trying to move on and its difficult (dating, girls, love)
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I am trying to get over the recent breakup with my ex. (I am 21 and he is 20.) We had been seeing each other since October at college. He decided to end things last week, due to our constant arguments. He said that he didn't want to be with me anymore and that he needed a break from all of this.
I am known to say terribly harsh words when I am angry, stressed, or a lethal combo of the two. This summer, I am doing a Web Design internship and taking a summer class at the same time, and haven't been able to see my family and close friends on a regular basis since I am living at my college campus apartment instead of at home (it too far away!!). I have been leaning more to the stressed and depressed side and my attitude took an awful toll on my relationship with this guy.
It also didn't help that he wasn't calling me on a regular basis and was hanging out with his friend's younger sister more frequently as of recently, whom he swore he told me about before. (He did not). I didn't like this one bit and told him how I felt. He swore that he wasn't cheating on me and said that he would prove it. I still didn't buy it. He's a nice, faithful guy. Maybe I overreacted, I tend to do that. But my "gut feeling" told me there was something wrong. Anyway, we got into a nasty argument last Wednesday and he decided to end it then and there on the phone. This was the final straw that ended the 1-day previous break-ups we had. I was devastated and called the one person who will always be there for me: Mom.
Over the past week, I reflected on my behavior in my former relationship and I was very disgusted with myself and the nasty things I have said to this guy over the past several months! I do not want to be like this anymore and am making changes to the way I talk to people and handle my anger and stress.
I left a message on his answering machine today, stating that I was deeply sorry for how I acted in out past relationship and asked him for forgiveness. I know that it's not going to bring us back together, but I needed to do it for my own sake. I have not heard from him, as of now. I shouldn't expect a response, but it would be nice to talk to him again. Sometimes I want to forget about him and move on, but there are times that I want to patch things up and start all over w/ him again. I am still in love with him and it hurts so much. But I know that I need to get on with my life, like I have done before.
For the time being, I am visiting friends and family during the weekends and then some, trying to get over him. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. How can I easily get over this guy? I am tired of suffering and want to be happy, single (for now) and enjoy life! I also don't want this to distract from my work.
Last edited by stressedCollegeGirl89; 06-30-2010 at 05:50 PM..
Reason: mispellings
I am so sorry that you are hurting; I am sure that most of us here know how you feel.
Please don't call the guy any more.
You are very lucky to have a loyal, loving support system in your mom. Keep talking to her; she will provide you with comfort. I know my late mother did this for me when I needed it.
Beat your feelings by going out with a friend or two and even though your heart isn't in it, pretend that you are enjoying yourself.
I did this once or twice when an ex broke up with me without even telling me, can you believe it? He didn't even phone me, the yellow-bellied coward. He just stopped contacting me, and I was smitten with him.
I pretended to have fun at a local bar and he happened to be there with one of his buddies. He looked at me almost incredulously, expecting me to be hurt. Oh, I was hurt, but I wasn't about to give him the satisfaction of knowing it, the rotten jerk.
Should you be in the same place as the ex, I strongly suggest that you have 'fun'. It's a very effective tool.
I hope you are not wondering why this guy broke up with you. To quote you: "I am known to say terribly harsh words when I am angry, stressed, or a lethal combo of the two". Why would anyone in their right mind want to put up with this kind of treatment. For his own peace of mind, it would be best for him if he didn't call. It is nice to have the support of your Mom. Maybe in time you can learn to be nice, and find it doesn't hurt. In fact it makes you feel good. Getting over a lost love takes time, use it wisely.
I hope you are not wondering why this guy broke up with you. To quote you: "I am known to say terribly harsh words when I am angry, stressed, or a lethal combo of the two". Why would anyone in their right mind want to put up with this kind of treatment. For his own peace of mind, it would be best for him if he didn't call. It is nice to have the support of your Mom. Maybe in time you can learn to be nice, and find it doesn't hurt. In fact it makes you feel good. Getting over a lost love takes time, use it wisely.
shaking my head--It seems like Nite Ryder always has a similar response.
Hopefully, Nite Ryder doesn't live in a glass house.
I am known to say terribly harsh words when I am angry, stressed, or a lethal combo of the two...
This sentence reveals all. You clearly state here that you have said mean and hurtful things to him, and you have done this repeatedly.
Keep your lame attempts to try to justify this unacceptable behavior: being angry or under stress does NOT, in any way, justify saying awful things to him (or anyone else you love or who truly loves you). You acted in a very unloving way to someone you claim to have loved, and you did this many times. At a certain point, he (rightly) got fed up and walked out on your B.S. And if he is smart, he will not return to you for more verbal abuse.
What should you do? Grow up, become mature, and learn a valuable lesson here: that name calling and saying hurtful things -- even if you're "stressed" -- to those you love and who love you is simply wrong and indefensible.
And then find a new, good guy and treat him well...instead of the sh*t you doled out to the guy who just dumped you.
Why were you flipping out? Was it because he was hanging out with other chicks? Sorry but I would not even get mad at that.( I would just dump him and run.) Sounds like a two faced cheater feeling out fresh grounds to me too. Just because you flip out or act like an a-hole does not mean he can cheat on you for relief either. He just sounds like stress on two legs...never calling AND hanging out with other girls...yuck. You can do better. Don't bother with him.
Why were you flipping out? Was it because he was hanging out with other chicks? Sorry but I would not even get mad at that.( I would just dump him and run.) Sounds like a two faced cheater feeling out fresh grounds to me too. Just because you flip out or act like an a-hole does not mean he can cheat on you for relief either. He just sounds like stress on two legs...never calling AND hanging out with other girls...yuck. You can do better. Don't bother with him.
lol had to laugh
I don't blame the guy. If I was dating someone who said mean hateful things all the time and flipped out, I would find other people to hang out with as well. Can't blame a guy (or girl) for not wanting to deal with someone like that!
Can't blame a chick for flipping out on an apathetic cheater either.
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