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I was talking to the bf recently and mentioned that if I got another tattoo, it would probably be a small one on the back of my neck – I have 2 small ones already, both on my back.
He hates tattoos on women and said, jokingly as always, “I hope your new boyfriend will like it”.
It made me realise that he is never going to accept me totally, as I am.
He constantly argues, using exaggerated examples as usual, what would I say if he e.g. wanted to run around naked or get a tattoo of a spiders web across his face? Would I accept him as he is?
I can honestly say the answer is yes. He is a grown man, not my property, and he is his own person. His body is his to do with whatever he wants. He is always consulting me on e.g. new hairstyles or facial hair he wants to grow and I couldn't care less which way he wants to have it.
I appreciate his honesty, but on the other hand I don’t like feeling like I can’t be myself and do what I want for fear of his disapproval.
Too each their own. I mean, if you like the tattoos, wonderful, good for you...but he doesn`t care for them. So, yes, its your body and you can do what you want with it, but from the sounds of some of your other stories, it sounds like this relationship is doomed anyway.. Move on!!
What are you waiting for..I mean, really?
I accept my husband for who he is simply because I like who he is and I wouldn't change anything, not one thing about him. Does he have flaws? Absolutely. Do we argue or disagree on things, does he drive me crazy on many occassions? Of course. But overall his personality is admirable and overshadows anything negative I may think about him. Something so trivial like an extra tattoo would not bother me. He is a brunette and I prefer brunettes, but once during our relationship, he bleached his hair blond and although I disliked it, I still liked HIM. Knowing how much I didn't like him blond, he never repeated this experiment.
On the other hand, it's in my nature to please my husband. If he likes me with dark hair, I'm not going to run off and dye my hair blond. Perhaps it's not the right approach and I may get flamed for this, but this is just how I am. I enjoy knowing that the way I look pleases him. It brings ME joy.
Another thing is, accepting someone for "who he is" may go too far. What if he is destructive? What if he has some terrible addictions, habits that are destroying your life? In that case, it's simply silly to accept this person for "who he is".
I believe your boyfriend is joking around about "next boyfriend". Since he already accepted you with tattoos, despite his dislike towards them, I doubt he would drop you because of another one. I think it's just his way to say that he doesn't like tattoos. I don't think it has anything to do with accepting or not accepting. A man has a right to preferences.
what would I say if he e.g. wanted to run around naked or get a tattoo of a spiders web across his face? Would I accept him as he is?
I can honestly say the answer is yes.
I accept my husband for who he is simply because I like who he is and I wouldn't change anything, not one thing about him. Does he have flaws? Absolutely. Do we argue or disagree on things, does he drive me crazy on many occassions? Of course. But overall his personality is admirable and overshadows anything negative I may think about him. Something so trivial like an extra tattoo would not bother me. He is a brunette and I prefer brunettes, but once during our relationship, he bleached his hair blond and although I disliked it, I still liked HIM. Knowing how much I didn't like him blond, he never repeated this experiment.
On the other hand, it's in my nature to please my husband. If he likes me with dark hair, I'm not going to run off and dye my hair blond. Perhaps it's not the right approach and I may get flamed for this, but this is just how I am. I enjoy knowing that the way I look pleases him. It brings ME joy.
Another thing is, accepting someone for "who he is" may go too far. What if he is destructive? What if he has some terrible addictions, habits that are destroying your life? In that case, it's simply silly to accept this person for "who he is".
I believe your boyfriend is joking around about "next boyfriend". Since he already accepted you with tattoos, despite his dislike towards them, I doubt he would drop you because of another one. I think it's just his way to say that he doesn't like tattoos. I don't think it has anything to do with accepting or not accepting. A man has a right to preferences.
I feel the same way. I accept and love my husband for who he is, but I also accept that I will not like everything he does nor do I expect him to cave in just for me (although he does value my opinion).
I believe he feels the same way about me. I value his opinion and depending on the matter, I decide for myself whether I will go forward with something or not, without fear that he will love me less. On the flip side, there are many things I do based on his preferences, just because. It's not always about asserting my independence as a matter of principle; sometimes it's just about my wanting to please him.
I feel the same way. I accept and love my husband for who he is, but I also accept that I will not like everything he does nor do I expect him to cave in just for me (although he does value my opinion).
I believe he feels the same way about me. I value his opinion and depending on the matter, I decide for myself whether I will go forward with something or not, without fear that he will love me less. On the flip side, there are many things I do based on his preferences, just because. It's not always about asserting my independence as a matter of principle; sometimes it's just about my wanting to please him.
Couldn't rep you, but this is how I feel as well. Asserting independence simply has to do with ability to make your own choices and I choose to look in the way that is pleasing to my husband, from the hair on my head to the hair on my ladyparts.
I accept my husband for who he is simply because I like who he is and I wouldn't change anything, not one thing about him. Does he have flaws? Absolutely. Do we argue or disagree on things, does he drive me crazy on many occassions? Of course. But overall his personality is admirable and overshadows anything negative I may think about him. Something so trivial like an extra tattoo would not bother me. He is a brunette and I prefer brunettes, but once during our relationship, he bleached his hair blond and although I disliked it, I still liked HIM. Knowing how much I didn't like him blond, he never repeated this experiment.
On the other hand, it's in my nature to please my husband. If he likes me with dark hair, I'm not going to run off and dye my hair blond. Perhaps it's not the right approach and I may get flamed for this, but this is just how I am. I enjoy knowing that the way I look pleases him. It brings ME joy.
Another thing is, accepting someone for "who he is" may go too far. What if he is destructive? What if he has some terrible addictions, habits that are destroying your life? In that case, it's simply silly to accept this person for "who he is".
I believe your boyfriend is joking around about "next boyfriend". Since he already accepted you with tattoos, despite his dislike towards them, I doubt he would drop you because of another one. I think it's just his way to say that he doesn't like tattoos. I don't think it has anything to do with accepting or not accepting. A man has a right to preferences.
Quote:
Originally Posted by robee70
I feel the same way. I accept and love my husband for who he is, but I also accept that I will not like everything he does nor do I expect him to cave in just for me (although he does value my opinion).
I believe he feels the same way about me. I value his opinion and depending on the matter, I decide for myself whether I will go forward with something or not, without fear that he will love me less. On the flip side, there are many things I do based on his preferences, just because. It's not always about asserting my independence as a matter of principle; sometimes it's just about my wanting to please him.
I feel the same way.
I love short hair but my husband loves my long hair, so as much as it bugs me, I keep my hair long because it pleases him.
Relationships are give and take and sometimes we have to acquiesce to the one we care for, just because.
I agree with Yankee, how many threads of encouragement and approval to you need to reassure you, you will live if you leave this relationship?
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