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The ideal Catholic dating relationship traditionally begins as a friendship, proceeds to occasional dates, and becomes exclusive (that is, the partners see each other exclusively) once marriage is in the picture. As such, Catholic dating is a prelude to marriage. Finding a marriage partner is, in the end, the sole purpose of dating in the Catholic view. Do you view all of your dates, or all of your romantic partners, as potential spouses?
The ideal Catholic dating relationship traditionally begins as a friendship, proceeds to occasional dates, and becomes exclusive (that is, the partners see each other exclusively) once marriage is in the picture. As such, Catholic dating is a prelude to marriage. Finding a marriage partner is, in the end, the sole purpose of dating in the Catholic view. Do you view all of your dates, or all of your romantic partners, as potential spouses?
I'm not a Catholic, I'm an atheist.
And I've never been interested in dating a guy for just a quick passionate fling. I won't go out with a guy unless he is long term relationship material/best friend material. Physical attraction is indeed important to me, but if that's our only connection, it's a no go. And I have no regrets in regards to men that I've turned down for a date.
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Originally Posted by tvdxer
The ideal Catholic dating relationship traditionally begins as a friendship, proceeds to occasional dates, and becomes exclusive (that is, the partners see each other exclusively) once marriage is in the picture. As such, Catholic dating is a prelude to marriage. Finding a marriage partner is, in the end, the sole purpose of dating in the Catholic view. Do you view all of your dates, or all of your romantic partners, as potential spouses?
Although I am not Catholic, this is my view towards relationships. I don't want to waste time with someone who I obviously would never marry. Once I make that determination that a relationship would not lead to marriage, I nip it in the bud. I know way too many folks who have married the wrong person by not setting their standards high and I really cannot afford the same mistakes.
I think Most men do not. (shruggs)...but I could be wrong.
You are absolutely correct on this.
Back when I was dating, I never ever EVER would think of any gal I went out with as a possible marriage partner. If she for some reason, proves herself as marriage material then fine, but I never ever would say to myself "Hmmm, think I'll ask Ashleigh out on a date because she may very well be marriage material and a great mother to our children". No. I would be more like "Hmmm, think I'll ask Ashleigh out on a date because I sure would like to bang her". That would be more accurate. This is where most men differ from most women.
I dated for fun. Not for marriage. So never in my life have I ever thought of someone I just "dated" as potential marriage partner. Now, if we were exclusive as being officially boyfriend and girlfriend, then over time (2-3 years maybe), some thoughts about possible marriage would enter my mind, but they would be only thoughts.
I think women think of dates as potential marriage partners much more than men, and older women think of it much more than younger women.
I like to add: The first few to several dates with a person is not even enough time to decide on if you actually like them and have anything in common because you are just meeting the "edited" version of their real selves, I think its just plain looney tunes to even be thinking about marriage during this time. Of course, if you are in your late 40s or older then maybe desperation is setting in so you get a pass there, but really, anyone who thinks someone may be marriage material by 2nd 3rd 4th or 5th date is just crazy.
The ideal Catholic dating relationship traditionally begins as a friendship, proceeds to occasional dates, and becomes exclusive (that is, the partners see each other exclusively) once marriage is in the picture. As such, Catholic dating is a prelude to marriage. Finding a marriage partner is, in the end, the sole purpose of dating in the Catholic view. Do you view all of your dates, or all of your romantic partners, as potential spouses?
I'm a guy and I have two types of girlfriend-relationships.
One type is where I invest a lot of energy and time into since I hope we will get married.
The second type is one where I don't invest a lot of effort and is merely doing simply to pass the time until I find one where I like the girl enough to get into a serious relationship.
I prefer all my relationships to be the first type (since I do want to get married), but if I can't find suitable girl for that then I will settle for type-two relationships. Unfortunately, most of my relationships are the second kind because I haven't found the right girl and I've been too busy with work and school.
I'm not sure if girls appreciate the difficulty of finding someone suitable for the first kind of relationship. But, for guys or for me at least, it's super difficult. Everything has to be close to perfect. It's not just looks. Sometimes there are certain personality traits that can be tolerated in the short-run, but will definitely ruin a marriage. So if I'm dating a girl who has those kind of "issues" then I won't be able to marry her. However, she's perfectly good as a date or short-term girlfriend. Divorce is still very complicated and time-consuming so I'm very wary of marrying the wrong person. There's no way for me to think in terms of marriage on the first date because I don't know her very well at all.
Last edited by Malkiel; 07-01-2010 at 01:06 AM..
Reason: grammar
Not at all. I see them as getting to know someone, maybe being a friend, maybe being more than a friend, maybe being bored to death and never wanting to see him again. Mostly that last one.
she is entitled to her own attitudes, but i think she needs to assess how she comes across, or seek out rather than be sought.
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