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A gift is a gift. Say thank you and feel grateful that your boyfriend cared enough to give you anything.
If my boyfriend has taken the time and made the effort and specifically ASKED me what I wanted...and so I have told him I want Y, and then despite what I said I wanted, he turns around and gives me X, it's gonna irk me.
In that situation, I TRULY would rather have no gift at all. Was the gift for him -- to make himself feel good about giving me a gift -- or was it for me? You'd think that if the gift was for me, to give me pleasure or be a token of his regard for me, it'd be what I wanted. After all, he ASKED me what I wanted. Why should I just say thanks for the gift that was the opposite of what I said I wanted and be grateful?
On the other hand, if he just gives me a gift out of the blue and hasn't asked me about it beforehand, then yeah...then I'd just say thanks.
If only it were that cut and dried, that easy to remedy. Just say no til he gives in and marries you. Kind of like closing the barn door after the horse these days, isn't it?
And in my case I don't want to remarry--not right now anyway. If I change my mind, it would be to this man. But right now, I don't want to. I have very good reasons that don't involve him--well, he's not the cause anyway.
I don't care for remarriage, either, but I'm also certainly not a fan of all these creative arrangements. And it’s not about you or me… Look what all these young girls have to deal with!
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ
I don't care for remarriage, either, but I'm also certainly not a fan of all these creative arrangements. And it’s not about you or me… Look what all these young girls have to deal with!
Well now, that's a different story. They're a different breed of women that's creating monsters, imo. They're not giving it away, they're throwing it at them. I was at the store the other day and everywhere, saw girls who looked to be about 13-15 wearing the most revealing things I wouldn't have worn in my 20s! They're like walking billboard signs that read: FREE! COME AND GET ME. Is it any wonder things are going the way they are with these 'arrangements'? Men create the demand, women buy into it and supply it.
The guy made an error in asking for a choice (when he was not going to abide by it), the gal made an error in making a choice. She, when presented with the question, should have said "Why thank you, but I do not accept jewelry. How about paying for an outing/vacation?" or some such distraction.
As for her description of her Mother/Father... OUCH!
This is why I'm glad my guy gives me electronics and stereo equipment these days. I put a moratorium on diamonds (conflict in Africa), he's an audiophile, and all I know is that what I have now blows away what I had before.
I see where you're coming from. It isn't very special or personal if he doesn't listen to what you like. But there's probably nothing you can do about it.
Last year a little before Valentine's Day, I went overboard telling my husband how much I appreciated the chocolates he gets me every year but that so much went to waste because most of them have fillings I don't like (fake orange or fake cherry or whatever that white cream is-it's not coconut..?) So honey could you get me something that just has chocolate and caramel and/or nuts? I knew it would be hard for him to remember all that so I said, just get me anything but russell stover. He said "ok got it NOT russell stover"
Sure enough, he got me a bigger version of the exact same thing he gets me every year. I said thank you. Later I told him, in a light-hearted, laughing way, that it was the same one and he went off that I was so ungrateful blah blah blah. I know he was mostly mad at himself for forgetting or getting it wrong, but the moral of the story is, don't even try. Just be happy with what you get.
If my boyfriend has taken the time and made the effort and specifically ASKED me what I wanted...and so I have told him I want Y, and then despite what I said I wanted, he turns around and gives me X, it's gonna irk me.
Irk you? LOL You're a catch.
For the OP, here's an old and familiar proverb for you: GoEnglish.com Idioms = "Looking A Gift Horse In The Mouth" = Today's English Idioms (http://www.goenglish.com/dontlookagifthorseinthemouth.asp - broken link)
Removed by moderator - please do not discuss a poster's previous postings - stay on THIS topic. Thank you. I think you need to adjust your priorities. Who cares what he gives you, just be grateful he thinks enough of you to give you anything.
Last edited by atlantagreg30127; 06-15-2010 at 09:09 PM..
I have decided to not say anything to him but I'm still kind of upset. I'm not into silver and can't help it but feel somewhat hurt (that's how I feel now).
What ever happened to A for effort?
Word of advice, I hope you're good at hiding your major sense of disappointment from him, because if he senses that his gifts "aren't good enough" for you, he may decide to stop buying them altogether.
The first ring my husband sent me from abroad when we were dating was a cheap toy one and I loved it...
When we got engaged, he bought me a modest ring. None of this 2 months salary crap some women EXPECT but a nice ring.
It's about how you feel toward the person, not his gifts...
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Is it any wonder things are going the way they are with these 'arrangements'? Men create the demand, women buy into it and supply it. 
