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Barb, it'll feel good to get rid of stuff, make a pile of stuff to go thru, and tackle it. at our old house, i was able to put small piles at the end of the driveway with a free sign. easier than taking to Salv Army.
Morning all...If only dreams come true! Thanks to all for the thoughts here on this place selling. I have finally decided on a 1200 sf house plan, would love to build if I get to walk away with out losing my you know what here.
Dogmom, the rule is 6 months...if not used in that time it needs to GO. And if you bring something in then something has to go OUT. Buy a paper shredder and start sorting....legal, tax and household. The household items you can call the womens shelters and the missions, they will normally take it and some will come and pick up. Movies, cds and books go to the library. Your blankets might be needed at the animal shelters. There are so many place looking for donations right now that you will not find it difficult to get rid of the excess! Purge girl purge.........
Lacey, My garage has 24' of cabinets and then they have plastic drawer with labels...brushes, tapes, ect. The crew use to laugh at it when it came time to refill the truck boxes, said it looked like a candy store. Even my veggies are stacked in catagories and by content...
Tambre,
Not really. Anytime he gives me a "reason" for leaving (usually a lie or something stupid and petty), I address his "reason" and then he comes up with a new "reason".
His latest is that back in May he said "no" to something our daughter needed and I got upset. (I cried a little. I may have been a little hormonal at the time, especially with my PCOS being out of whack at that time.) He said that was his "breaking point". Wha'??
He and I agree on almost everything and we never argue or fight, so how could one of the few times we disagreed be a "breaking point" for him?
I really don't understand.
I am a very good wife. Even if I do say so myself. lol I'm loving, affectionate, faithful, peaceful, easy to get along with. I don't give him a hard time (rarely) or give him the silent treatment. I'm very interested in having sex with him (one of his "reasons" was that he thinks I think sex is dirty and that I don't like it, which is completely ridiculous; I always went to him for sex!), so he can't complain about that. I do whatever he wants me to do if I know what it is he wants me to do because I love him and I want him to be happy. I cook and clean and take care of the kids. I make phone calls for him and run errands for him.
And even after all his nonsense and lies, I still speak kindly to him and I still tell him I love him. I don't belittle him or call him names. I know that won't help the situation. Plus, I'm just not the type to talk that way.
Before he sort of officially left, he said, "Don't I deserve to be happy?" I later asked him, "Yes, but at what cost? Is getting what you think will make you happy worth losing your family over?"
His unhappiness comes from within himself. And I told him that it will still be with him even when he's not with me because doing the wrong thing can never bring happiness.
The kids think he's out of state working, and much of the time he is. I'm praying that God brings him home soon so that I can spare my children the truth - that Daddy doesn't want to live here anymore. Christmas is over now. I wanted to wait until at least Christmas was over before I told them. DH doesn't want them to know the truth. He said that they could or would just think that he's working. I told him that he couldn't keep that up for long. They're not stupid and they'll eventually start asking questions. Which they already do. "Where's Daddy?" "When's Daddy coming home?"
He has some personal issues to work through. Unfortunately he fails to see that not leaning on me and not leaning on God will not help him. I love him with all my heart and I've always tried to encourage him and praise him. (The male ego and all.) I've always believed in him and let him know that I do. So why can't he lean on me now? Why does he feel like the answer is to run away? I'm not his problem. He is his own problem.
What is it they say about trying to run away from your problems? They're still with you wherever you go.
Which reminds me of another of his "reasons". He said he's tired of being lonely. I told him that of course he's lonely, he's never here. That's not my fault. When he's gone for months at a time I always tell him how much I miss him and I wish he was here and that I hate that his job is keeping him away so much. When he said that he was lonely I asked him how living alone was going to fix his loneliness. That makes no sense at all.
*sigh*
Anyway, I'm sorry for writing so much and taking up too much of the space here with my problems. I don't want this thread filled up with my junk. lol
Painter,
I hope this is it for you.
Texas,
Watson is still very cute.
Niki,
We all are here for you, and I think it's great that you have been able to share the situation with us. It's evident that you love your dh unconditionally. I'm not sure if there's anything more that you could do in order to get him back. You have made it clear to him that you want him in your life and your kids life.
As hard as it may be, and counter-intuitive to how you would love to show him you love him unconditionally, you may need to set some boundaries that you will not accept this behavior. Just like tough love with kids, sometimes adults need a reminder that even unconditional love doesn't mean you can disregard the feelings of your spouse and children and go off and find yourself.
Allowing him his freedom at such a cost to you and the kids is not healthy. I can understand your reaction of trying to leave the door unlocked, and meet him with welcoming arms, as a reaction to his sudden and unexplainable abandonment. However, in my opinion, as time goes on, this is not fair to you or the children. When you've had enough, you'll know it. In the meantime, I would find a way to tell the children the truth, when you are ready to draw the line in the sand.
My heart goes out to you and the kids. I'll say a prayer that you find peace in this situation, whichever way it turns out. You deserve better than being treated like this.
Painter, good luck with the showing today! Where are the lookers from? Dogmom, sounds like you've had it with the clutter. I feel your pain! Lacey and Painter, wish I had one ounce of your organizational ability...totally clueless. Stoy, what's the plan now? Is your dh still being distant? Have you tried contacting any of the local banks or credit unions, in CO? It's snowing here today...vertical snow, not horizontal snow for once.
That is so funny...here too! Just can't stand searching for anything and Gosh forbid if I can't find something, it drives me nuts. Even my cleaning supplies are lined up like good little soldiers and sorted for action! Clothes sorted by color, sheets folded together as sets, every shelf lined and folded the same, ect....gosh I can't believe I have publicly made it know I am a neat freak!
That is so funny...here too! Just can't stand searching for anything and Gosh forbid if I can't find something, it drives me nuts. Even my cleaning supplies are lined up like good little soldiers and sorted for action! Clothes sorted by color, sheets folded together as sets, every shelf lined and folded the same, ect....gosh I can't believe I have publicly made it know I am a neat freak!
Ok so the truth is out now, lol. I am a wanna be neat freak..my dream would be to have everything like you ladies have..in order, able to find. somehow my whole adult life I have fallen a bit short of that, and I think that is where my frustration lies. I honestly have never been more discombubulated than I am now.
Carl and I just boxed up most of the christmas decor and as I was looking at most of it, I just didn't want it anymore. When we unload all this in the fall, the boys are getting most of it. The last 10 or so years that my Nana was alive, she gave each boy a dated Norman Rockwell ornament. Well, we will start there. then there are a bunch of sports ornaments..bingo..to the boys. I saw some pretty ornaments that are very golden and clear, and earthy tones and I think that is going to be my 'theme'. Oh and tons of dog themed ornaments..Maybe a small Dog theme tree somewhere? But mostly I don't want any of it anymore..
Painter, I also fold my sheets together as sets...hey that's just easy..at one point in our old favorite house, both boys were still living at home..we had a king bed, they had queen beds and we had a twin daybed..so I had all the sheets labeled and in bags according to size and who's they were.
I can't honestly tell you now that I am thinking of what is packed away its going to give me an anxiety attack. collector plates, figurines..holy cow why did I want all that stuff. My best friend collects NOTHING. I always thought she was missing out on something, but you know, she was just s.m.a.r.t.
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I told him that he couldn't keep that up for long. They're not stupid and they'll eventually start asking questions. Which they already do. "Where's Daddy?" "When's Daddy coming home?"
