOT. We would LOVE to have time and energy to go out ahead of time and preview every house you might want to see, and have perfect judgment on what you would like. There just isn't time. That's why we (client and realtor both!) need to do our best to look, and you need to do your best to have a little patience with us, and the process. We will look at more houses you don't want to buy, than houses you do. We know that.
With that... I have to bug out.... Everyone have a nice day.
I started off reasonably sympathetic with the OP, as I've experienced similar times when real estate agents showed me things that were absolutely unacceptable to me in ways I had previously made clear.
One time when I was looking for a condo I said that it had to have a washer/dryer in the unit (at least the hook up, I didn't care about having to buy the appliances if needed). And she took me - more than once - to complexes that did not have in unit laundry. I kept saying no and her response was "oh, some people have illegal washers, so I figured it was not a big deal". Not that they were against the law of course, but they were portable units in the middle of the kitchen floor and no dryer and zero chance I was going to buy, so why was she wasting both of our time?
Another time I was looking for a townhouse, and because of some negative experiences people I knew had had, I said that I was only interested in professionally managed associations and absolutely unwilling to consider any small, self-managed associations. And of course that agent took me to a 3 unit, self-managed townhouse (which was also the middle unit, which I would not have been interested in anyway). That time, I refused to even go inside.
However, all of this was before the internet so I had no chance to look ahead of time and rule out things.
But in this case, the OP is irate that agents aren't willing to put themselves at risk of being accused of violating Fair Housing laws. And the color of the counter or walls? Seriously? Of course no one is saying you have to buy a house that doesn't appeal to you but to suggest that agents are supposed to sort properties by color is absurd. If you like a place and the price is right, you can make whatever cosmetic changes you want, and most people understand that. But not everyone, apparently.
Gee... Don't you look at the photos before you go look at the home.
They have this thing now called the Internet. We post photos and map locations. You can even Google Earth to see backyards and whats in the neighborhoods.
But it's just easier to complain. Guess I'm being Obnoxious.
That's funny. By the time I even call a realtor I already know which properties I want to see. I have viewed available properties in my target locations using every tool the websites and listings offer. I've already researched the local area from different "angles" too. I tell the realtor what I want to see not the other way around. If a realtor hands me a list of similar properties they think I might consider I can tell them which ones not to bother with. I fully realize what cosmetics can be changed, are not worth complaining about, and I don't expect to find perfection. My budget is my budget. I'm pre-approved and know exactly what I am not willing to spend.
What's so hard? FWIW the realtors I have worked with all "got" this stuff. We tackled it as a team and found the right house. Both of us were actually somewhat teachable and reasonable. I'm not some baby who needs to be spoon fed information or lead by the nose and then complains when I don't get exactly what I want.
FWIW communication is a two way street...
Last edited by Parnassia; 01-31-2019 at 03:45 PM..
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