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Game is not something you can develop. It just has to come naturally. Some people are lucky enough to be a player with all the right game. But if you're not, you're not.
I wasn't born with game and that's just something I need to accept.
Personality can change. And my personality is way more attractive now than it was 5 years ago. But I'm content with the way I am now. I'm not about to change my personality just to get girls. I want a girl that likes me for who I am.
But my personality change over the past 5 years was natural. I didn't change to get girls. But it just so happens my personality became more attractive (although nowhere near ladies man personality).
Just because someone is not a ladies man doesn't mean he sucks. It's insulting to tell me I suck just because I'm not a ladies man. Someone's game (or lack of) is not the be all, end all to determine if they suck. I struggle with dating. I admit that. But there's other stuff I'm good at, so don't tell me I suck.
And all you're doing is proving my point that money can help someone get a girl if they're not a ladies man. I never said money will automatically make someone a ladies man. Money is not the be all, end all to get girls. But it can help.
I don't do "game" very well. I feel fake if I were to do something like that. My thing is to be real as can be. My big struggle is dealing with people in groups. I have an individualist streak, so if I want to talk to a woman, I want to talk with her individually. Much of the time, this is what I have often seen. In many cases, I see alot of women in groups, and the group dynamic is hard for me to break into. I am not that big of a leader, and I don't like following people. I dealt with it better when I was young, but time, and a few unfortunate events have made me a bit more shy in that case.
Can definitely relate to this too -- I understand exactly what you mean
It's the same thing with the nice guy/bad boy argument. Most of the decent girls aren't the ones wearing low cut shirts, have their hair done up and are wearing tons of makeup... the decent women are the ones that most guys pass over because they aren't 'flashy' enough. What if most of the girls you're going after think you're unattractive? I mean, you're brushing over women because they aren't physically good enough for you, why can't women do the same to you? You aren't focusing on their personalities, so why should they focus on yours?
I know plenty of nice, successful guys...but they are definitely not self assured. If they were, they wouldn't be having problems. Most of my male friends who are decent looking or have money think women should be falling all over them...but in reality they're obnoxious or needy or desperate and most women don't go for that. It's unfortunate that the men can't see it themselves.
I agree with you here, however, I am not totally going after women just based on their looks, the problem with online dating is that even though I have one of the best profiles out there describing my philosophy in life and so on, the response rate is really low, with a lot of them just stating openly that they aren't going to even consider responding to me because of their racial preferences, although I respect that, I am just saying that someone's personality should override their race. Beyond the online world, I don't know any place where I could meet some quality women, as said earlier, I never had the time to really look for women back in college as I was very intensely focused on my Master's, thesis, internship etc etc. And I don't have any younger women working at my workplace, so that kinda limits my options to only the online dating world, which makes me discouraged about my prospects in the real world too.
That said, I agree with you about the men who think women should come to them because they have money and are good looking, I am not like that, I never said I expect women to swoon over me for what I have, I am merely saying that they need to shed their inhibitions and atleast indulge in a talk with me, based on which they could perhaps make a better judgment as to proceed further or end it there. See my point? Also, whatever negative experiences I have described so far have only been based on my online dating experiences, I will be honest about that. I am not sure if this is quite typical of online dating, or if it's just me who's being so unlucky.
Okay I don't mean to be offensive here, but I am a reasonably attractive guy with a good build, solid abs, and all that, so I would want to go for a girl that looks decent too, I am not saying HOT here, I am just saying decent and with an intelligent mind.
I have come across some nice women too, unfortunately, most of them are either older than 35(doesn't cut it for me, I am only looking for someone my age,27 or younger), or are very overweight(although I wouldn't judge them personally, I think it doesn't augur well for me not to be with a person that can't take care of themselves). So, the thing is that all you said is very true except that most reasonably good looking women under 25 or around 25 are for the most part shallow and act very pricey, I am not generalizing again, I might not have come across the good one's, but this is what I observed so far.
P.S.: I like the little spin you out on the message talking about guys going after girls who are out of their league, what the heck would that mean? Also, you say go after decent women and ignore the one's that everyone goes after, which means that you are hinting that most of those decent women are women that no one would go for, either too unattractive or overweight.
I'll validate what you're saying. It was hard to even find friends in that age category. The girls you're looking for aren't in the hottest nightclubs or bars. Maybe on the rare occasion.
I don't do "game" very well. I feel fake if I were to do something like that. My thing is to be real as can be. My big struggle is dealing with people in groups. I have an individualist streak, so if I want to talk to a woman, I want to talk with her individually. Much of the time, this is what I have often seen. In many cases, I see alot of women in groups, and the group dynamic is hard for me to break into. I am not that big of a leader, and I don't like following people. I dealt with it better when I was young, but time, and a few unfortunate events have made me a bit more shy in that case.
Good for you. Men are the lions, they separate the prey from the herd.
Now, that's a skill worth learning. I can see where it's intimidating for a guy to approach and we know that. If she likes you she'll make it easy.
Clubs are your bane so don't do them. There are plenty of lone prey walking around in broad daylight.
Game is not something you can develop. It just has to come naturally.
Bull****.
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Some people are lucky enough to be a player with all the right game. But if you're not, you're not.
Here's your problem. You don't want to develop game because you don't know what game is. You equate having game to being a player (and that is not even close to the truth) so you naturally have an aversion to learning it.
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I wasn't born with game and that's just something I need to accept.
That's like someone accepting that they're fat. It doesn't have to be that way unless you lack the desire and willpower to change.
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I want a girl that likes me for who I am.
And how's that working out for you now?
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Just because someone is not a ladies man doesn't mean he sucks. It's insulting to tell me I suck just because I'm not a ladies man. Someone's game (or lack of) is not the be all, end all to determine if they suck. I struggle with dating. I admit that. But there's other stuff I'm good at, so don't tell me I suck.
You're the one who described the guys, not me.
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And all you're doing is proving my point that money can help someone get a girl if they're not a ladies man.
That point has never been in contention. What I'm telling you is that someone with good game can easily take a girl away from a dork with a bunch money, so blaming a lack of success with the girls on a lack of money is bull****.
Last edited by McBain II; 02-19-2011 at 05:29 PM..
Reason: edited for clarity
Here's your problem. You don't want to develop game because you don't know what game is. You equate having game to being a player (and that is not even close to the truth) so you naturally have an aversion to learning it.
That's like someone accepting that they're fat. It doesn't have to be that way unless you lack the desire and willpower to change.
And how's that working out for you now?
You're the one who described the guys, not me.
That point has never been in contention. What I'm telling you is that someone with good game can easily take a girl away from a dork with a bunch money, so blaming a lack of success with the girls on a lack of money is bull****.
This is very true. First and foremost, it requires a change in mindset. Having "game" doesn't necessarily make you a player. It simply gives you the knowledge and it's upto you on how to use them.
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