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I wouldn't have a problem with it, but then I see my wife like a bird. She is free to fly away as she is to return. So far she returns.
She talks , email's, and comminicates in what ever ways she wants and I could care a less to her x, her old bo's and anyone she wants. I never worry about it one way or another.
No one can controll another's heart, so I never try.
She is the same for me. I can take any female I want out over night, and shack up in the same place. We have one rule, no cheating. Once ends it all, and we have it all. Not much money, but we are rich in our relationship.
If I asked to read e-mails or she did, there would be 0 problems, but I don't and have no needs to bother thinking on it a seconds worth of time.
I'm with everyone else, as long as you are keeping on topic I don't see a huge problem A couple things however, always assume his wife is reading your emails because she just may be, whether he/you know it or not. Also, don't get personal, meaning no discussing problems with your husband or his wife. That definetly crosses the line and you pay the price.
while you may not have an emotional connection to him he may have to you. men normally don't share their feelings. if he is telling you his hopes, dreams and frustrations he is emotionally connected to you. is he sharing that personal side with you and not his wife, then he is having an emotional affair. emailing a dozen times a day, having lunch once a month is a serious "friendship" sounds to me he isn't very happy in his marriage or he wouldn't be sharing his personal dreams. your spouse should be your best friend, not a gal you used to work with. if there is nothing up between the two of you any and all emails, phone conversations and lunch dates should be innocent enough that it wouldn't bother either of you for your spouses to be a part of it in any way. you think the email is too private for your husband to see, then it is not something you should be engaged in if you value your husband more than your friend. a good friend also values their friends marriage and would not want to come between their friend and their spouse
Having continued to follow this thread it occurs to me that neither of you has spouses who fulfill you. You are sharing with each other the hopes and dreams which you don't (for whatever reasons) share with your spouses. You say he's a bit of a nerd where looks are concerned and isn't physically attractive to you but I have a little suspicion that he may feel a little differently where you're concerned. I think you enjoy the attention and the fact that you're "needed". I'm guessing it irks you just a little bit that your husband has no interest in this "relationship" you have and just shrugs it off ...
I'm very nonplussed that so few of those who've responded have brought up the number of emails you write in one day to this man. TWELVE in one day? I don't know anyone who (bored at work or not) emails the same person 12X/day discussing basically trivial matters. I see nothing good coming of this and someone is going to be hurt in the long run.
the emails just make my days so much more pleasant and interesting
We are just passing the time in boring jobs.
I think many of the people on this board who have thousands of posts are doing so to pass the time during a boring day. Message board posters have a chance to express ideas and exchange opinions with people all over the world. In my case, my married email pen pal and I have discovered someone else who shares many of the traits all of you enjoy in the fellow posters on City Data. While we email to pass the time, we so much enjoy our regular interaction. It makes our day be SO MUCH more pleasurable. I just do not see what the harm is in this.
No one in a regular marriage can expect their spouse to take care of all their needs for interesting and intimate conversation. If they do, they are putting too much pressure on their husband or wife. Just because I really enjoy my daily interaction with my pen pal does not mean I do not like my interaction with my husband, or am missing something in my marriage. My pen pal just likes to talk about topics my husband has only limited interest in. There are many things I like to talk about with my husband that my pen pal would not like to discuss.
Again, I see no harm in my regular ongoing email communication with my married friend. Why do you?
Quote:
Originally Posted by TempesT68
You're both bored at work and i'm sure it helps pass the time, nothing wrong with that.
Again, I see no harm in my regular ongoing email communication with my married friend. Why do you?
I think the reasons have been clearly laid out. You keep repeating the same thing. So, you either are simply trying to extend the life of a dying thread, or you just enjoy attention. Get over it. We really don't care.
Would you hug or touch a married opposite sex person you were "just friends" with?
In my other post on the relationship board, I talked about a married man who I have become very close to. I am a happily married woman of 30.
Anyway, in the other thread if you haven't read it, I talk about meeting a man at work who I had lots in common with and enjoyed visiting with very much. He has left the company but we stay in touch on a daily basis with loads of emails and get together for lunch on a regular basis.
The latest topic of discussion between us is should we hug or touch each other in an innocent way when we see each other. So far we have not and it seems strange. I hug all my close female friends when I first see them and again when our social event is over. A hug would be even more common if we had not seen each other for a long time. If I am close to my married male friend, then I think we should hug or touch each other in an innocent non sexual way when we meet each other also. How about you, would you?
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the emails just make my days so much more pleasant and interesting
