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I married someone with whom the connection was awesome in all other ways, but the sex was only so-so. I don't think I would do that again.
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Originally Posted by felicitev21
I have never been with a guy who wanted it as much as I did .
Same here.
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Originally Posted by TaoistDude
Of course, being totally devoted to each other in all ways, and seriously attempting to create conditions conducive to each other's happiness, plays an important part in keeping the sexual interest healthy. It's a self-reinforcing cycle, rather than a negative feedback loop that so many seem to fall into.
There's an old saying, sex is like money - it's no big deal unless you're not getting any!
I always "say" sex isn't the most important thing, but when I haven't had it in a while, suddenly it matters a lot.
To answer - it IS very important. I need it a few times a week to be satisfied. Every day? Not in most cases, but on vacation alone w/hubby it could happen.
Sex is extremely important to me. Though I'm married now, I have never been with a guy who wanted it as much as I did . I could just lie in bed and have sex all day. Matter of fact, before we had all these kids, my husband and I used to take a day off together, rent a hotel for the day, and do just that. Yup...if marriage doesn't diminish your sex life then children DEFINITELY will. With one it's still manageable...but we have three. And yes, in the past, I have left boyfriends because they wouldn't give me enough sex or because their skills were not up to par.
For you, do the kids themselves kill your drive, or is it just a matter of no time/opportunity??
I'm somewhat like you - most relationships I wanted sex more, including with my hubs at first, but then after our first child was born my libido shrunk a bit - and after 3 kids, it was almost nonexistant for a while - the idea of sex was nice, but between being exhausted (me AND hubby) and always having at least one child in the room with us at various times, we had very little sex for a while...sometimes months would pass. I wanted to want it, but was too tired to really feel that desire physically or emotionally.
Now that they're older and staying in their rooms at night, and...my husband is finally getting used to his new work schedule we've ramped back up to several times per week!
Well, yeah...I'd have to say that when I was single, I didn't typically do the ONS thing or casual sex outside a committed relationship with a couple exceptions. During those times the "mood" struck maybe once a week to a point where I had to "take care of" myself.
I'm just curious to see if women think sex is as important as men think.
Sex is vitally important - to a relationship. Not interested in one night stands. I have a very high sex drive that I have learned to control. But when I am in a relationship I would want to have sex every day if possible, or at least every other day.
If the sex is bad because the man isn't into: foreplay, oral, touching like how his partner likes to be touched, detached during intercourse, no intimate connection, etc. - the relationship will ultimately fail. Sex and intimacy feed each other.
There's an old saying, sex is like oxygen - it's no big deal unless you're not getting any!
fix'd, more accurate
also money is ALWAYS a big deal
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