Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Given that most people already have a judgment of a stranger within 10 seconds, how can any decision be not superficial?
The dictionary definition of superficial is "concerned with or understanding only the obvious". Well, usually, the only things we know about strangers are their obvious traits.
Therefore, I'm confused when women discount men for selecting dates based on looks and calling it "superficial" when they themselves fail to use any better method. In other words, how can they not be superficial when they usually start liking a man long before they know him in any depth?
While, I don't want this to be a debate over men vs. women. But, I just want to use this example to point out a glaring hypocrisy.
I think people should read Malcom Gladwell's book Blink where he talks about making split-second decisions.
Unless we only date our friends (but that's another topic), all of us are making superficial decisions in dating and relationships.
This is a game, everything is a game. Either play it the best you can or get out. Apply what you perceive is "right" or "wrong" to social phenomenon fundamentally rooted in our genes after millions of years of evolution is pointless and frankly a waste of time. Agonizing over something so trivial and superficial as how others choose their mates is trivial and superficial.
“It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances”. Oscar Wilde
That is a little irony, by the way.
You know, Mr A and I dress like bums a lot of the time, but we have character and we do not rely on handouts We earned our money over the years and worked hard for what we now have. Perhaps you are young and naive.
Of course many people are superficial. It is a fact of life. You must learn how to differentiate between the two; I am older so I don't have that much trouble doing it.
Given that most people already have a judgment of a stranger within 10 seconds, how can any decision be not superficial?
The dictionary definition of superficial is "concerned with or understanding only the obvious". Well, usually, the only things we know about strangers are their obvious traits.
Therefore, I'm confused when women discount men for selecting dates based on looks and calling it "superficial" when they themselves fail to use any better method. In other words, how can they not be superficial when they usually start liking a man long before they know him in any depth?
While, I don't want this to be a debate over men vs. women. But, I just want to use this example to point out a glaring hypocrisy.
I think people should read Malcom Gladwell's book Blink where he talks about making split-second decisions.
Unless we only date our friends (but that's another topic), all of us are making superficial decisions in dating and relationships.
This discussion has been done here a hundred times. I've read Blink. It's right on target. And for the record, I've never considered anyone superficial for making a judgment based on someone's appearance. Until you get to know them, their appearance is all you have to go on. That's plain old human nature. Like the line from the movie Up In The Air - "I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster."
There is nobody who does not judge on appearance. It's how life works, and it can be anything whether clothes, looks, weight, hairstyle, you name it. Anything is open to being judged.
“It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances”. Oscar Wilde
That is a little irony, by the way.
You know, Mr A and I dress like bums a lot of the time, but we have character and we do not rely on handouts We earned our money over the years and worked hard for what we now have. Perhaps you are young and naive.
Of course many people are superficial. It is a fact of life. You must learn how to differentiate between the two; I am older so I don't have that much trouble doing it.
You appear to be a young pup...
Differentiate between what? As you say people judge on looks, such is life.
When you first meet someone all you have to go on is how they look, how they dress, present themselves, and how they speak.
You make a judgement about who they are as person, everyone does it.
To me, you are superficial if you discount them on any of those basis. If you think they are below you because they are unattractive, don't have designer clothes, shy or uneducated THAT is superficial.
We all do form judgements within seconds, I think that is human nature. However what we do with that first impression is what counts.
I don't think I am that superficial actually, if anything I tend to over-analyse everything .
Like everyone else first impressions count. But then I genuinely try to over-ride those judgemental prejudices and take people on a one to one basis , taking them as I find them. I try very hard to give people a chance before throwing in the towel. Anything else to me is stupid and short sighted and ultimately you lose out on potential friends.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I've read Blink. It's right on target. And for the record, I've never considered anyone superficial for making a judgment based on someone's appearance. Until you get to know them, their appearance is all you have to go on. That's plain old human nature. Like the line from the movie Up In The Air - "I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster."
