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Old 06-24-2010, 06:02 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
6,777 posts, read 13,523,708 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *VaNiLlaGoRrilLa* View Post
Haha fair enough!

But he just TOTALLY ignores me and keeps going when I tell him you've told me this before, that's what I find kind of odd!
That has nothing to do with age difference.

OP why don't you fess up this is about you? You got offended when someone asked you if you were a teenager, now all your threads are about your teenage "sister". Even in the Parenting forum.
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Old 06-24-2010, 06:13 AM
 
Location: West Coast of Europe
25,956 posts, read 24,675,783 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hnsq View Post
1/2 your age +7 is the youngest you should date.

If you are looking for a blanket statement, that is what I have always heard.
Does that go for both sexes? Usually the man is still older than the woman, although basically it would make more sense the other way round as women live 7 years or so longer.
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Old 06-24-2010, 06:55 AM
 
Location: beautiful NC mountains!
904 posts, read 2,868,892 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Neuling View Post
It seems like a pretty big age difference. But maybe that guy is immature despite his age, so they can grow up together

There is a woman I kind of fancy, but I try to avoid her as she is also 20+ years younger than me
Problem with this theory is that once someone reaches a certain age and has not grown up yet, they won't. My ex is a prime example. When he was 31 and I was 21 his immaturity level was about the same as mine. When I was 31 and he was 41, I had grown up, had two small children. He on the other hand wanted to smoke pot every night and ride dirt bikes on the weekend.

If a man has not grown up by the time he is in his early 30's, he never will. My ex is now in his mid-fifties, and yes, still smoking pot every day.
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Old 06-24-2010, 07:30 AM
 
Location: West Coast of Europe
25,956 posts, read 24,675,783 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VBmom View Post
Problem with this theory is that once someone reaches a certain age and has not grown up yet, they won't. My ex is a prime example. When he was 31 and I was 21 his immaturity level was about the same as mine. When I was 31 and he was 41, I had grown up, had two small children. He on the other hand wanted to smoke pot every night and ride dirt bikes on the weekend.

If a man has not grown up by the time he is in his early 30's, he never will. My ex is now in his mid-fifties, and yes, still smoking pot every day.
He he Sure, taking drugs at that age is not so good, on the other hand many people considered mature and grown-up are outright boring and have lost the child within. I am quite childish sometimes and avoid typical adults. If being serious, all about work etc. is considered mature, I don't want to be mature and never will be, especially when it comes to personal relationships.
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Old 06-24-2010, 07:36 AM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
24,665 posts, read 69,567,744 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VBmom View Post
Problem with this theory is that once someone reaches a certain age and has not grown up yet, they won't. My ex is a prime example. When he was 31 and I was 21 his immaturity level was about the same as mine. When I was 31 and he was 41, I had grown up, had two small children. He on the other hand wanted to smoke pot every night and ride dirt bikes on the weekend.

If a man has not grown up by the time he is in his early 30's, he never will. My ex is now in his mid-fifties, and yes, still smoking pot every day.
Generalizations are such a killer in any debate. When I was in my early 40s I lived with and became engaged to a younger man (a 12 year age difference) and he was a pot*smoker which eventually became rather a bone of contention. He was a brilliant computer programmer but would often spend mega hours correcting silly glitches he'd missed while programming while stoned when the stoned juices had him creating! Don't misunderstand, there is always fault on both sides when a relationship fails and I was neither then nor am now a perfect person but I was really devastated when our relationship ended.

He eventually gave up pot, married a wonderful woman around his own age (I had the pleasure of meeting her and she was perfect for him!) and we still keep in touch from time to time. He's completely turned himself around and is now living in a beautiful area of mainland USA working in a corporate environment and doing very well for himself and his wife.

Ergo, I absolutely do NOT agree that "if a man hasn't grown up by the time he is in his early 30's, he never will". Your ex has contributed to your thoughts on the subject but he isn't necessarily representative of all men and really shouldn't be used as an example where a generalization is concerned.

I hope that life is treating you well and continues to do so.
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Old 06-24-2010, 07:50 AM
 
9,855 posts, read 15,181,310 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Neuling View Post
Does that go for both sexes? Usually the man is still older than the woman, although basically it would make more sense the other way round as women live 7 years or so longer.
I originally got the equation from an episode of Seinfield, and that said it was for both sexes.

We all know Seinfield can never be wrong!
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Old 06-24-2010, 07:57 AM
 
848 posts, read 1,949,099 times
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IMO, generational differences grow in magnitude as we age.

Finding a spouse within your generation makes the most sense.
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Old 06-24-2010, 08:05 AM
 
Location: West Coast of Europe
25,956 posts, read 24,675,783 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hnsq View Post
I originally got the equation from an episode of Seinfield, and that said it was for both sexes.

We all know Seinfield can never be wrong!
I think he was wrong about that Imagine you are 80 and date a 47 year old person according to that rule of thumb
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Old 06-24-2010, 08:08 AM
 
Location: West Coast of Europe
25,956 posts, read 24,675,783 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Creek Hollow View Post
IMO, generational differences grow in magnitude as we age.

Finding a spouse within your generation makes the most sense.
Yes, the likelihood that one is on a similar wavelength is simply more likely when you are of a similar age. When one is considerable older than the other, there is also a tendency to think one knows everything better simply because one is older. That can seriously damage respect.
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Old 06-24-2010, 09:02 AM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
24,665 posts, read 69,567,744 times
Reputation: 26727
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neuling View Post
Yes, the likelihood that one is on a similar wavelength is simply more likely when you are of a similar age. When one is considerable (sic) older than the other, there is also a tendency to think one knows everything better simply because one is older. That can seriously damage respect.
As a woman who at a certain age dated men younger than myself I once again wouldn't dare to generalize at all where age is concerned whether it be the man older than the women or the woman older than the man. Actually, why does an age difference really matter and why is it so important?
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