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Old 06-14-2010, 04:49 PM
 
Location: Albuquerque, NM
461 posts, read 919,769 times
Reputation: 524

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Quote:
Originally Posted by blazejen View Post
HA! And wonder who has the most gaping arse on cd.

I can understand the statement. I really can. It's easy looking from the outside in when you don't have any 'feelings' to complicate your perspective.
Feelings don't make you any less of a fool. I've been in a situation where I hung on for too long (not on this matter mind you) and I was a fool.

You have to actually do something or be stuck and assume part of the fault.
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Old 06-14-2010, 04:53 PM
 
496 posts, read 939,108 times
Reputation: 418
Quote:
Originally Posted by ben242000 View Post
Feelings don't make you any less of a fool. I've been in a situation where I hung on for too long (not on this matter mind you) and I was a fool.

You have to actually do something or be stuck and assume part of the fault.
Absolutely agree that you have to do something. If you don't, you're just as responsible for the situation.

And indeed feelings often make you more of a fool. Obviously I realize there's a serious problem, having pointed out that it's been destructive to the relationship. Pointing out that I'm a fool for being in the situation is not only unverifiable because you don't know what I may be doing or what I may have tried to do, but it's also unnecessary. It has no constructive value, and neither does my pointing out that you're a jerk.
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Old 06-14-2010, 05:22 PM
 
Location: Albuquerque, NM
461 posts, read 919,769 times
Reputation: 524
Quote:
Originally Posted by blazejen View Post
Absolutely agree that you have to do something. If you don't, you're just as responsible for the situation.

And indeed feelings often make you more of a fool. Obviously I realize there's a serious problem, having pointed out that it's been destructive to the relationship. Pointing out that I'm a fool for being in the situation is not only unverifiable because you don't know what I may be doing or what I may have tried to do, but it's also unnecessary. It has no constructive value, and neither does my pointing out that you're a jerk.
I accept that I'm a jerk. That's the difference. Saying something doesn't make you active, it makes you think you're active. Something has to be done. Something honest has to arise and push you one way or the other.

When I was stuck I was smitten, I was in love. When I was unstuck I saw that I was stupid, and in love. But I did what was best for myself, made some stupid decisions afterwards, and then moved on to a lady I am happy with.

It's not the same in every situation, but if you're in a bad one, change it or take responsibility for staying. Which I don't think possible, badmouthing your loved one on the internet.
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Old 06-14-2010, 05:54 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,012 posts, read 29,641,465 times
Reputation: 11309
Jen, Ben does have a point. I don't think he is being a jerk, he is just being tongue in cheek.

You don't have to let that ar$e of a boyfriend walk all over you. If that kind of behaviour is happening for a year and it continues, it's appalling and inadmissible.
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Old 06-14-2010, 06:04 PM
 
190 posts, read 491,623 times
Reputation: 210
Quote:
Originally Posted by OmShahi View Post
I have a friend who plays a lot of video games (In Houston) and his girlfriend says that it's the main reason why many girls can no longer get a hold of their relationship anymore because of things like "Call of Duty" and "God of War".

What do you all think about this? Do you think it's true? Please explain why?
Video games, such as the ones you mentioned, create an adrenaline rush. They induce a flight or flight reaction. The rush can be addictive, but realize most everyone has an addiction--such as football or shopping. Video game addiction, however, has the stigma of adolescence attached to it. So, if she doesn't digg the person, she has a socially acceptable reason to leave or complain. After all--he's sitting in front of the tv playing video games all darn day!
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Old 06-14-2010, 06:12 PM
 
496 posts, read 939,108 times
Reputation: 418
Quote:
Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka View Post
You don't have to let that ar$e of a boyfriend walk all over you. If that kind of behavior is happening for a year and it continues, it's appalling and inadmissible.
Yea, I agree. Funny, b/c allegedly I'm the one who walks all over him. But anyway. I know I don't have to stay. I'm a bit irritated and disappointed in the situation. There is, unfortunately, much love and respect lost. It's just disappointing.

I responded to a post saying that this was destructive to our relationship. And it was. There is essentially no relationship.

Anyway, I appreciate the supportive words. Not so much calling me a fool, which I'm not.
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Old 06-14-2010, 07:17 PM
 
Location: Albuquerque, NM
461 posts, read 919,769 times
Reputation: 524
Quote:
Originally Posted by blazejen View Post
Yea, I agree. Funny, b/c allegedly I'm the one who walks all over him. But anyway. I know I don't have to stay. I'm a bit irritated and disappointed in the situation. There is, unfortunately, much love and respect lost. It's just disappointing.

