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I'm a man, but back when I was single, I'd never sleep w/ a girl if I knew she was a virgin. Wasn't an experience issue, as much as I just thought that should be something special, and thought it might've been for them, I knew it wouldn't be on that same level for me. Just didn't think it'd be fair to them.
I'm a man, but back when I was single, I'd never sleep w/ a girl if I knew she was a virgin. Wasn't an experience issue, as much as I just thought that should be something special, and thought it might've been for them, I knew it wouldn't be on that same level for me. Just didn't think it'd be fair to them.
Sounds like a post coming from a very deep man looooooooooool.
Im a guy and ill be 42 next month and im still a virgin and when i say virgin i mean virgin. Only thing i did was kiss one girl on national tv, but that was a complete surprise that I didnt know would happen and something I would never do again. I would actually prefer to date a girl that is a virgin because she isthe kind of woman that would value most the true meaning of sex and love making and would totally be in tune to how I feel about it emotionally as well as spiritually.
I laugh when I see someone say that they would not date a person that is a virgin or they might give them a chance as if virginity is a negative lol. Obviously you people are talking about virgins who cant get any, not virgins by choice who are waiting for marriage (the real virgins in my book). Virgins not by choice obviously are non virgins just waiting for some sex.
Just picturing some 40 year old guy passing notes that say " Do you like me yes or no" at a board meeting.
These must be the people that jump off bridges or in front of buses when things don't work out. Not learning how to deal with emotional issues like the rest of us did in our teens.
May as well have a picture of a wheelchair on your tag.
Developmentally Disabled.
Sex is a normal part of life and nothing to be ashamed of. If your a 40 year old guy and never done it, you've screwed yourself.
I laugh when I see someone say that they would not date a person that is a virgin or they might give them a chance as if virginity is a negative lol. Obviously you people are talking about virgins who cant get any, not virgins by choice who are waiting for marriage (the real virgins in my book). Virgins not by choice obviously are non virgins just waiting for some sex.
Nope this was back when I was in my teens so it just hadn't happened for them yet, and I was the guy "special" enough to be their first. In that age group the number who just had been waiting out numbered the ones who were waiting for marriage and some girls do come to a point where they just say I'm tired of waiting.
I have an interesting story to share on this thread, and please keep in mind that I'm not making broad judgements on older male virgins - just sharing a scenario that brings a different angle on this topic and why some women might shy away from them.
A year ago, two friends of mine starting dating. The woman is in her late-20s, been in long-term relationships, not a virgin. The man is mid-30s, never been in a long-term relationship, a virgin. Both good-looking, great personalities, bright careers, etc. She does not know that he was a virgin - I purposely didn't share this tidbit with her (during our "girl talks") because I didn't want sexual stigmas getting in the way of their budding relationship, nor is it my place to - he didn't tell her either.
Months into their relationship, she unwittingly deflowered him, and didn't sense any signs of his inexperience - great for everyone, right? Well, eh..... Now, a year later, she confides in me that he cannot "get it up" half the time, hardly initiates sex, and she has discovered his porn collection (he shyly won't share it with her).
So here's my theory on this situation: men have sexual needs, and this man clearly (during his single/virgin years) attended to his needs with porn, all the way up to his mid-30s. There is absolutely nothing wrong with porn, but it seems to me that he's hardwired to respond only to porn, not with an actual living/breathing woman. This woman is clearly suffering for it, and she's preparing to end this relationship soon if his impotence doesn't improve - regardless of how great the rest of their relationship is.
The point to my story: there are some legitimate reasons as to why a woman won't date an older male virgin; can you blame women for not wanting to enter into a relationship that might be fraught with higher incidences of sexual dysfunction?
Sounds like a post coming from a very deep man looooooooooool.
Im a guy and ill be 42 next month and im still a virgin and when i say virgin i mean virgin. Only thing i did was kiss one girl on national tv, but that was a complete surprise that I didnt know would happen and something I would never do again. I would actually prefer to date a girl that is a virgin because she isthe kind of woman that would value most the true meaning of sex and love making and would totally be in tune to how I feel about it emotionally as well as spiritually.
I laugh when I see someone say that they would not date a person that is a virgin or they might give them a chance as if virginity is a negative lol. Obviously you people are talking about virgins who cant get any, not virgins by choice who are waiting for marriage (the real virgins in my book). Virgins not by choice obviously are non virgins just waiting for some sex.
How does someone who has never done a certain thing (sex) value the true meaning of it (sex) the most?
I'm sorry, but if you have no experience with something, you can't understand the 'true meaning' of it the most. I'm a heterosexual, and I would never claim to know the 'true meaning' of being a homosexual in current society, the most. I would never claim to know the 'true meaning' of how it feels to have a miscarriage as a woman, the most.
