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Old 03-24-2011, 05:42 PM
 
30,907 posts, read 32,846,024 times
Reputation: 26919

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Quote:
Originally Posted by headhunter18 View Post
While what you say might be idealistic, in the real world, a shorter guy could get dejected/depressed after having got a NO for the most part from most of the women, in this case, the OP is facing a similar issue, getting this surgery, while it can't make a NO a YES, it can definitely help him encounter lesser NO's and more YESs, and that's precisely the reason he is convinced about the efficacy of getting it done.
No, it's not idealistic. At all. Look around you. How many less-than-hot men and less-than-hot women do you see walking around holding hands? Many, many of them. No, a man does not "have to" be tall in order to have a girlfriend. That's not idealistic, that's just reality.

No, it can't "definitely" help him encounter fewer nos and more yeses...he's still going to be himself, he's still going to be judgmental of women before he even meets them, he's still going to have this "stigmatized" past, he's still going to be angry, he may actually end up being MORE resentful that "I had to go through horrible painful surgeries just to get a date...women really are horrible people!", etc.

I don't really see how this surgery, at this stage is going to help the OP in ANY way, even in a psychological one.

 
Old 03-24-2011, 05:46 PM
 
Location: Charlotte
817 posts, read 807,660 times
Reputation: 304
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
I disagree. More than likely women were paying your friend more attention because he was simply acting more confident because of his fake height increase. Hell, I'm 6'1 barefoot and I still go out wearing 5" heels... Screw people and their notions of what's 'attractive'.
Maybe, that's just your opinion, anyway, who is my friend here, I am talking about the OP here, not any friend of mine, as far as I know, none of my shorter friends are getting the height surgery done, I don't think any of them care too much about it either.
 
Old 03-24-2011, 05:49 PM
 
Location: Charlotte
817 posts, read 807,660 times
Reputation: 304
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
Now this, OTOH, is a great example of psychology and one keeping oneself down.

No, BTW, I wasn't putting words in the OP's mouth; in fact, I said "if" that is the case. And I also gave the "if not" scenario.

Anyway, back to my point, here. Looks do matter, yes. Does shortness matter so much that a person simply couldn't get a decent date with a decent person, period? If your looks are John Merrick-esque (not putting Joe aka John down, he was a brilliant man), yes. If a person is grossly obese, yes. If a person is just short? Not even midget or dwarf (two different things) short but on the shorter side? Come on. In that case it's not the height that's the problem. It's the person's inner anger, insecurity and prejudgement that are getting in the way.

We women can feel all that. We don't like it. We back off.
Why do you assume the OP is all that, just because he is short, you see, you yourself have fallen prey to a horrible misconception, do you see what I am saying now?

For all you know, the OP could be the most wonderful man in the universe, but you have assumed that he has inner anger, insecurity and prejudgment just because he is short, you are a classic example for what you have been preaching against so far.
 
Old 03-24-2011, 05:52 PM
 
Location: Charlotte
817 posts, read 807,660 times
Reputation: 304
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
No, it's not idealistic. At all. Look around you. How many less-than-hot men and less-than-hot women do you see walking around holding hands? Many, many of them. No, a man does not "have to" be tall in order to have a girlfriend. That's not idealistic, that's just reality.

No, it can't "definitely" help him encounter fewer nos and more yeses...he's still going to be himself, he's still going to be judgmental of women before he even meets them, he's still going to have this "stigmatized" past, he's still going to be angry, he may actually end up being MORE resentful that "I had to go through horrible painful surgeries just to get a date...women really are horrible people!", etc.

I don't really see how this surgery, at this stage is going to help the OP in ANY way, even in a psychological one.
He's not saying anything about the women being horrible just based on their choices in men's height, he's merely saying that he is going to improve his chances, and that's about it. Also, everyone is picky about what they want, men wouldn't date an overweight woman too for the most part, yes, it's unfair but that's how it is, and what can a woman do about it, she could cut down her flab and become healthier, since height is not something that could be changed in the same way, the OP has decided to go for a surgery, I see nothing wrong with that either.
 
Old 03-24-2011, 05:53 PM
 
30,907 posts, read 32,846,024 times
Reputation: 26919
Also, why would the OP, or anyone, want to be able to get women who "wouldn't otherwise give him the time of day" due to a couple of inches of height?

You guys want a girl like that? Someone who, then, is going to drop you like dirt the moment you lose one of your apparently "required" "male" criteria? Whew, you better run fast to keep up with that, hon.

Good luck with all that. I personally would take it as a great weeder-outer right off the bat. If a man didn't want me because I'm only 5 foot 1, but would have gone right for it if I were identical in every other way except I was 5 foot 5, well, see ya and enjoy that palm, hon. No hard feelings but good God I could not work up an amount of attraction to such an idiot.