I responded to a post saying that this was destructive to our relationship. And it was. There is essentially no relationship.

Anyway, I appreciate the supportive words. Not so much calling me a fool, which I'm not.
Fool wasn't used to describe you, it was used to describe you in a moment. An adjective, rather than a character trait.

I apologize.
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Old 06-14-2010, 08:47 PM
 
Location: Round Rock, Texas
13,440 posts, read 15,384,782 times
Reputation: 18959
Anything that consumes ones time to the point of crowding out your partner isn't good. Like everyone said. There is nothing wrong with video games. It's a hobby, a form of entertainment like posting on C-D. My husband is a gamer. It is his hobby. He doesn't (and never has) resided in his mom's basement. Obviously he gets laid. I respect that it's his hobby. In fact, video games brought us together, as I am a gamer myself. A fun night for us when our daughter is in bed is to fire up the console(s) and play a round of Left 4 Dead, FFXIII, and Borderlands. Or head out to DnB or an arcade. We're both in our 30s, married for a while, kid, and have friends and jobs. We both play video games together, co-op style. Non-gamers don't understand that gaming is a release, as entertainment should be, so some feel left out and and make it out to be a competition of sorts - me or the games. Solution, if the relationship is good on other fronts, perhaps the gf should maybe share his hobby with him.

It's no different than if you had a hobby that you really enjoyed, but your partner didn't. You either let them have their hobby time (as long as they fulfill other responsibilities) or partake in the hobby.

Last edited by riaelise; 06-14-2010 at 08:57 PM..
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Old 06-14-2010, 08:54 PM
 
Location: Round Rock, Texas
13,440 posts, read 15,384,782 times
Reputation: 18959
Quote:
Originally Posted by cdubs3201 View Post
I'd take a night out with a woman I'm in love with over the playstation any night of the week....and I probably play a good share of my Call of Duty. But I always choose to do other things when able. I always work out first, I usually call up friends and do something, or if I'm really tired and can't/don't want to go out and do something, then it's PS3 time. As for people who would choose video games over other fun things in life, I just don't see how they can do it.
A video game can be a fun thing in life, and for some people they like it more than going to a bar, or whatever. Nothing wrong with that.
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Old 06-14-2010, 09:29 PM
 
2,191 posts, read 4,794,840 times
Reputation: 2308
Anything can be an addiction. The problem with certain games, like World of Warcraft and other MMORPG's, is that they are designed to be as addictive as possible since the game company usually rakes in a 15$ per month profit on each player. World of Warcraft has something like 12,000,000 players. Thats a lot of money! You can see why they have the incentive to make that game as addictive and "carrot on a stick" like as humanly possible. The game doesn't have a finite ending and your character can literally continue to be upgraded forever. Even if you think your character is as strong as possible, within a few months timespan, at most, they will update the game and add more things to keep you going. In order to compete with the best players in the game, you have to keep upgrading your character by doing the same things over and over.

To make matters worse they have like eight different character types with literally dozens of ways to make them different. Get bored of one character? No problem, make five more. It doesn't end. The fact that you can play with your friends and piggy back rewards doesn't help either. You can play this game until Blizzard (the game company) decides to stop making upgrades which probably won't be for another couples years. The last expansion comes out this year sometime and you can expect a couple years of minor upgrades.

These types of games fuel people who have other problems in life such as depression, anxiety, drug addiction, or social issues. The thing is that addictive gameplay in something like this also fuels those problems. The game will further spiral your depression, anxiety, and cause you to become a social moron all while you drink your life away. You won't be able to have a normal conversation anymore. You will spend free time reading up on the game while going to the bathroom or eating. You will also dream about the game. To give you an idea of how addictive and destructive the game is, I have logged literally six months of real life time into one character in that game. Add up all my time into just that game and its something like nine months out of the last five years of my life (I worked full time mind you). Thats with taking "breaks" for up to six months sometimes. I could very easily have spent a year of the last five just playing one worthless game. I highly recommend staying away from these types of games, but most especially World of Warcraft. Don't date anyone playing this game and if they start playing after your dating get them to quit or leave them.

To avoid the addictive games like that I would advise playing games offline and ones that aren't fun to play for more than a couple hours at a time. Stick to consoles over the computer.
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