As far as the OP, I would have trouble dating a virgin, even at my tender age of 25. Here are a few subjective observations:
1. Virgins tend to have lower self-esteem and self-assuredness than others. I am a pretty confident guy, and I would prefer a girl who is confident as well.
2. If they are a virgin by choice, then there is no way I would want to be with them. A large portion of these people are religious, which is probably the biggest non-physical turn-off for me. Sex is a crucial part of intimacy, for me, in a relationship. Plus, sex is just fun .
3. The whole inexperience issue.
4. The "waiting for someone special" issue. I don't want to be that 'someone special'. I don't want to worry that once I have sex with you, that you will cling to me because I was your 'special' first.
5. I tend to find that virgins have these fairy-tale, wish-washy views on: life, love, sex, relationships, etc. I am more of a realist.
Example: "I can't wait to find my soul mate, then we fall in love and get married! We will start a big family and live happily ever after! Then once we die, we will go to heaven and be reunited there! I love God!"
I don't believe in soul mates. I don't believe in God. I think this is our one shot at life, so let's experience it the best we can. I don't understand the need for "marriage" outside of legal/financial advantages. I would rather be 'partners' instead of making it contractual. I don't need a legal document to show how committed I am to them.
Again, please note that these are subjective observations, and not supposed to be objective arguments.
The point to my story: there are some legitimate reasons as to why a woman won't date an older male virgin; can you blame women for not wanting to enter into a relationship that might be fraught with higher incidences of sexual dysfunction?
You're classifying flukish for "legitimate" in this case. Do I assume a woman going without for years, or a virgin at 30something that she doesn't have needs, and hasn't met them with battery-operated precision? Do I assume then need to assume for decent sex with her I'll need something with straps hold something that has a chance of electrocuting me in a place I'd rather not have scorch marks?
Nah, it's just because women assign normality to it just as much as men, and if by certain ages you haven't "done" enough, then there must be something wrong with you since you didn't try, or because you were trying and failed. Plain and simple.
Waynec613, I'm simply stating, in regards to the specific story that I shared, that this couple is facing the demise of their relationship due to the man's physical inability to develop a healthy sexual relationship with his woman, because he has become dependent on years of virgin sex with porn. It is one and only one example why some woman are squeamish about male virgins.
I won't go into your remarks about women and their vibrating ways because the OP has asked specifically about MALE virgins. Ever heard of "porn addiction" and the many reports, studies, and support groups for this? You think that male virgins who rely on porn are "flukish" - they never use porn? Heck, I'd think there was something wrong with the virgin if he didn't dabble in porn to pass the time. But prolonged dependence on it to the detriment of his future sexual partnerships? Based on my story, anyone with common sense can deduce that this man's prolonged virginity was the catalyst for his porn dependence.
Saying that this story and my example is "flukish", and not a legitimate concern for women is like saying a smoker who gets lung cancer is "flukish" - not all smokers get cancer, so none of those carcinogenic ingredients in a cigarette are "legitimate concerns", hmmmm?
Saying that this story and my example is "flukish", and not a legitimate concern for women is like saying a smoker who gets lung cancer is "flukish" - not all smokers get cancer, so none of those carcinogenic ingredients in a cigarette are "legitimate concerns", hmmmm?
Heh, no, it's not legitimate, the better comparison is someone who smokes, you've rationalized that he's in IV drug user and has AIDS.
Sex is a need for both sexes. Considered "artificial" or not. I don't assume because I can't get a laundry list on the woman for partners that she's sexually handicapped.
Not that it means anything if that's what you believe, but I'd be seriously disappointed in a woman's thinking myself if that's what she thought of me when I was far younger and hadn't had it yet. No wonder people hide out a lot, people are effed-up.
Last edited by Waynec613; 06-10-2009 at 12:51 PM..
\There is absolutely nothing wrong with porn, but it seems to me that he's hardwired to respond only to porn, not with an actual living/breathing woman. This woman is clearly suffering for it, and she's preparing to end this relationship soon if his impotence doesn't improve - regardless of how great the rest of their relationship is.
I'm a little confused with your thinking here. You said there's nothing wrong with porn. Then you say that this woman is clearly suffering from it. I think there are numerous studies that show porn, if left unchecked, can destroy a relationship. Porn is an addiction. Once you dig yourself too deep in it, it's very hard to get out. People start fantasizing their partners to be like the actors in the video and often times it's hurtful. I find it laughable how porn is now considered "normal" in society. Perhaps the reason America has so many problems with divorce rates, sexual harrassments, etc is due to porn.
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I'm simply stating, in regards to the specific story that I shared, that this couple is facing the demise of their relationship due to the man's physical inability to develop a healthy sexual relationship with his woman, because he has become dependent on years of virgin sex with porn. It is one and only one example why some woman are squeamish about male virgins. 
