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... I think it would be hard to prove that something like that is even coercion, without knowing the details of their relationship.
*nods* Whining and begging are not coercion, even if earlier episodes of whining and begging were followed by violence. It may well be coercion in her mind due to his previous behavior, but that doesn't make it so.
If a someone who's been convicted of assault and robbery (and served his time) approaches me and asks to borrow $50, I might be afraid of what he'll do if I say no, but unless I say no and he takes the $50 anyway, he's not guilty of theft. If I agree to give it to him because I'm scared, that's my problem.
*nods* Whining and begging are not coercion, even if earlier episodes of whining and begging were followed by violence. It may well be coercion in her mind due to his previous behavior, but that doesn't make it so.
If a someone who's been convicted of assault and robbery (and served his time) approaches me and asks to borrow $50, I might be afraid of what he'll do if I say no, but unless I say no and he takes the $50 anyway, he's not guilty of theft. If I agree to give it to him because I'm scared, that's my problem.
That's where there's a gray area. If there is an obvious pattern that every time you refused, you were punished.. that is coercion, albeit indirectly. In this case you may be afraid to deny them again with good reason.
However, if someone was physically violent 1 out 5 or 10 times or once 5 years ago, then it becomes unclear, because coercion is generally when you compel someone or threaten them to do or not do something. Without benefit of a direct threat or a consistent pattern, it seems like it would be hard to prove.
Let me clarify, I didn't want this to turn into another discussion of why she is still in this relationship, how dumb she is for staying, how she must like it, is asking for it, is lying about it....you get my drift. The stupidity has already begun.
I'm giving an example. It is not hypothetical. She lost her drive before that because of the abuse. That doesn't mean it stopped all together; he wasn't getting enough. When she expressed why she lost interest, he became violent, more than once. From that point forward, she was having sex with him out of fear, to the point that she was doing it while in pain.
We can totally dismiss this situation and use other examples if it makes it easier.
I may only answer the questions as you ask them; additional details later potentially turn it into another question.
Do you like the color red?
-Yes.
What if it's in your eye and an indicator of pain?
- Not so much.
And I understood PRECISELY what you meant by not wanting answers to involve the whys, wherefores and how comes, nor suggestions about what she should do. Which is PRECISELY why I said what I said at the end and PRECISELY why I discussed NONE of the things you specifically said you wanted to exclude. I utterly fail to see why you'd quote MY post and then say "the stupidity has already begun" when I followed your instructions to the Nth degree.
Do I really have to say he hit her? OK then, she says he did.
Yes, you do. In your OP she's living with the THREAT of violence. Now you're rolling your eyes and questioning whether you have to CLARIFY that he actually hit her.
I can threaten to dance on your unleavened corpse until I've quite literally stomped your guts out; that in no way is the same as actually killing you and then doing a *** on your carcass until your intestines have been ground into the dust.
I'm going to do both of us a favor and stop reading your posts because you're not expressing yourself anywhere nearly as clearly as you believe and you don't care for my form of response. You're looking for a specific response and not getting it. I get the feeling we're supposed to be yowling at the top of our collective lungs and saying You tell this girl she has been RAPED and she should press every charge imaginable, poor thing!
If sex is painful and she says she had a cyst before that made it so, why didn't she go to the doctor? I know that is not the topic, but I do think it plays in her argument to not have sex.
No, it isn't. I know you have read and contributed to the threads started by women afraid to leave - afraid for their life, their children's safety, etc. So NOT leaving isn't consenting to be abused. Rape is abuse. I know a licensed, trained therapist who chose not to scream or fight back when her then husband forced her to have sex with him. Her decision was not consent, it was protection of their minor children who were only feet away.
.
I've been a victim and assisted others in the same and consider myself educated on the topic. Reasons to stay with an abuser are as unique as each individual case, when a women stays, she asking to be victimized, the dynamics generally don't change. Does that mean he has the right to continue to abuse, certainly not, but at some point she needs to take some responsibility for her own welfare and that of her children.
Most states choose to label the crime of rape as sexual assault. Sexual assault is divided into degrees: first-, second-, third-, and fourth-degree sexual assault. They are one in the same. Rape is not a more severe offense than sexual assault.
As far as the coercion goes "Terroristic threats", which is what most states call it, is a crime, which has a maximum penalty of prison if you are found guilty. It can also be considered a domestic violence charge.
As far as the coercion goes "Terroristic threats", which is what most states call it, is a crime, which has a maximum penalty of prison if you are found guilty. It can also be considered a domestic violence charge.
All of what the OP described is illegal.
Nonsense.
Unfortunately, spousal abuse isn't too uncommon.
Unfortunately, one spouse begging for sex from the other isn't too uncommon either.
Fortunately, begging isn't illegal, even if one has been guilty of abuse.
Nonsense.
Unfortunately, spousal abuse isn't too uncommon.
Unfortunately, one spouse begging for sex from the other isn't too uncommon either.
Fortunately, begging isn't illegal, even if one has been guilty of abuse.
Threats of violence/or intimidation for not cooperating sexually, is not begging.
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