I wear glasses. I once knew a man who said he would never date a woman who wore glasses because what if they wound up married, had children and she passed on her "poor genetics" to the children, and then they needed glasses?

I thought the dude was SO CUTE up until that moment. I had the hots for him! Once he said that, I just...I don't know. I certainly didn't hate him or anything. No need. We remained great friends. I simply no longer thought of him in "that way"...he just wasn't for me. I actually wasn't even offended. I mean if he doesn't want his kids in glasses, he doesn't want his kids in glasses. It's his right to try to tip the odds in that favor if it's really that important to him so who am I to say?

I'm SURE the "pool" of guys who want to date four-eyed chicks like me is MUCH smaller than the "pool" of guys who want to date the hotties with either great eyes or contacts. So what? They will find someone for them, then, right? Someone with good vision. I haven't lost out by not getting them. (This spoken from my pre-married days, BTW...I'm married and obviously not looking right now.) I have really never ever thought that way. The thought that other people do think in this way kind of blows my mind. So what? Move on. How many SOs do you need? A "huge pool" of them? Or just one great one, who doesn't care whether you're 5'6 or 5'10 or 5'2?

Of course, I'm sure this is all falling on deaf ears...
 
Old 03-24-2011, 06:01 PM
 
30,907 posts, read 32,846,024 times
Reputation: 26919
Quote:
Originally Posted by headhunter18 View Post
Why do you assume the OP is all that
Because if he weren't those things, he wouldn't be so insecure that he'd think he needed to have someone break his legs apart and separate them week by week painfully for the better part of a year for something that might not even fully work, and/or might leave an odd deformity-style result just to get a date.

It's not rocket science.

If the OP really were a great person, etc. as you say and "just short" and that were the only issue, I guarantee you he'd have dates. I know because I've dated great guys who were "just short," who had dates before me, and surely had them after me.
 
Old 03-24-2011, 06:04 PM
 
30,907 posts, read 32,846,024 times
Reputation: 26919
Quote:
Originally Posted by headhunter18 View Post

To get that one girl, you have to of course get a chance at most younger women
No you don't. I actually don't understand this at all. A great, sweet, nice, loving girl who is willing to date a short guy, won't do so unless he's...already with other girls?

I'm not getting that.
 
Old 03-24-2011, 06:07 PM
 
30,907 posts, read 32,846,024 times
Reputation: 26919
Quote:
Originally Posted by headhunter18 View Post
Then what about the one's getting a botox, what about those getting a liposuction done, what about those that are getting a facial reconstructive surgery done, what about those that are getting a nose job, since they all got magnificent personalities all those little faults shouldn't really matter, I wonder why then that a lot of people resort to getting all those things done, do you know why?
Because they're insecure about their looks, too. I wouldn't say otherwise...why do you think I would?

"...Since they all got (sic) magnificent personalities all those little faults shouldn't really matter..." If they do, in fact, have magnificent personalities then something like that shouldn't really mater. You're right about that. I don't disagree with you at all. To whom does it matter? To them. To the people getting the plastic surgery. They're not waiting to find someone who doesn't care whether his girlfriend has plumped-out lips or not. Instead, they're assuming that guys are shallow and are rearranging themselves based on that.

Why would you think I'd disagree with that?
 
Old 03-24-2011, 06:09 PM
 
Location: Charlotte
817 posts, read 807,660 times
Reputation: 304
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
Because they're insecure about their looks, too. I wouldn't say otherwise...why do you think I would?

"...Since they all got (sic) magnificent personalities all those little faults shouldn't really matter..." If they do, in fact, have magnificent personalities then something like that shouldn't really mater. You're right about that. I don't disagree with you at all. To whom does it matter? To them. To the people getting the plastic surgery. They're not waiting to find someone who doesn't care whether his girlfriend has plumped-out lips or not. Instead, they're assuming that guys are shallow and are rearranging themselves based on that.

Why would you think I'd disagree with that?
Look hun, I agree with you, all that stuff doesn't matter to people like you or I, most people in our society, and the society itself isn't unfortunately that way, that's why people resort to these things.

For the most part, in the world we live in, LOOKS matter the most, and are often deal breakers, not always, but most times, atleast to get a first shot at asking out a woman, and for a man, height is part of that looks, just like how weight defines a woman's looks. Since you mentioned John Merrick, I assume that you have watched "The Elephant Man" movie, what does it teach? That looks don't necessarily define a person's character or his ability to comprehend things in a rational manner, however, the society does act biased against such individuals and make it a point to mock them and ridicule them about their apparent lack of those looks dictated by the society as attractive. FACT
 
Old 03-25-2011, 12:13 AM
 
Location: Yucaipa, California
9,894 posts, read 21,932,595 times
Reputation: 6844
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